Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Wondering why women do this:

I see all the time on facebook grown women saying things like, "Love me some Colin Firth," or "Gotta get my Colin Firth Fix" or other equally gushing/lustful statements about popular figures, especially Mr. Firth and the actors/characters in the Twilight series movies.  These are not teeny boppers. These are mostly not twenty-something singles. These are thirty-something, married women, openly, droolingly lusting over a 50-year-old married man who has three children (who happened to play a Jane Austen character that they all are in love with) or a 19-year-old werewolf kid.

I always brushed it off as something that makes me uncomfortable. But today a thought occurred to me: What do their husbands feel when these women make statements like that publicly?

I asked Tim, and he said, "If thirty-seven year old men said about Bella what thirty-seven year old women say about her boyfriend, the men would be put in jail. And yet women talk like that all the time and it is culturally condoned."

Honestly, if Tim said publicly on facebook or Twitter, "Oh. My. Gosh. Katy Perry. Sooooooo hot." I would be really really hurt. It would be a huge blow to my sense of worth, and it would tear down my ability to trust in the security of our relationship. It would be a VERY damaging thing. And yet, women do this to their husbands all the time.  Why is that okay?

I don't think it IS okay.

Jesus said, "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." Matthew 5:28.  And you know, he didn't add, "But it's really good if a woman looks on a man to lust after him because it's a kind of bonding thing for all women to wish they could kiss the same man who happens to be married to someone else, or even one who is too young to marry."

Not only do I think it's not something men enjoy hearing their wives say, I don't think it's healthy for kids to hear their moms talking like that. What would that teach them? That you don't really love their father and the marriage could be over any minute? That's not something you want kids to think....Honestly, I NEVER heard my mother praise the physical appearance of a man other than my dad. If I had heard something like that, I would have spent my whole childhood nervous, unsure of whether my parents loved each other or not.

I think some things are best left not only unsaid, but unthought. And certainly not condoned by our culture.

1 comment:

Becca B said...

I hear you. A friend once asked me whether I wanted to have Edward or Jacob. I was surprised, because I thought the "Team Edward/Team Jacob" thing was all about who was going to get Bella. My response was that I only wanted David. :)

It's possible that I didn't understand her question.