The Promised Update

So, what happened in LA?

Everyone keeps asking.

There is a non-disclosure agreement in force, so Tim can't say much.

What he did say was that he, personally, is extremely pleased with the outcome. He also clarified that the fact that 3 of 5 groups auditioned was actually HIS choice, not cruelty on the part of the system. Moosebutter (Las Vegas Cast, with Tim singing both solos), Wonder Voice (Kai on both solos--she's incredible!), and 5th Avenue (not Tim's group, but one he respects a great deal and who invited him to join sometimes) all sang, sang well, and got a good positive response.

He said he thought the producer who was there was fantastic.

He saw a lot of the top professional groups in the nation there--and some he'd never met or heard of before.

Some groups have reported they were not going on (so some already know). Tim doesn't know yet. What we DO know--and knew going in--is that they can't cast 3 groups with the same members, or even crossover members. So there would have to be some discussion there.

Tim has likened auditioning for Reality TV to being in a callback for a play that is only partially written. It's NOT a talent show where the most awesome act wins. Just like in a callback/casting situation, in the end it has very little to do with how good you are and everything to do with what they need in the show. They have certain roles in mind that need to be filled, and if the best possible choice for leading lady is 4 feet tall, then having a 6'6" leading man might not cut it--even if he's more talented than the short guy who matches her better. Does that make sense?  The producers of the show most certainly are trying to showcase top talent because people want to see that. But when almost (if not absolutely) all the top professional vocal groups in the nation show up to audition, it's more about filling roles than finding talent. They were ALL qualified, but you don't have an interesting show if it's made up of 8 all-guy groups that sing covers of pop songs in similar ways. The producers, I'm sure, were looking for interesting TV--groups that were good on camera, good in interviews, fun, talented, could do what the show needs them to (including, rumor has it, arrange their own music), and that aren't all the same. They need a mix of ethnicities, a mix of styles, a mix of specialties (have you noticed the good pro groups all seem to specialize in one or two genres?), a mix of group voices (all-guy, mixed, all-girl).

SO, despite the fact that Tim's groups probably did well enough to be on the show, and certainly were received well, and weren't cut outright like some groups were--we don't know if they got into the show and won't until the producers take the audition reels to the casting team and executive producer, and the hash out the details and how they want the show to go--and that might not involve mb, wv, or 5th Avenue.

Or it might.

Did I just read that?

from google news:
"Milk Consolidation May Harm Transparency, Varney Says"

Milk isn't usually transparent anyway.

"Milk Consolidation"--isn't that what happens when you leave milk in a bottle for a few days (like under a bed)?

Did I just read that?

job ad from Indeed.com: "Paralegal -Up to 42K hourly- Well-Established Stable Company"


$42,000/hour? I want that job! I could work one hour a YEAR and live comfortably.

for a good laugh

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6157363/20-most-bizarre-Craigslist-adverts-of-all-time.html

Tim's Auditions This Weekend

People keep asking me what's going on, so here's the scoop:

Tim is in LA auditioning for the new NBC reality series "Sing Off." There are over 200 groups auditioning for 8 slots, so chances aren't very good. Tim is auditioning with 5 different groups, 4 of them his. Each group gets 3 minutes to present one piece and were instructed to have a back up piece ready just in case. One of the two was supposed to be a "recognizable cover". Saturday is the last of 4 days of auditions spread across 4 cities. Groups from the first day are already getting call backs.

Despite the fact that Tim is well known for having groups that are not your "run of the mill" a cappella groups, we have little hope of any of his groups getting into the show. Because of the nature of TV, we're sure even if they liked more than one of the groups, only ONE can be put on the show (how would it be if the TV audiences could see that 5 of the 8 groups were actually Tim competing against himself? Might turn their show into a comedy--Tim trying to arrange and present 5 songs each week, and then getting cut and "sent home" and then showing up the next week still because his other group is still there?).

Also, judging from what we know about TV, we are pretty sure they aren't looking for the 'best' group--they're looking for 8 groups that will give them really intriguing, fun-to-watch TV. That usually means groups that have high chance of breaking down and fighting within themselves during the taping, or groups that are outlandishly fun to watch and full of antics offstage, too, or groups that are so incredibly amazing that people are awed, etc. These people aren't running a competition, they're searching for stories to tell that will be compelling and make people come back next week to see what happens--stories that make you love and hate the characters, and stories that shock and awe or elicit a "oooooh, puppies!" kind of response. They are looking for characters. With 200 nearly indistinguishable (sorry, acappellaheads, but if you're totally honest with yourselves, you'll admit it's true) a cappella groups around, Tim's "differentness" will be an asset, but not necessarily enough to even get him a second look.

So, with so little hope, why did he even go? It felt right. Every audition he's done in the past year has taught him unbelievable amounts of valuable stuff. And we agree with Mosaic--the path to success in vocal music is to do every audition for everything possible. So off he went, dozens of costumes in tow, to audition.

The groups: King4 (4 Elvises--Elvi?--singing a cappella arrangements of Elvis songs); Wonder Voice (an a cappella cover band that has "Tim" arrangements--not run of the mill, in other words); Plumbers of Rome; and moosebutter. He's also singing bass for a really awesome Vegas jazz group called 5th Avenue. Toxic Audio also auditioned, and, although he's not involved in this one directly, he IS the principle understudy for 2 of the male parts.

Below are videos of some of the audition pieces, but not the actual auditions themselves (which happen tomorrow) or even the casts he took to the auditions.

Wonder Voice, just "I Will Survive" (7:24-10:37), but with "Across the White Rabbit" (3:30-7:10) as a back up:





Plumbers of Rome, just "Tainted Love" (0:00-3:30, but watch the whole thing--I LOVE their "Fred Jones" and "No Digggity"--listen to the variety in their voices! And those instrumental sections? Richard does a killer cello.) One of those others is the back up, but I don't know which:



moosebutter, but not this cast for either song:

and the long version:

I think their back up is "Canada" or "Witch Doctor." Not sure.


There are no videos yet of the King4, but I think they're singing "All Shook Up".


And 5th Avenue, who I think might be singing a disco song they just arranged as their principle audition piece, but I think the other is "How High the Moon." Tim is singing bass. They're really really good. Here is their promo video:

Did I just read that?

from google news today:


"Uninsured More Likely to Die, Study Finds
ABC News - Emily Walker - ‎49 minutes ago"

More likely than what? 

Hey, if health insurance even gave the slightest chance that you'd NOT die, wouldn't everyone get it? 

Since this is, technically, also a family blog:

I know....after the list of things I posted today, you're sure you're looking at the blog of an English teacher, right? Maybe a copy editor?

Yeah, being a mom doesn't beat those things out of you. Moms still have interests and talents, believe it or not.

But, since moms are ALSO interested in their children, here is the monthly baby update.

Nathanael turned 8 months old on the 9th of Sept. About a week ago, he started talking. He says, "This" and "That" and points with his pudgy fingers and seems to know what those words mean. He also says, "Is? Is?" meaning "What is this/that/it?" It's very cute.

Then tonight, he crossed whatever barrier was holding him back and started crawling around the room. Slowly. But he crossed the room in both directions by himself. He's my first child to crawl using the normal crawling position--two hands and two knees. Everyone else crawled two hands, one knee, and one sideways leg or foot so they could get to sitting really fast and get playing with whatever they caught.

So now I'm looking around with an eye to baby-proofing.

Did I just read that?

from lasvegas.craigslist.org: "Please help me with my Singer - <<domestic gigs"


Yeah, singers can be a pain in the butt. Mine sometimes absolutely refuse to learn new songs, and sometimes they show up late for rehearsal and miss their warmups. What's a music director to do?

Did I just read that?

Foxnews.com is on a roll today: "Dogs Smell Remains at Kidnap Suspect's Home"


So the place smells like dogs. Is that news?

Did I just read that?

'Nother one from foxnews.com today: "Insane Killer Escapes During Mental Institution's Field Trip"


I don't believe institutions generally get field trips. Usually it's the PEOPLE that do.

And then there's the first sentence in the story:

"Police are searching for killer committed to a mental institution after he escaped during a field trip to the Spokane County Interstate Fair." So he was committed to the institution for escaping during a field trip? Interesting.

This is what the guy did that got him in trouble in real life: "In 1987, Paul slashed an elderly woman's throat in Sunnyside in 1987, soaked her body in gasoline to throw off search dogs and buried the remains in her flower garden. He was later diagnosed as being criminally insane and suffering from schizophrenia, KXLY reported." And then this: "It's not the first time Paul has escaped.
In 1990 he walked away from custody and attacked a sheriff's deputy who apprehended him."  So why are they taking guys like this on day trips to the fair? Aren't there some people who are too dangerous to take out? Like this guy?

Did I just read that?

From Foxnews.com's home page: "Lawyers Try to Stop Man's Second Execution Try"

He was trying to be executed twice? He tried to execute himself twice and the lawyers got in the way? Drat those lawyers!

From the article:

"Sweeney argues that a second try at an execution is unconstitutional. At the very least, he said, Strickland should further delay Tuesday's execution. Broom "sustained both physical and mental injuries," Sweeney said. "It's going to take time for all the psychic trauma to dissipate. Even if it never goes away, I think it's wrong to try to do it again so quickly in these circumstances.""

The man is a child rapist and murderer. Since when do we wait for murderers and monsters to be psychically at peace before we EXECUTE them? I mean, the first execution failed and so we tell him we're sorry and let him get better and....

This seems a tad ridiculous, doesn't it? Especially considering we tax payers are paying for all his extra days to get emotionally healthy before his second execution.

ANOTHER new blog?

I have been thinking about sharing all my cheap and easy recipes for YEARS--family-friendly, easy, simple, healthy meals from relatively basic ingredients that are easy to put together, mostly fast, and tasty. Most of them I learned from my mother. All of them I've tried.

In response to a friend's request on facebook, I decided to not collect and self-publish, but just post online for all the world to benefit from.

You can access them here:
http://beccajonescooks.blogspot.com/

There's only one so far.

I've only cooked one dinner so far!

But I'll start posting my recipes there instead of here. Go see if it is of any interest. Post comments. Email me recipes to test and post.

Comma Confusion

This isn't a "did I just read that" because it's not amusing. It's just confusing. But the editor and English teacher in me just had to point out two sentences that illustrate why we MUST teach people how to use commas or convince them to hire copy editors.

The trend in the last 15 years has been toward using fewer commas. Despite what your first grade teacher said, you really aren't supposed to put commas everywhere you pause in a sentence, and people are finally teaching that. For example, you never use a comma after the word "because" even though we often pause there in speech and people frequently write commas there.

Unfortunately, this "fewer commas" trend can lead to confusion. This is a sentence that is frequently used to illustrate why we need to put in more commas: "She lived with her parents, a dog and a pig."

By the new rules of comma use, this is a proper sentence. But the meaning is totally destroyed by leaving out the comma after "dog." What the author intended was to say that she lived with her parents and two pets. What this sentence says is that her parents are a dog and a pig.

So you don't want to leave out commas altogether, or even go by the new rules if they obscure the meaning you intend.

But many, many people swing too far the other way.

I read this in "Utah State," an alumni mag, Vol. 15, No. 2, Summer 2009, on page 9:

"Applause, for Craig Jessop, head of the music department and, since May 16, the theater department as well, who conducted a formidable first season with his newly created Americal Festival Chorus and Orchestra and boosted support for USU scholarships at the same time."

This sentence has a lot of problems. The first sentence in an article is supposed to introduce the topic of the article and lead you in. This does neither. The article is about a visit Donny Osmond made to USU for a benefit concert. So the sentence missed the topic altogether. It also is so complex that it doesn't lead you anywhere--a major flaw when the article already has the strike against readability of being printed in white text on a black page (a no-no for easy reading).

The main problem, though, boils down to a misplaced comma. Do you already know which one?

Yup, the first one.

As it stands, this is a fragment of a declarative sentence. "Applause" is the subject, followed by a bunch of clauses that modify each other but are what I call "disposable clauses"--they aren't necessary for the sentence to be understood. Take out all those disposable clauses, and you are left with this supposed sentence: "Applause." Not much of a sentence, is it?

BUT, if you remove that first comma, the sentence magically transforms into an imperative sentence (a command). Remove the disposable clauses and you get, "Applause for Craig Jessop." The rest of the sentence is still crap, and mostly still disposable (although the last clause is important to understand WHY we need applause for Craig Jessop). It's still not a good sentence, but at least there is sense in it this way.

There are actually several ways to fix this sentence:

"Applause for Craig Jessop, who conducted a formidable first season with his newly created Americal Festival Chorus and Orchestra and boosted support for USU scholarships at the same time."

or

"Applause, for Craig Jessop has conducted a formidable first season with his newly created Americal Festival Chorus and Orchestra and boosted support for USU scholarships at the same time."

Better, still, would be just to say: "Craig Jessop conducted a formidable first season with his newly created Americal Festival Chorus and Orchestra and boosted support for USU scholarships at the same time."

See how this final example is actually a stronger, more appealing sentence? It's a better lead in to the article and more likely to keep people reading despite the horrific page layout (white on black!!!) and unflattering photo of Donny Osmond and his dancers (with a bulldog cellist in the background who is both more sharply in focus than the star and clearly NOT amused by the act he has been forced to accompany--see a low-res version of the picture by hovering over "6. Headliners for Scholarships" here: http://www.utahstate.usu.edu/. Click the link for the article.)

Despite the fixability of the sentence, I would still scrap the whole thing and start over with a sentence that introduces the ACTUAL topic of the article (vs the ASSIGNED topic of the article which is alluded to in the first 2 paragraphs and then never really discussed.)

Did I just read that?

Sent from a friend, Andrew Cannon, a writer who is shopping a novel to agents right now, from a form-letter rejection he received:

"I'm sorry, but I am probably not the right agent for this work."

Andrew says:

"There's no "probably" about it. If you don't want to represent my book, then you're DEFINITELY not the right agent for the work."

I agree. "Probably" doesn't soften the rejection, it just weakens it. Either you ARE or you AREN'T the right agent for the work. There's no need to make yourself look wimpy or indecisive in order to not hurt a writer's feelings. It's a REJECTION after all--the writer isn't going to be happy even if you say "probably."

An interesting set of questions regarding universal health coverage

I would like answers to these questions, too.

It's easy to state the truth that health care should be available to poor people. I know we've certainly suffered from lack of access (and from what access is available being crappy). But certainly it's not a problem to solve in a month using money nobody has right now!

Taking time to debate will improve the end result. And these questions are good ones to start with.

I would like answers to these questions, too:

http://www.sixteensmallstones.org/somequestions-for-proponents-of-a-national-government-run-health-insurance-system

Headline from the Atlanta Journal Constitution:

"Celiac Disease May Raise Risk of Dying"

http://www.ajc.com/health/content/shared-auto/healthnews/-gen/630971.html

You mean to OVER 100%?

Dying is generally considered one of those rare certainties in everyone's life.

Did I just read that?

"Now Booking Live Painters - (Las Vegas) <<creative gigs"

Good thing they aren't booking DEAD painters!

Normal times? Nah....there never have been

Tim is hiding in the mattress-box in the bedroom recording and re-recording songs that need to go out as demos and rehearsing for his Saturday auditions for the upcoming NBC reality show, "Sing Off" (which he is auditioning for no less than FIVE times singing 3 different voice parts in 5 different groups).

In half English, half Benjamese, Benji is filling in the dialogue and songs for "Aristocats" because the speakers are turned off and he doesn't know how to turn them on. He's getting the sound effects, too, but mixing some of the lyrics. "Everybody. Everybody. Everybody wants to sit down in the finking chair and fink, fink fiiiiiiiiiink. Everybody wants to be a cat." I noticed he was doing this when I heard him over there saying, "Swinger. Swinger? Swinger." If you've seen "Aristicats" you know what he's talking about.

Caleb is playing Mario fangames online, trying to get ideas for his own games that he is making on the computer, or possibly making a walk-through to post on YouTube. He's only just 8, but this is his favorite thing--to make games and teach others how to play them.

Anda, age 6, talking babytalk, is discussing motifs from literature, infusing characters and situations from her favorite novels and shows (Harry Potter, the Chronicles of Narnia, and "Cyberchase") into Caleb's game (they frequently do running commentaries--like duo short story writing--explaining the fiction--plots and motivations--behind why the little figure on the screen is jumping on platforms) while she draws "the Cybersquad".

Daniel is preparing to "start school" for the day--he is 4, but just entered first grade. It's cute to see him doing introductory transformational geometry with his baba in his mouth and his favorite stuffed animals gathered around his feet.

Nathanael, 8 months, is alternately trying to pull the characters out of the tv, eat a sock, and try to use the mouse to click on things on Caleb's computer.

And I am blogging, finishing up the final details on an art quilt AND on the next section of my novel at the same time, and realizing that I like life this way. And also that we are weird.

But I like us weird. I don't particularly want to be more normal.

So why do I spend so much time longing for a normal life? Perhaps it's time to accept what we have and enjoy it instead of spending so much time wondering when we get to settle down and be like other people.

We're never going to be like other people.

But there are plenty of people to fill that role.

And not so many to fill ours.

So we're gypsies.

Maybe that's what we were meant to be?

Did I just read that?

from google news:

"Mediation Program for Homeowners Facing Foreclosure
KLAS-TV - ‎10 hours ago"

If the mediation program is facing foreclosure, too, I wonder what kind of good they did their homeowner clients?

Did I just read that?

So, in case you haven't been following this, a Yale student disappeared just before her wedding, and after a few days of searching, cops found her body hidden inside a wall on campus. Then today we got this headline in the LA Times:

"Police: Annie Le's death 'not a random act'"

I don't know if the newspaper or the cops are the idiots. Most of us don't stuff bodies into walls in one of those, oh, you know, random acts that happen every day.

Of Mice and Toddlers (and recording booths)

For the past 5 years, we've had a home studio. We call it the Bat Cave, and if you look at Tim's CD liners, you'll see reference to that. The name came about because at one point, about 8 years ago, we were living in a basement apartment that was accessed down a long, narrow, steep staircase. A friend who happened to be an artist came over and said it was like our secret creative hideout. He went home and then a couple of days later brought us a sign he'd made from metal for our secret lair--it said "Bat Cave."

When we moved into our next house, the spot we ended up dedicating for a studio and office for Tim was an unfinished room in the basement that had low ceilings, concrete floors and walls, and a hole that led into the garage. It looked like a cave. So up went the sign, "Bat Cave". Not long after, Tim started doing the home recording studio thing, and the name stuck. I mean, after all, we had the sign.

(This all is leading to the mice and toddlers. You'll see.)

So Tim's first recording booth, in Colorado, was a tubular metal bunk bed that he stood on end and strapped the mattresses to the outside of with bungee cords. He threw a carpet over the top and recorded (very successfully) in there for years.

When we moved to Vegas with twice as many kids as we'd moved to Colorado with, the kids needed the bunk bed to sleep on, so he started just recording at close range with a good mic right at his desk. He'd done some of this in the Bat Cave before, so he'd worked out how to make it work. (We did have a few recordings spoiled by children, and a few that children noises in the distance were just incorporated into the aural fabric of the song.)

As we toured, Tim learned a lot about recording just wherever we happened to be. I remember him making a very successful recording in the corner of the living room at my mother's house over the holidays when people were visiting not far away (and not quietly) simply by throwing a heavy coat over his head and the mic.

Anyway, we left Vegas and came to stay with my mom for a bit while we look for a new place to land in Vegas, and Tim has struggled to find a recording space. There are 8 farm outbuildings on the property, all with electricity. And all with VERY LOUD Crickets. Since Tim does most of his recording in the dead of night, that didn't work. One outbuilding has a root cellar that would be quiet, but he'd have to carry his equipment down a ladder into a very dark hole with a low ceiling (and he's a tall man who likes to record standing up) and there's lots of dirt to spoil things.

He tried recording in the room where we set up all our computers, but there were two problems: Kid noises and a very friendly wild mouse (see, I told you I 'd get to that) that started using his desk as a highway while he was working, running across it three or four times a night.

Finally, he went into our family bedroom and leaned two mattresses up in the corner, squaring himself a box about as big as a card table--a recording booth!--and he recorded (successfully, again) in there, with two wood walls and two mattress walls.

So the recording thing worked out fine (Christmas music that came out so beautiful the rough copies were intensely moving to me--and they were mostly your run-0f-the-mill Christmas songs, not even religious ones!).

But the mouse thing was an issue for all of us. An expected issue, being on a farm at the beginning of fall, but an issue nonetheless. I mean, the little black thing was frolicking with the children in the living room and openly eating the food in the cupboards.

So we put out mouse poison in places children were not going to be able to get to.

We underestimated Benjamin.

Tonight while I was trolling the 'net for gigs for Tim, which I do frequently, I was only half watching the kids. They're usually fine. I was holding the baby. Benji was playing by my feet. Nobody else gets in trouble.

And then suddenly I heard spitting behind the entertainment center. Alarmed, I leapt up looking for Benji. He was gone. So I stumbled over toys and peeked behind the entertainment center.

Benji was standing there, block of mouse poison in his fist, spitting. There were little teeth marks in the block of poison.

I let out one of those only-moms-can-do-it "NO!!!!"s, scared Tim into the living room in a half second (he guessed what had happened), scared the baby witless (I was holding him and put him down, so I imagine he thought he'd done something wrong), and scared Benji half out of his mind, too.

But there were no chunks out of the poison and he looked fine.

So Benji and I had a spitting contest in the sink. Yes, I taught him how to fill his mouth with water and spray all over. Cleaned his mouth out good and he thought it was fun. And we played "bubbles" and "Scrub scrub scrub" with the soap and washed our hands good. Then he went off to play and I went off to see if I could find the box from the mouse poison to see what I was supposed to do next.

A few minutes later, Benji was trying to shake my cajun seasoning all over the baby saucer, so I went to fetch him and found his palms and fingers had turned bright bright red, and he was acting really quiet (this is unusual for the boy who SHOUTS even when he sings) and tired.

Then I really got panicky. I rushed him in to Tim and we played, "If you're happy and you know it, stick out your tongue" to see if just the places he touched the poison with his hands were turning red (and he acted like they were itchy) or if his mouth was turning red and swelling, too (since we had that walnut scare with Dan last month, we've been a little wary of this). He thought it was great fun to sing his favorite song AND get to stick out his tongue. His tongue looked normal.

And then I noticed the perfect white circle in his palms and remembered there was a leaky bottle of red food coloring in the box with the cajun seasoning with a lid just the size of that white circle. And that he'd just had a major scare (from me screaming) and it was almost 4:00 am and he'd only slept 5 hours the night before so we could go to church. That explained the red and the quiet and the sleepy.

So I got him a baba and Tim put him to bed while I called poison control for only the second time in 8 years (pretty amazing considering we have 4 boys and a very adventuresome girl!). They made me wake my parents to find out what brand of mouse poison it was (and I think I've never heard both my parents swear right in a row like that ever in my whole life! They aren't swearing people. Usually.). Scott, at poison control, was really nice. He said the poison was a blood thinner, so we have to watch him for a few days because it's a slow-acting poison. BUT he also said that they haven't ever had a kid in Utah eat enough of that particular brand of poison to die from it yet. It's formulated for very small creatures, after all. (I'm not telling you which brand because if your kid eats mouse poison, you should call poison control, not just trust that some blog somewhere said it's okay. Some brands can kill kids really fast, apparently. We got lucky.).

When I told Tim, "Everything's probably okay, but that child will be the death of me!", he replied, "He'll be the death of himself first!"

So, relieved, we put everyone to bed (after 4 milk bottles, 3 bananas, 2 cheese sandwiches and one only-jam jam sandwich with no butter and no "lid", each of which had to be fetched in its own trip to the kitchen, naturally). (Caleb asked for a "whole" sandwich so I was delighted when I pulled the pieces of bread out of the bag and they each had one big hole in the middle. He thought the pun was great--he ended up with a "Hole Sandwich").

And now that I worked my stress out by writing all this, I'm going to bed, too.

And then I'll be spending the next three days watching for unexplained bruising on a toddler who does things like fall into the coal bin and play there, jump off the tables, fall down the stairs headfirst regularly, walk barefoot through patches of thistles, fall off the hammock repeatedly and laughingly, and get hit by swinging children on purpose.

Did I just read that?

from craigslist:

"Fiction or Nonfiction stories only - (National) <<writing gigs"

What other kind of stories are there?

Did I just read that?

Craigslist--the source of much linguistic confusion!

"You would need to write the songs as well as music.style>rock ..Please send demo or link and "RATES".in fIrst email,others will be deleted."

So songs and music are two different things?

"Style is greater than rock"?

And it seems pretty futile to try to get any dialogue going if they delete all but the first email you send!

Why I've Been So Quiet Lately

One of my basic tenets in writing is that EVERY character:
a) is the main character in their own story, and
b) considers him- or herself the good guy, or at least justified (even if they lie to themselves).

Being a writer, I often look at the real world through the lens of fiction. And, since I am the main character in my own story (just like you are in yours), I often compare my experiences to standard fictional motifs, events, or plots.

For example, in the past few months, the hero of our story found her home becoming more and more hostile and uncomfortable. The natives were getting restless, the ogres were starting to march, the resources were running low, the fort was compromised and becoming difficult to maintain, and it became apparent that, for the safety of the hero and those in her care, it was imperative that they flee.

So, in an unplanned and extremely messy move, the hero and her clan saved what they could, gave the rest away, and fled to a distant but friendly and well-stocked castle/farm where they could rest and recuperate while they plotted out the next steps in their adventure. (Note to self: while the author may know how the story ends, the characters DON'T, so it's okay that I don't know how my story ends even though I do when I'm writing). (Second note to self: pray you're living a fantasy adventure and not a tragedy).

Naturally, since things in stories can't stay pleasant, even in the safe and cheerful castle, we were stricken with the plague (or an evil magic spell...aka influenza) soon after arriving. In their weakened state, the spell almost did the hero in, but she was nursed back to health by the extremely generous and friendly locals and family.

Just like heroes in stories, though, living in safety and peace seems not to be the lot of our hero. While it is pleasant, there are missions to fulfill and work to do, plans to make and futures to prepare for, so the stay in the castle is tainted with the knowledge that it cannot and should not go on forever, despite the pleasant walks in the gardens and abundant harvest to be gathered and shared.

Despite the fact that the hero doesn't know what's coming next, she is busy trying to prepare for it....whatever it may be.

*****
Or, if you prefer the more traditional Christmas-letter approach to a family update:

Tim has tours scheduled in Utah, Wyoming, Nevada, and California, so he's in and out. When he's in, he's busy being Farm Boy (if you've read "The Princess Bride" you know what I'm talking about), recording demo materials for his new show(s) he's putting together, and trying to track down the resources to make a demo DVD for his agent so they can start booking him out and taking him to showcases.

Becca is trying to sort laundry, care for kids, deal with suddenly having company EVERY DAY when she's used to living far far away, and make quilts/write novels for relaxation in the 20 seconds she gets free every day.

The kids are trying to learn how to do school with people around. It's taken them a month, but they've finally figured out how to play outside and are dirtier and happier than they've ever been. Caleb got baptized. Anda has decided the hammock is the place to be (though she doesn't use it to relax--frequently it's a boat going over a waterfall). Dan is building, doing 1st grade math, and learning how to be big. Benji is in less trouble because throwing things outside is okay--and so is digging in the fields, swinging on the swings, etc. Nathanael is trying to learn to crawl and sleep through the night. He's fallen in love with tree-ripened peaches. (As have I.) All the kids are delighted to have cousins to play with frequently.

If you happen to be in Utah or coming through, we're staying at a fantastic mini farm (3 acres) in Lehi and would love to see friends and family while we are here. Call or email first if you want to see all of us (since Tim is still touring). Also, the sleep disorder prevails, and we are at better but still odd hours, so don't plan to see us in the morning. And if we fail to call you back, call us again. Things are still mostly chaos here and we aren't always available at normal hours.

Did I just read that?

It was a good day on craigslist las vegas!

From craigslist today:"Models Needed for Mutant Film - (VEGAS) <<talent gigs"

I always knew there was something wrong with models.....

and this: "Play Live At Our Venue - (Las Vegas) <<talent gigs"

Glad they aren't looking for people to play dead....or undead.

and this: "Production company seeking for local crew people to shoot - (Lake Las Vegas) <<crew gigs"

Didn't know crew people in Vegas were so terrible!

and this: "Wedding-Need Magician - (Las Vegas) <<event gigs"

It might be mysterious to some, but a wedding isn't magic. Hard work, maybe, but not magic.

and this, from the "free" section: "Craft supplies, baby, maternity, jeans - (orem) pic"

Craigslist lets you give away some things, but babies I think might be prohibited.

They SAID....

Everyone in the press assured us that we parents were just throwing a temper tantrum and nobody was going to be teaching GLBT curriculum in the schools. Then, the instant we consider being pacified, what do they do?

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,546280,00.html?test=latestnews

Teach it.

I am totally opposed to kids being teased because of their parent's choices. But, as the parent in the article mentioned, are they covering respect for racial minorities? No. Are they covering respect for religious people? No. Just sexual orientation.

Now how can you justify that as anything but indoctrination?

Did I just read that?

From a craigslist ad: "THERE IS GOING TO BE ALOT OF PRESS INCLUDING PUBLIC PRESS SO ITS A GOOD WAY TO GET NOTICED! "

I've never heard of non-public press.....

Benji's Checked-off To Do List for Sunday Night:

Snuggle with mommy while drinking baba.

Toss all books off end tables.

Break a leaf off Grandma's plant and tell mom you finally "got a Flower!" Break up leaf and stem and scatter.

Toss all the books off one shelf (do more if possible).

Eat popsicle in Dad's bed and fall asleep.

Drag nintendo controller all over house by cord; bang it on as much of the antique furniture as possible.

Shove Nintendo controller plug into mommy's mouth ad nauseum (literally).

Spit chewed-up watermelon all over the carpet. In many rooms.

Draw all over self with black marker.

Eat ice cream.

Spill paper cup with fruit stones in it.

Play with poop that didn't go down the potty when someone flushed.

Spill potty water on the floor.

Try to take appliances out of the cupboard (foiled by mom; try again later.....).

Play with whole wheat flour in cupboard.

Have a bath.

Pee in tub (while Baby is in there, too).

Rub pizzadilla into the kitchen floor and then eat it (gets the grease off).

Spit-spray water all over the living room carpet.

Find another cup.

Spit and spill water on the antique end tables.

Try to play outside after dark (foiled by mom; wait until she's not looking....).

Put toys, candy, and nail polish out the doggy door.

Cry to watch a movie (try several titles; perhaps one will stick).

Run screaming (wait until Grandma and Grandpa are asleep).

Hit Anda with a broomstick.

Toss a stick and hit mommy in the head (Dang, narrow miss. Try again when she's not looking....).

Chase Daniel.

Throw chairs around.

Mess with the article Caleb is reading online (how many clicks in before he catches me?).

Lose one of Anda's shoes (but not the other).

Run car all over keyboard while Mommy is typing.

Run away when Mom tries to change my poopy diaper (wait until baby is crying already).

Yell at Mommy: "Don't Spank ME! I Spank YOU!"

So, we're in Utah for a bit.....

I grew up in Utah, so it should be familiar territory for me. But I've been away long enough now that there are some things that have struck me as very very odd:

The people are unfriendly. I have more than once looked someone in the eye and smiled at them and gotten a blank stare back. I'm the kind of person who makes friends with the clerks in the grocery store, so this is strange for me.

Um, Road Rage? Why?

2-toned hair. Are the women aspiring to be zebras or skunks?

Skinny moms. They don't have as many of these elsewhere. What's up with that?

Those same pitying looks when I go out in public with 5 kids. I thought people in Utah, of all places, would understand and I wouldn't be so abnormal.

Conformity is highly valued here. Moreso than other conservative places I've lived.

Hello, Billboards! Even Las Vegas doesn't have so many billboards. And the billboards are text-intensive---how are you supposed to read them and drive safely?

Love the speed suggestion on the roads. Oh, you mean that's a speed limit? Why is it the starting point in the slow lane on the freeway? Why is it the tailgate speed on city streets? I'm confused... Are the cops just lulling people into carnal security so they can make a killing on speeding tickets when the economy starts pinching local budgets, then?

Maybe everyone speeds so much here because ya'll don't ever post the speed limit? Hey? Might think about that some time.....

Let's hear it for uncontrolled growth! I've never seen so many communities that seem to aspire to slumhood in my life!

I used to think summers here were hot. Now I haven't found a day for the kids to play in the slip-n-slide in two weeks in Mid August.

Wow. Perfume. All over the place. Even on the men. Lingering on the sidewalks when nobody has gone by in hours. Surprising because Utah is a relatively nice-smelling place in general. Except for all the perfume....

Did I just read that?

"Dog Coats Produced by Three Genes" (http://dsc.discovery.com/news/2009/08/27/dog-coats.html)

Gene Kelly, Gene Wilder, and Gene Roddenberry?

Funny. I thought they were being produced by Cruella deVille.....

I always regret this, but....

From the Silicon Valley Mercury News.com, regarding the attempt to take the gay marriage debates to the Supreme Court: "Walker previously said he wanted a full trial to provide the appeals court with a complete record, including testimony related to the history of discrimination against gays and lesbians, the impact of denying marriage rights to same-sex couples and evidence related to whether Proposition 8 had a discriminatory intent."

Can I tell you how sick I am of biased reporting on this case? Clearly either the reporter or the judge himself is 100% already in favor of gay marriage--no court case necessary.

What about testimony related to the history of discrimination against religious people? What about the impact of granting marriage rights to same-sex couples (socially and for religions and religious organizations like schools and social services organizations)? What about whether Prop 8 had an anti-discriminatory (for religious people) intent? Or a religious intent? Or the intent to protect our rights to believe in the Bible as we understand it, and not force religious institutions to do things that are unconscionable to them?

I realize this is a two-sided issue that will end in someone being deeply hurt. There is no peaceful solution that I can see--my "right" to freedom of religion is at odds with your "right" to marriage. Both sides see their unalienable right to pursuit of happiness under attack. Both sides feel discriminated against and want the government to force the other guys to shut up and leave them alone. Both sides feel deeply, undeniably firm in their view. Neither side is going to be able to be convinced to change their minds--so all the explanations and propaganda out there are just feed the flames of discord instead of converting people to one side or the other. Nobody seems to be acknowledging that we don't have the right to force people to abandon their beliefs, no matter how repulsive we find them.

Do white supremacists or polygamists have the right to believe things we find discriminatory? Absolutely. We protect that right, even if we think it is horrific. Do they have the right to teach their children their beliefs? They do--and social services can't take their kids away over it. Do they have the right to hurt other people? No.

And that's where this debate stands--your freedom to act on your beliefs threatens my religious freedom and well-being--threatens to hurt me--in my perception, and my freedom to act on my beliefs threatens yours in your perception. How do you solve that problem?

One thing I know: you can't solve it by denying that the other side has something to say that is worth addressing. Sticking your fingers in your ears and yelling louder is NOT an effective problem-solving strategy. Even for the courts. Even if the press is doing it, too.

There IS an actual debate going on here, and it is very much being presented as a one-sided bullying by religion. That bothers me. One side brings up questions, the other side either refuses to acknowledge them or brushes them off with a cursory "not a valid concern" or pulls out emotional propaganda. Either way, THE QUESTIONS REMAIN. Nobody is trying to answer them. They're just trying to make people agree or shut up--but not addressing their very real concerns.

And the Press is party to the whole problem.

Where debate is stifled, government becomes one-sided and corrupt.

Regardless of the issue, if the people aren't allowed to ask questions and seek answers, we are in seriously bad shape.

So. My week.

This was one of the harder weeks of MY LIFE.

First, we were trying to move. This is one of those things that our personal physical problems makes much harder than average. Moving takes a sustained physical and mental effort over several days to several weeks. But with my fibromyalgia and Tim's ADD, sustained physical (me) and mental (Tim) efforts are nigh unto impossible. Add to that 85 degree heat IN THE HOUSE and 110 degree heat outside, and the fact that we haven't exactly found another house in town to go to yet so we were trying to cram everything into a POD that was too small, actually, even after we decided to get rid of all the mattresses, the kitchen table, some of the kitchen chairs, the crib, the spare infant car seat, the exersaucer, a couple of dressers, two couches, etc.... So the pure physical labor in the heat left us deeply exhausted.

So we were sleeping from about 10:00 am until about 5:00 pm and then waiting for dark and working through the night when it was cool. But even for us those are the wrong sleeping hours. So we were all deeply exhausted from lack of sleep, too.

Stress is bad for fibromyalgia. Any emotional highs or lows or intense periods of any kind leave my body hurting for a couple of days. And moving is stressful. So is having to tell a landlord that just lost her job that we won't be her tenants anymore. Moving also requires repeated motions (bad for fibro) and sustained motion (bad for fibro) and extended periods of labor (bad for fibro) and messes with sleep and eating schedules (bad for fibro) and makes eating right hart (bad for fibro). Generally I can push myself to do anything I want for a couple of days, and then I'm okay for a day or two, and then I'm smashed and pay dearly. So the second week of a two-week move I'm also paying for everything I did the first week. So I was in pain all week--every bit of moving hurt enough that I ended up wandering the house unable to make myself fight the heat to work because it hurt to work.

Moving stresses children, who then need their mother MORE, not less. And I have 5 children. All stressed. Plus one is still nursing and he was hot so he wanted to nurse more. And he was stressed and wanted to be held all the time because, let's face it, a 7 month old can see that something is up but can't possibly comprehend it. And the big kids cried when I sold things we didn't want, so that didn't help. I admit I actually picked out the 6-hour-long video of cartoons and put it on for Benji hoping he would watch it for a long long time.

So where does that get us? Hot, exhausted, in pain, and toting a baby. And trying to pack everything into a trailer to take to Utah and a Pod to take to storage--both too small for what needed to happen. And trying to pay attention to 5 small stressed children, two of whom are in diapers still and one who is just barely potty trained.

And then Daniel tasted his first Walnut. And had an allergic reaction so severe he ended up in the emergency room. So he now has a life-threatening nut allergy we have to deal with.

And then all 5 kids got head colds.

In the midst of this, we found out one sister (who is pregnant) was incredibly ill and in and out of the hospital (and she still offered to come down and help me!). Another was put on bed rest so her baby wouldn't come early and her toddler got hand foot and mouth disease. Another had a baby. And a brother got into and then out of the hospital and is getting divorced. So stress in the extended family compounded our concerns and made us hesitate to ask anyone for help.

And what was Tim doing? Well...he had to pack his office and studio--no small undertaking-- and both sort and pack the storage room (not big, but full). And he had to arrange for help moving big things and deal with that. He had to pack the stuff out of the house, playing tetris with the stuff and the spaces available and with no help from me because I was busy juggling kids, throwing things into boxes, and trying to keep Benjamin from getting smashed while he was helping, running down the street, tearing up the neighbors' yards, or chasing the cats that like to scratch him.

And, because this is an unplanned move, he was still working. We knew we had his first tour as Mister Tim (not as moosebutter) set up for August 15-25, so he was dealing with the myriad details that have to be taken care of. In the midst of all the packing, sick kids, traumatized and teary wife, jaunts to the emergency room with terrified and swollen 3-year-old, etc, he also had to do a couple of showcases in Vegas, run a rehearsal with Wonder Voice, record/edit a demo song and then re-record the solo line for broadcast, finalize details for his shows on the tour, add a couple of extra shows in Utah, get the ball rolling for 6 groups to audition for Sing Off (new NBC reality show featuring A Cappella groups in a kind of American Idol format), finish writing and rehearse his new material so the shows on the tour won't be crappy, fight with the computer software that won't quite do what he needs (there is no software written to do exactly what he's doing with music, so he has to cobble together a couple of other things, and sometimes when he gets up on stage, it just doesn't go--even though it just worked half an hour before at home) and deal with dozens of tech issues attached to his new show, find and make sure costumes and sound equipment got to the right places, train a new singer in moosebutter and do a mini-tour out of state with moosebutter, go watch and give feedback to a Colorado vocal band that was showcasing in Vegas (and negotiating a contract to be here)--and get me and the kids in so I knew more fully what we were talking about since we often work as a team on analyzing shows before he gives the feedback they need, and somehow manage to eat and sleep. He was also supposed to be recording a "single" (which actually usually has about 5 songs on it now, in this digital age--it's really just a half-length album) to sell at his shows on this tour, but that didn't get done. And we've recently been restructuring the way he runs his business in hopes it will become less work and more profit, but that entails him starting work on 5 full albums that need to be recorded and produced. We also had scheduled Caleb's baptism at the end of the tour in Utah, so we had to deal with all those details, too.

And all this when he has ADD, which doesn't stop him from being a functioning human being, but does stop him from being able to sustain mental effort on a single project for 2 weeks straight. He runs his business by doing 20-100 things AT ONCE, skipping between projects and working far enough in advance that he still hits the deadlines. And he had a whole load of deadlines this month, and adding moving into the mix doesn't allow him to finish things to meet those deadlines--it's not conducive to putting everything away and just moving any more than my fibromyalgia is.

So we knew the first stop of the Mister Tim tour was a Religious Revival--he had to be there before noon on Sunday, the 16th. It takes 6 hours to drive, and he had to attend TWO performances in Vegas on Saturday night, the 15th.

Exhausted, weary, and Not Done Packing, I was so numb by the time he walked in and said we need to just leave everything and come back after the tour, I kinda just stood there on the edge of tears (but too hot and tired to actually cry) as he spent a couple of hours throwing things into the trailer and shed and begging me to show him what HAD to go into each and what we could leave behind. I think I managed to get clothes and shoes on everyone, and I cleaned the shower and emptied the fridge of things that wouldn't last 2 weeks....and managed to leave the quilting stuff I intended to bring and use to entertain myself at Mom's house. Perhaps I understand in small part how the Saints felt trying to leave Nauvoo in covered wagons in the dead of winter.

And then Tim bustled us into the car. We locked up the house in a state of horrid disorder (I finished 2 rooms completely, even cleaning. I mostly finished 3 other rooms. 2 rooms got done and then unfinished again ,which irked me. And the other rooms are all about 3/4 packed and finished.). Locked the storage unit and the trailer, and left. Tim will go back with a truck or big van and trailer in a couple weeks (we're in the house until September 4 anyway) and get the rest of our stuff, clean, and run a weeks' worth of rehearsals leading up to the September, October, and November tours that are already set up for various groups and for the Sing Off auditions.

Anyway, we drove all night with an overloaded trailer and fussy children, and got to my Mom's house in Lehi well after dawn (the kids loved watching the sun rise). Tim didn't get to sleep. He unloaded car and trailer, found his first costume, dressed and did his hair, and went off to the first gig.

We collapsed into my mom's bed and onto sleeping bags around it at about 10:00 am and slept until 8:00 pm, played with cousins for a few hours, and are ready to collapse into bed again. Tim came home in the midst of that and collapsed into bed himself, and he's still asleep and needs to be for as long as possible so we can hit the next gig--tomorrow night (that one's free, at Tahitian Noni at 7:00, so come. We should be recovered by then!)

I have learned that it is incredibly difficult to face something you know you are bad at an unsuited for in the first place and work your tail off trying to make it happen, and then to realize you are going to fail and have to keep going anyway, pushing through pain and discouragement knowing you'll never succeed. I have much sympathy for children struggling in school now. And for women struggling against depression. And for people with ADD who are being told they must just learn to focus. And for women with fibromyalgia who don't have the luxury I normally do to structure my life around my strengths and completely ignore my weaknesses. And for others of us who are forced to face our handicaps and work without hope of success.

I hate leaving things undone.

As if in consolation, though, in the middle of the "night" I woke up with a fantastic plot for a novel in mind, complete with clever dialogue, fun plot twists, and fairly decent content (extra-plot meaning, depth, character development, etc). That only happens when I am getting enough restorative sleep and when my soul is at ease, so that was a huge good thing--getting a new plot meant that the sleep was freeing my soul from the pains and sorrows of the week, and I could stay free. I haven't dreamt up a new plot in months. Maybe since we moved to Vegas (Vegas has been hard for me).

Writing has always been my escape and my rest and my playground. It gives me a break from the toils and troubles and brings me joy. It's something I can succeed at when all around I am failing--something to look at besides my messy floor and unwashed dishes. So an entirely new plot in mind with interesting characters and dialogue for me is like candy, only more satisfying. It's like soaking up sunshine without getting too hot. It's like getting lost in a good book is for other people. It is delicious food for my soul.

A very welcome blessing that lets me know tomorrow things will be fine.

Because tomorrow, I can write.

Allergies and did I just read that collide....

We've been packing, selling what we could, packing more, packing more...and discouraged because there's seemingly no way to get everything done.

A friend from the ward brought us some home made granola for a treat.

And, at dawn, after we packed all night to avoid the heat (sold the swamp cooler, so now we have to use the semi-functional air conditioner!), Dan ate some.

And his face swelled up, and his lips swelled up, and he got that asthmatic cough and thought something was stuck in his throat, and he got pale and his speech got thick because his tongue was swelling....and I gave him some Benadryl and Tim whisked him off to the Emergency Room, which is where they are right now (they called to say Dan is fine, though).

So, naturally, I looked up "nut allergy" online since my friend who made the granola told me the ingredients, and the only three I never use are walnuts, flax seed, and psyllium.

I found this gem of a sentence on a site about nuts: "The following are not considered nuts: nutmeg, water chestnuts, and butternut squash." (http://www.faiusa.org/?page=treenuts&gclid=COCvx-m6o5wCFSn6agodUQpIWg)

No kidding....

Did I just read that?

From Google News today:

"Coroner Completes Jackson Autopsy, Film Deal Set

ABC News -

‎32 minutes ago‎ -

all 3,114 articles »"

The CORONER gets a film deal? Or did they make a film of the autopsy? Is that why it took so long?

Wow.

I live in the same town as Michael Jackson did when he died, and I home school my kids like he did. Can I get a film deal, too?

Penny Pinching Tips: Get Stuff Free

Finding out about this stuff changed my entire approach to getting things I need. Seriously. I no longer buy furniture. I often see appliances and if mine die I won't look to buy first. I've gotten clothes, shoes, toys, food---free.

How?

Several ways:
There are sites online that link people who want to get rid of stuff to people who want stuff. Craigslist is the biggest national site, although it is more active in some places than others. Some of my friends swear by Freecycle. Family and friends in Utah use KSL's free stuff page. I'm sure there are other sites. The key is to find the one that is most active in your community and use it. Read it daily, and then jump when you see something you need.

Another source of free stuff in some communities is thrift stores that take donations on-site. They often receive stuff they don't or can't sell (like furniture that won't fit on the sales floor, toys when they don't sell toys, pots without lids or lids without pots, ugly art with nice frames, etc). Many of these stores (not including DI--and I can't figure that out!) can't afford the high dump fees to throw all this stuff away, so they put it out for free (often by the back door in a free section inside, or outside near the donations center, or sometimes out beside but not in the dumpster where you can take it until the store closes, when it goes into the dumpster). I do know people who actually dumpster dive thrift stores for the rejected but usable donations, but I don't recommend this because it's illegal in most areas.

In Las Vegas, a major source of free stuff (and recyclable metals for families that collect and sell them) is trash night. I know, it sounds terrible, but it's not. The trash collection in Vegas happens twice a week and isn't automated, so they take just about anything you can put on the curb. So people here put things that other people would truck off to a thrift store as a donation out on the curb for the trash man instead. And other people go wander around just after dark (it never actually gets dark here--it's always just after dusk, all night) on trash nights and collect the usable stuff that nobody wants. We've seen park benches, computer parts, toys, furniture, carpet, appliances, doors, windows--even a "marble" bust and its pedestal.

Another source of free stuff I've found is churches. Many churches have "recycle" or "swap" or "trading table" nights where anyone (not just members of the congregation) can come and bring what they want to get rid of and take what they need or want. It's a great way to get rid of and get baby clothes, housewares, small appliances, books, toys, etc. I was in a ward that did this every Enrichment night, and it was the only time I always went to (and didn't forget) Enrichment. The wealthy people in the ward eventually nixed it (and I stopped going to Enrichment) because they couldn't see any value in it (why would anyone want old used stuff?)--but I think every ward should do this, and then afterward take the leftovers and donate them to an appropriate charity (DI, Savers, the homeless shelter, etc).

If you know of active websites or locations for free stuff (NOT those stupid promotional sites that promise free laptops and are mostly scams, and not sites for free coupons or samples --that's a separate topic--but sites where you can get free real items from real people), post the links in the comments so the list here can become as complete as possible.

Did I just read that?

Necessary background info: UNLV is the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, a large public university.

So this headline is from our local free newspaper that came in the mail today:

"Students earn college credit at UNLV"

Really?

I don't know if this is an insult to the students (most don't earn credit, so it's a miracle someone did?) or to what they're doing at the school ("You mean we don't come here to pole dance?") or to the newspaper ("We didn't realize that was what the university was for!").

Certainly reflects poorly on the editors!

I had to ask, didn't I?

A few days ago I said, "Dare I ask what's next?"

Well, I found out.

We're moving.

This house is too hot and the A/C isn't getting fixed (or even looked at). Rental prices in Vegas have dropped by half in the past 12 months, so we can get a similar place with a bigger yard now for $600-800/month (vs the then-dirt-cheap $1200/month when we got this place). The neighborhood was fine (not great) when we moved in and is going down hill (we've had people arrested basically in our front yard twice, there was that incident with 5 gunshots the other day, we hear sirens every night--and we don't live on a main road or by the hospital or fire station to justify it like we did in Longmont--bunches of houses in the neighborhood are for sale and not selling, and someone stole the ash tray out of our beat up '96 Honda Odyssey--made away with all of 98 cents in pennies and nickels and a key to a car that was sent to the junk yard in Colorado 2 years ago, but I still felt violated. Why would anyone break into a 13-year-old beat up minivan? Seriously!). Um--Bugs. Lots of bugs here. Can't get rid of them. Mystery bugs are becoming a daily experience, and the kids are covered with bug bites (especially tiny painful ones from itsy-bitsy black ants that are vicious and we can't get rid of!). Lots of reasons to bail. Including that blasted carpet I mentioned before. I still hate carpet.

We're trying to pack (Trying, I say, because it's being difficult, with Tim on tour in Utah, Nathanael having developed separation anxiety--when his body is separated from mine, he has anxiety--and a shortage of boxes).

The plan as it stands right now is to chuck our stuff into storage and take an extended vacation to Utah (6 weeks or so) and then return to Vegas to a cheaper house in a better neighborhood with a bigger yard when the weather has cooled off and Tim's currently-in-negotiations contracts here take effect.

But I've learned never to be too set on my own plans. Obviously we'll go with whatever God throws at us and try our best to enjoy it. Whatever it is.

Caleb loves to read

Caleb loves to read so much, he seems always to have a book under his pillow--often a 700+ pager! So what happens if he's well into more than one book?

Observe:




And he did sleep with both of these under his pillows that night!

Did I just read that?

Paragraphs 1-2:
"WASHINGTON — Lynette A. Fromme, who was briefly in the limelight she so craved after pointing a gun at President Gerald R. Ford in 1975, will be released from federal prison on Aug. 16, the federal Bureau of Prisons said on Wednesday. Ms. Fromme, 60, known as Squeaky, has been held in a prison near Fort Worth, Tex., and is due for release because her sentence has expired."

Paragraph 8:
"Ms. Fromme was sentenced to life in prison for attempting to assassinate the president. ... Ms. Fromme got an additional 15 months in prison for escaping." http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/06/us/politics/06fromme.html

Does this mean they're releasing a zombie? That puts a new twist on the Manson family....

I guess according to the federal gavernment, Life + 15 mo = 60 yrs. If that's the case, the Supreme Court is in serious trouble!

Cash for Clunkers

What the government sees in this program is a chance to improve the auto maker's fortunes and the environment at once.

What I see is a bunch of rich people making it much much much harder for us poor folks to be able to get a car in the future (since they are scrapping all the cars that we count on being able to buy for cheap when our current clunker dies). This program was conceived by people who have no concept of what it is like to be poor. (Also no concept that money doesn't grow on trees--and sold to people who don't see they'll be paying more than the rebate amount in increased taxes!)

This is NOT an economically wise move, in terms of making employment accessible to the poor or in terms of being wise with our resources. It's a plan based on the same old "debt is good" economic model that caused the grief we're in now! (Not to mention it takes the people who actually had cash to put into the economy and ties that cash up in a car payment that wasn't on the budget before...hmmmmm....).

It's just a way for rich people to help moderately rich people show off, keep an industry that can't make good products alive, and make themselves feel good for 'doing their part to help the world'.

I can't believe nobody mentioned to them that the worst clunkers are driven by those of us too poor to take advantage of their program. So it just once again widens the gap between the middle class and the poor and guarantees that gap will be wide for a long long time (since the cars they're supposed to be investing in don't last and they got rid of all affordable cars for years to come)...(hey, wait--that might actually LOWER the value of all American-made cars in the long run. How does that help the industry?)

When is someone going to fire the idiots we elected? Or are we really that dumb and greedy that Cash for Clunkers is going to be seen as a good plan?

Meanwhile, if you have a big old van you're thinking about getting rid of, don't Clunkerize it! I'm gonna need a bigger van soon....

Did I Just Read That?

On google news today:

"Blocking Protein May Prevent Premature Labor

U.S. News & World Report - ‎4 hours ago‎

Chimpanzees appear to be the source of malaria in humans, according to a study released Tuesday. Researchers studied malaria in chimps in Cameroon and Ivory Coast and concluded that the parasite that causes malaria in humans likely developed from the ..."

The headline is fine. So is the paragraph. But the combination leaves you saying, "huh?"

How I love words with two opposite meanings.

I was very careful to buy markers for school that said "Washable" on them. I forgot that there are two meanings to that word--removes easily in the wash (washable paint) and withstands washing without being damaged (like washable clothing).

Apparently these markers adhere to the second definition.

The brightly colored patterns Anda put all over her body withstood washing without being damaged in the least!

Did I just read that?"

from a craigslist ad for a singing telegram: "need to get in touch with an employee in Springville Utah who was just in an accident with a dear. (weird huh?)"

At least the boss knows that it's unusual to be in an accident with a dear.

I've said this myself before

http://www.latimes.com/business/la-fi-hiltzik3-2009aug03,0,6650122.column

So that's kind of where I am. Can we trust a government whose bills are being paid by the Insurance Company lobbyists to reform health care? NO.

Does the way the government runs Medicaid make me want them to take over health care? NO.

But until we put doctors, instead of insurance companies, in charge of health care, there's no hope. The insurance companies are more corrupt and more like monopolies than any of the software companies that the government smashes. They are more powerful. And they are payrolling our lawmakers.

We're screwed.

What Dan Likes to Break

Daniel was playing with his toys the other day, and the energy built and built in the game until he was noisily banging things around. Now, I'm totally in favor of the boys playing at saving the world, conquering the bad guys, rescuing people, and generally being heroes. But there is a point where the violence seems to overwhelm every other aspect of play, and I call it there. I don't like my boys to rehearse violence.

So I called out, "Play gently, Dan!"

He immediately protested, "But Mom, I'm breaking the fourth wall!"

Rough Week

Benji put poopy bum-prints on the carpet. Hooray.

Caleb accidentally threw the contents of a full cup of tomato juice across the family room. Yippee.

I decided I will NEVER live in a house with carpet again. Ever. Never ever. And if I buy a house, I'll rip the carpets out and throw them away and live on bare concrete rather than deal with carpets. No matter how much you vacuum, it's never clean (if you don't believe me, pull up your carpet and pad and check out what's lurking underneath.....). And it is a nightmare to clean when kid messes hit it (like vomit. Or blood. Or leaky diapers. Or food. Or spilled bubbles. Or marker. Or paints. or....) I HATE carpet. Worst invention EVER.

Harvesting grapes (we had a huge crop this year) by myself just after dawn after the kids have gone to bed. Heavenly. Until I broke out in hives wherever the grape vines scraped against my skin. And then started into an asthma attack. Benadryl took care of that, but not the hives, which, 5 days later, are still insanely itchy but have resolved themselves into little patches of clustered blisters. Apparently my skin thought I was harvesting poison ivy. Hooray.

And, since I now can't touch the grape vines, I'm watching the skeletonizer moth larvae skeletonizing the leaves, leaving the vines bare. I'm afraid they're going to die. Great.

Did I mention it's hot?

Oh, and the power went out for 2 1/2 hours during the hottest time of day yesterday. So...we had a nice visit to the library. (The upside of this is I got to re-set the open windows and found a better arrangement for the swamp cooler, so the house is now cooler than before. 80 degrees. Now.)

Baby is fussy. Fussy. Yup, still fussy. Teething, methinks.

Does home made scones with honey butter count for dinner? I made a real dinner, but the kids were too interested in the honeybutter to eat anything else.

So now they're fussy, too.

Starter in the car started going. Or, rather, stopped going. Well, it's rather inconsistent of late. Sometimes we go and sometimes we don't.

Rent is uncharacteristically late. (Landlady is a gem, though, and waived the late fee!)

Despite the landlady's generosity, I feel compelled to start packing, and I've learned over the years that if I don't obey that prompting, I regret it. Have any boxes? I know I do somewhere around here.....under the disastrous mess we call a house.....

Any wonder I didn't get any schooling or much writing done this week?


So, dare I ask what's next?