If success is always defined in male terms, then women can't really have full participation in it. The answer, of course, would be to allow women to feel successful for doing women's things--like having babies. But our society is so power-and-money oriented that it may never happen.
Interesting, though, to consider this--the women who are MOST content and happy in their lives are likely NOT those who are "successful" according to the world. The ones who feel successful instead of like shams are likely the MOTHERS, not the career women.
So the question women must ask (and answer) becomes not "What career do you want" but "Do you want success according to male terms, without the satisfaction but with the social approval, or do you want success according to female terms, without the social approval but with an immense amount of satisfaction?"
Perhaps the nearly universal feeling of guilt women have when they leave their babies and go back to work is a HINT, rather than something we should be "getting over."