I found these verses while I was studying the scriptures last night:
D&C 42 " 61 If thou shalt ask, thou shalt receive arevelation upon revelation, bknowledge upon knowledge, that thou mayest know the cmysteries and dpeaceable things—that which bringeth ejoy, that which bringeth life eternal." and " 68 Therefore, he that lacketh awisdom, let him ask of me, and I will give him liberally and upbraid him not."
I realized that's what I want.
But unlike Joseph Smith, I didn't know what to ask--only that I lack wisdom in so many many things, and that I want revelations, knowledge, peaceable things, joy--life eternal.
These two verses told me a lot (again--not any of it new, but wonderful to ponder right now) about HOW God loves his children--not from afar, and not as a superior and haughty distant being, but intimately, as a father who is anxious to spend time with his children. Think how much you miss your loved ones when you are apart! That, I think, is a small taste of how God feels with us gone from his home for a short time. It's not that he WANTS to hold stuff back and keep secrets. He wants to give liberally and won't get mad at or mock us for asking.
I realized that the revelations, knowledge, and wisdom we lack and can get answers on are not always about testimony-things, but also about our own personal concerns. Joseph Smith didn't lack wisdom about the nature of God (or rather, he did but he didn't know it). His question was about what church to go to. Yes, it's a religious question. But it's also a very practical question. He wasn't looking for prophetic insight, although that is what he got. He was looking for a straightforward hint to solve an everyday problem he was struggling with.
And suddenly I am aware of a myriad ways I lack wisdom in practical things--How to get prayers said wide awake when the only quiet time in the day is after everyone is asleep--and I'm too weary to keep my own eyes open? How to organize my time and energy? How to deal with the laundry situation? How to deal with feeding my family (which I am, as yet, unsuccessful at in Utah)? How to get my quilt pattern finished so I can start sewing? What on earth to do about homeschooling--I have been ignoring a vague discontent I feel about it?
Because God does care, and he does know, and he can tell us even those things.
(and, by the way, it worked--and tomorrow I will start sewing, and re-doing our homeschool setup).