Sunday, August 29, 2010

Strange beliefs we run across often:

1. Marriage is a temporary state, like having a boyfriend/girlfriend, so a married person (male or female) is always potentially available someday. This changes interactions between sexes a great deal and (unfortunately) both devalues and weakens marriage, and therefore society.

2. We have a lot of kids because Tim decided he wanted a lot of kids and I had to go along with it. For some reason it never crosses people's minds that we might have decided this together or that (gasp!) I might have wanted a lot of kids! The reality is that with 5 kids in a row, I was the one who started saying, "I think it's time to have another baby." Tim likes kids, so he was okay with that and excited about it, and we ultimately made the decision to go ahead with it together, but it has NEVER been his decision, and if I ever said, "I'm done," he'd say, "Okay." Tim considers each child a gift and thanks me for being willing to have each one--he understands that it's a sacrifice for me, and he would never impose that on me. But it's also a sacrifice for him. And it's a joint decision. It is, after all, not just his family. It's OUR family. And we BOTH wanted a lot of kids, as incomprehensible as that might be to the "modern" woman.  And, what's more, having a lot of kids has given BOTH of us an immense amount of joy. Not just Tim. Me, too. And no, I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything.  Or that someone imposed this on me.

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