Friday, March 13, 2009

Stressors in my life this week

Wow. Lots of posts lately. I guess this is how I'm getting my writing fix when I'm having writers' block for my novel (I'm trying to restructure it mentally before I start writing because the idea, pared down and made to look marketable, also became quite boring. I'm trying to rethink--what would make it fun for me? That's the book I'm going to write, the one that is fun for me, even if it's not marketable).

So, this week:

The baby and I both got thrush, which led to open sores on my breasts (I know, too much information!) that won't heal, making it indescribably painful to nurse. So we're dealing with that. At least the bronchiolitis in the baby went away.

We have our first ear infection in any of my children. (5 kids and 7 1/2 years, and we've never had one before!). This one is a result of RSV in Daniel and has caused some temporary but incredibly annoying (especially at night when I've gotten the baby to sleep and Dan wants to ask a question) hearing loss.

Baby had a well-child checkup and got his shots. He's doing remarkably well, and even woke up smiling this morning, but he is a little fussy and wants to be held a lot.

Tim is swamped with work, some of which pays (which actually puts the pressure on, you know?). Right now he's in San Francisco with Plumbers of Rome, preparing to compete tomorrow night. So I'm here alone with the kids again. Good thing I'm not scared to be alone, but I do miss him. He's started getting calls from strangers for music projects, so that's a good sign that maybe even without getting a job he got a job.

A good friend of mine got in a sticky situation (which I have no details on) and had her kids temporarily seized by Social Services. She was in court all day today trying to get them back. This is one of my deepest fears for me, so I've been pretty traumatized by it happening to someone I care about. I've spent the last day trying not to think about the empty bedrooms at bedtime, and how awful it must feel to know your children are crying for you somewhere and you can't get to them. In the process of the whole thing, her husband ended up being taken away, too, and she's heavily pregnant. Again, I have no details, but I know enough to be sad and stressed by it all, especially since, across the country, I can't think of anything I can do to help!

I am trying desperately to get my house in order. The problem has been that we never unpacked enough to get places to put things away, so I'm making lots of piles to sort and then I will find places to put things away, or we'll get rid of the things. We're stuck in this too-small house for now, so we've got to make do, right?

It's hard to make dinner while holding someone whose head is still floppy, so we've not been eating well. This leads to the dreaded weight gain, so I have found myself too big for my regular clothes and unwilling to wear my maternity clothes. I'm tired of looking crappy, so I'm trying to cut the carbs, but when you have your arms and lap full all the time, it's not easy to cook healthy stuff. I wonder how long I can live on cheese and deviled eggs (easy if you make them using a ziploc bag for all the mixing and filling).

Schedule? Messed up again. Instead of fixing the baby's sleep schedule to match ours, he somehow managed to fix ours to match his. So now we're all going to bed after 4:00 am (how I hate to see the sun rise!) and getting up closer to 4:00 pm. This is my most-hated sleep schedule because it is incredibly isolating. And it makes it really hard to get to church at 9:00 am. I'd just keep going at 1:00 pm and switch wards, except I don't speak Spanish, and the ward that meet at that time does. It also makes it really hard to get the kids out to play with other kids, and I feel stressed that they don't really have friends because of the sleep schedule. I remember having a good time with my best friend in first grade--and Jon made lifelong friends when he was in 2nd grade. I want Caleb to have that chance, but it's really hard when we come alive right about when other kids are going to bed.

Lots of my family members (parents and siblings) are sick and in Utah, so I just sit and worry and can't help them.

Daniel has developed full-body eczema again. The doctors always give us creams that sting and burn, so Dan won't let us put them on. His skin was clear in Reno (for the first time in ages), so I'm going through what could it be? The cats? The plush carpets? The dry air? The laundry soap? I think it might be the laundry soap, since he has no eczema on his face or under his diaper, but he does have it wherever clothes touch, plus on his hands (but it always shows up there last, after he's been rubbing and scratching everywhere else). I've had to step back and say, "Dan's comfort is worth the extra $5-$10 we'd have to spend per month for more expensive soap--and our clothes will be cleaner, too, and so last longer." Spending money is hard for me--I even feel terrible when I spend $100 a week to feed my family--of 7. I'm all about getting the best deal ever--and I have to remind myself that 'best deal' isn't necessarily equivalent to 'cheapest.' So I need to go buy the same detergent we had in Reno (arm and hammer liquid) and see if it helps (I think Purell and Tide can help with this, too, but they are so costly!)'s your week?


Laura said...

Wow, you really have had it! We'll send some prayers your way. When I'm feeling overwhelmed I just have to tell myself: one thing, one day at a time. You can do it!

morelightthanburden said...

Wow! It's amazing how someone else's bad week always puts yours into perspective . . .

Hope things get better soon.

Becca Jones said...

You remind me of what my dad told me once when I was having a really hard time.

He said, "Don't even try to make it 'til tomorrow. Just make it for one more minute, and you can add five minutes after that, and five minutes after that. Let tomorrow take care of itself."

It's probably not an exact quote, since it was a couple years ago, but the point is well-taken, and so nice to be reminded of.

Thanks for all the support!

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