Did I just read that?

"Courts offer free divorce classes for children" http://www.ksl.com/?nid=148&sid=15997060

Since ALL children need to know how to divorce.....

Did I just read that?

From Boulder Craigslist today: "Free Stuff!!! Kids trucks, Gazelle, Patio furniture, freezer, toddler - (Lyons) pic"




As if Gazelle wasn't surprising enough--toddler?

Adventures on the roof.

Our house is hot.

Not right now. Right now it's about 55 degrees outside and all the windows are open and fans are blowing cool air in and hot air out.

Even all morning, the house stays pretty cool all by itself.

Then, at 2:00 pm, the sun hits the front of the house. We have six big windows on the front of our house. Six. Big ones. And from about 3:00 until the sun goes down, the sunlight blasts the front of the house, heating up all those old, 1970s original single-pane, aluminum windows until the metal will burn your fingers. Between 2:00 and 4:00 pm, the temperature in the house goes up 10-15 degrees, from tolerable to who invited the devil in?

Honestly, the  house feels like an oven all afternoon.

It starts cooling the instant the sun goes down, but it takes all night for it to get really cool in here again--and then we start over.

We've tried a lot of things.

We tried 70% efficient window film. It did make the sunspot on the floor less hot. It also made the window itself even MORE hot, and that radiated into the house. Plus it peeled off.

We tried nailing blankets over the windows. That helped a little.

We tried a heat-proof curtain my aunt bought at a garage sale when she was living here. That worked well, but there's only one and it's 3'x6'--only big enough for one of the bedroom windows. Plus it does let the heat into the house. It just keeps it in the window sill, mostly, but some does leak out into the room around the edges.

We tried a whole-house swamp cooler that's on the roof. Whoever installed it was an idiot--they put in one designed to cool 500 square feet. On a 2200 square foot house. Brilliant. And it wasn't wired properly and started shorting. Plus it was hard to maintain--I even ended up stuck on the roof once when I had a ladder mishap. Plus it was a dumb idea to put a swamp cooler on a flat black roof that has little shade most of the day--so it heats up to about 200 degrees up there in the summer--even the best swamp cooler can't cool 200 degree air to cold enough to cool a house. Swamp cooler fail.

We tried window A/C, but the only windows that can support them are in the front of the house (all the back window open horizontally instead of vertically), and the heat there is so powerful the coolers can hardly compete.

We tried single-room swamp cooler, combined with fans everywhere. It sort of works, but it's designed to cool about 300 square feet. Sigh.

We tried putting drapes in the front windows. That helped a little. But not enough.

We tried elastomeric roof coatings. That helped a little but we needed 3 more coats and ran out of money, and then the roof coating mostly just wore off over the succeeding years. We probably should do this again. And we should probably use elastomeric paint when we paint the house next time (it needs it desperately. This house, as far as I can tell, has never had a new coat of paint--not since it was painted when it was built in 1972).

So, in  the sum total of everything: our house is 80 degrees inside during the day. Unless it's over 85 outside. Then it's 84-85 degrees inside.

That is WAAAYYYYYY too hot to function.

So today I wrapped up my research on what else I could try and came to the conclusion that solar screens, 90% efficient, would be the next best experiment. Lowes sells small rolls (most places you have to buy 100' of it for $300; Lowes sells pieces that are 48" x 84" for $12). So today we went out and bought some.

And then waited until the hot black roof wasn't too hot.

And then I went out there with a hammer, some nails, some scissors, and the solar screens. I climbed through the baby's bedroom window onto the flat garage roof and started working on nailing the screens across the window to the siding of the house (which is all wood) because I didn't have window screen frames and didn't want to build them. And pretty soon I looked down and found three little boys scrambling out the window, and a little girl going out her bedroom window.

Did I mention it was 2:00 am?

Yeah. 3  little boys, ages 2, 4, and 5, on a big flat roof they've been eyeing for months (or years). They didn't manage to stay sitting.  And the baby started crying. And then screaming, just inside the open window on Caleb's lap. So I had little boys running. Baby screaming. Anda asking to come out. On the roof. In the dark. At 2:00 am.

So I got more than a little nervous and more than a little irritated and chased everyone back into the house. Except somehow I ended up sitting on the roof with the baby in my lap. And my 2 year old begging to come back out.

And somehow I managed to climb back in through the window with a baby in my arms.

And Benji immediately scolded me: "Mom! You yelled at my friend Nathie!"

Tim came up and took the baby, distracted the kids, and then sent me back onto the roof to finish. I locked the bedroom door behind me this time and climbed back out. It only took 10 minutes to nail the screens on and trim them to the right size. And I even remembered to leave one loose at the bottom so I could climb back in!

Now we wait to see if it works.

Naturally, it's supposed to be overcast and rainy every afternoon for the rest of the week.....

Things I heard from the kids on the way home

We made it home from Utah.

It is still a long, tedious drive.

In addition to the usual, "How long do we have left?", I heard from the kids:

"I think it might be due to atmospheric distortion and color aberration...." (from 9yo Caleb, about the beautiful sight of the full moon growing brighter right in the band of pink in the sky at sunset) and

"I hope it's close to two-thirds of a half an hour rather than a whole half hour...." (from 7 yo Anda, in response to my saying, "Twenty or thirty minutes more....")

Also, there was quite a lot of random numbers being shouted out as the kids played the new game I invented on the way out: whenever you see a number on a sign or license plate, add the digits and tell us the sum, which Anda introduced to Dan as "a great way to practice our math facts!" in a very happy, excited voice.

I have the greatest kids.

Good reason to nurse babies:

"researchers found that the rate of SIDS was 60 percent lower among infants who had any amount of breastfeeding compared to those who didn't breastfeed, and more than 70 percent lower in infants that been breastfed exclusively - without any formula - for any period of time."

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/06/13/breastfeeding-linked-to-lower-risk-sids/#ixzz1PEmwMhJB

What goes unsaid here is that kind of implicates Formula in SIDS. If babies who drink formula have a 70 percent greater chance of dying from SIDS, why are we still giving formula to children? And why is there no furor about this in the press?

Look at it this way: when scientists discovered that babies who sleep on their backs have a statistically significant lower risk of dying of SIDS, the AAP went all out to basically force parents to make their babies sleep on their backs--even to the point that babies who need to sleep on their tummies in order to sleep aren't "allowed". Parents and babies are getting less sleep, less education about healthy sleep, and having fewer options to make their babies happy. All because of what my doctor said was actually a LESS THAN 1% greater likelihood of a baby dying of SIDS simply from sleeping on its back. LESS than 1%. 

So now we find a 70% chance, and what do we say? NOTHING. 

Why? Because it's too late for moms who didn't breastfeed to start? Because we don't want to hurt the feelings of Moms who really shouldn't breastfeed (like because they need anti-depressants?). Because the makers of formula are too powerful?

Why is the word not spreading on this one?

On the road again...

We're just getting ready to head home from yet another round of touring. We've learned a few things this time:

If we have to drive the singers around, too, it would be better if we had a 15-passenger van than a 7-passenger van (since there are 8 of us anyway). Tim and the singers did a lot of fun stuff me and the kids wanted to do, but no way to join in. Also, given the choice, it would be better to rent them a car than have to share. That was rough.

Trying to do a family vacation and a tour on the same week to the same place SEEMED like a good idea, but it was utterly exhausting. Vacations should be vacations. Work trips should be work trips. And if we come on a work trip, everything is much, much easier if we plan to just sit around all the time doing the same things we do at home. We are all worn completely out.

If the gate is open, you might lose a toddler. Losing a toddler is the scariest feeling EVER. Close the gates.

If you go into a henhouse in the middle of the night and find your 4 yo already hanging out there, it's best if you tell someone else you're both in the barn petting the chicks, or you might get locked in.

For every bad labor story I have personally, there are ones that are much, much worse. MUCH worse.  (I will never again complain about an unwanted natural childbirth of a very much wanted baby.....).

Sometimes one person's ideas can challenge the way I've viewed Shakespeare since I was in fifth grade.

You don't have to finish the hike to enjoy it. (I always want to see where the trail ends. I hate turning around in the middle. But I discovered this time that it's okay to stop and go back.).

I actually know more about the natural world than I realized, and I need to be outdoors with my kids more so I can pass that knowledge along.

1 giant field with hills + 1 curious 4 yo + 1000 fans = nightmare times 10 for mommy.

My kids are finally getting old enough to be really fun to talk to. On one hour-long drive, Caleb and I discussed how rocks are formed, the elements that are the ingredients for everything on earth, biochemistry (he begged to take biochem for 5th grade science! I'm so delighted!), the nature of memory (and we have some very intriguing theories that explain a lot that science is still pondering), how plasma screens work (we didn't know, but we looked it up later), and how amazing it is that computers work when, ultimately, their entire language is made up of two "letters"--on and off--arranged very carefully. Yeah--biochem, the nature of memory, and binary all in one conversation. I was thrilled.

Also learned that Wal-Mart brand dried fruit is one of the best out there. Who would have guessed?

The Dump Truck

Last night, we took the kids to see the moosebutter show. Well, I did. Tim was in the show.

So we had two cars (my sister kindly lent me her van to get the kids there since our van was full of musicians).

After the show and the cleanup, Tim headed off through Provo to take the musicians to their sleeping quarters, and I headed down the freeway toward my sister's house, where we've been sleeping.

Right now, the stretch of I-15 through Provo, UT, is heavily under construction. There are cones everywhere, cement barriers hemming in traffic on both sides so there are no shoulders. There are many many sudden lane shifts, and just enough chaos, especially at night, that if something came up, emergency-wise, your reaction time is cut simply because you can't often see if something is in your lane or not, and it's hard to tell what is constructions work and what is traffic.

So I was driving down the freeway, and suddenly the lane I was in and the one directly to my right (the farthest right lane on the freeway at that point) were full of brake lights. So I slowed down, too, hoping we weren't coming up on a road closure. But no, just a really REALLY slow dump truck. Big, dirty, and just creeping along.

But there was a cement barrier all along beside that lane, with no exits in sight, so the dump truck couldn't be getting off anywhere to get to work. So it was just creeping along, being a nuisance?

As I passed the truck, I saw in front of it a little compact car with its hazards flashing, a single man behind it pushing with all his might. I assume it was his wife steering. Their car was obviously completely dead, and there was no way for them to get off the freeway to safety--no shoulder, no emergency pull off, and a mile to the next exit (or more!).

Behind them, not a nuisance, but a big, ugly, dirty guardian angel, creeping along knowing that if anyone didn't notice the brake lights and smashed into HIM, not much would happen--even at high speeds, a car wouldn't likely propel a heavily-loaded dump truck very far forward, but without him, there was very little chance the poor single small man pushing his car off the freeway would be noticed in time and not killed.

Did I just read that?

As we were walking into the Springville Arts Park for Art City Days, my kids kept sniggering. I finally tuned in to what they were laughing at as I pulled through a gate into the performer parking (which was also the handicapped parking--is that some kind of a hint?).

There was a sign on the fence that said:
                 Smoking
"NO Alcohol
                 Dogs."

I can't reproduce it here using blogger formatting , but you get the idea.

Definitely snigger-worthy.
Any way you imagine them, smoking alcohol dogs are funny. And not allowed in the Arts Park.

And they strike again!

Anda recently discovered that she loves Whoppers candy. So when we saw a box in the ice cream section of the store that said, "Whoppers!" on it, she had to have some for her birthday. So I bought her some for her birthday.

And guess what?

It's not ice cream!

Frozen dairy dessert strikes again!

Yes, Breyers is trying to maximize their profits once again. More sugar, less expense for them (less cream, after all), and they pretend it's "deluxe", what with all that name-brand candy inside. So they charge well over $5 a box. For something that is so cheap to make that, minus the whoppers, the exact same product sells for a dollar a box in other brands.

Nice. For them.

Did I just read that?

This came from a friend of a friend.....but it's got some great math on it!

Did I just read that?

Let's play spot the funny headline!

Screenshot from my laptop today:

No error, though. Just funny.

The story was funny, too, but not so much as the headline suggests: http://www.foxnews.com/world/2011/06/04/hypnotists-on-stage-injury-leaves-three-audience-members-in-trance/?test=latestnews

Drug war?

I read this today:

"Instead of punishing users who the report says "do no harm to others," the commission argues that governments should end criminalization of drug use, experiment with legal models that would undermine organized crime syndicates and offer health and treatment services for drug-users in need.

The commission called for drug policies based on methods empirically proven to reduce crime, lead to better health and promote economic and social development.

Regarding the United States, former Colombian president Cesar Gaviria told The Associated Press by phone that the country should starting thinking about "alternatives."

"We don't see the U.S. evolving in a way that is compatible with our (countries') long-term interests," he said. " Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2011/06/02/white-house-pushes-back-on-report-declaring-war-on-drugs-failure/#ixzz1OAhSRzcP

And what do I think?

A) Anyone who has ever known a drug addict knows that they don't "do no harm to others." Junkies, for example, spend quite a lot of time committing burglary and violent crimes in order to get funds to find their next high. I can't call that "no harm." In addition, drug addicts destroy their families, abuse and neglect their children, end up on welfare because they can't keep a job.....is that No Harm? No. It leaves me immediately wondering what the agenda of the committee is.

Well, they made it clear in the last line.

and B) Columbia stands to make a LOT of money from the drug trade if it becomes legal in the US, and they don't have to handle any of the bad results. Of COURSE they are going to push legality of drugs in the US because we are their major customer, and they want us to stop sending our armies out to attack their biggest tax-revenue producers. Duh. So of course our policies are not in their best long-term interest.

But they ARE in our best long-term interest, and, quite frankly, it isn't our primary responsibility to provide tax money to other governments. We have to do what's right for our country--and it's easy easy easy to see that drugs aren't it.

Did I just read that?

"Though a World Health Organization study concluded cell phones may cause cancer, some are wondering why, if their truly is a link, there not been a significant worldwide increase in brain cancers."  http://abcnews.go.com/US/cellphones-cancer-brain-cancers-spiked/story?id=13737320

Okay, so they might not cause cancer, but apparently THERE might be a link with language skills.

I expect this kind of thing from podunk or foreign websites...but ABC? Seriously, they should know better.

Clarification:

Apparently those of you who get my blog via email got an edited email that made it look like Nathanael swore when he was designing computer games.

That wasn't me inserting four asterisks where four letters had been. I spelled out exactly what he said, and it was a word with two "p"s and two "o"s. I guess feedburner won't burn feeds with that word--maybe it's opposed to words that deal with bodily functions, I guess.  Makes me want to type a real swear word just to see what it does to that.....but I won't. (My kids read this blog, after all....)

To read what he really said, you can look here: http://beccajones.blogspot.com/2011/05/computer-game-design2-year-old-style.html

Also, I've been told the posts get truncated when they arrive via email when you read them on your smart phone. Just fyi.

Did I just read that?

Regarding a rule that would crack down on for-profit colleges (especially ones with high debt among students): "Melanie Sloan of the liberal watchdog group Citizens For Responsibility and Ethics in Washington notes it is "a regulation that would affect only for-profit colleges, not non for-profit colleges."  Rep. Rob Andrews, D-N.J., thinks he may know why. "I think there is a bias against for-profit schools that has informed this rule." "
Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2011/05/27/obama-crackdown-profit-colleges-faces-stiff-resistance/#ixzz1NdhqE2BS

Ya think? That's pretty smart brainwork there. Maybe he's a politician? And she just loves those negatives....

Did I just read that?

"Whiteley said anyone interested in the effort can call him at 303-888-8698 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 303-888-8698 end_of_the_skype_highlighting begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 303-888-8698 end_of_the_skype_highlighting begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 303-888-8698 end_of_the_skype_highlighting or email him at wes@stvraincounty.com."  http://www.timescall.com/news/longmont-local-news/ci_18148993


I think I'll email.

Computer game design....2 year old style

Nathanael has become very interested in computer game design. He's 2 years old, but he's adept at playing Nintendo and computer games--mostly platformers. I'm not that into letting kids play first-person shooters or mmprpgs or anything like that. But he plays Mario games, Kirby games, and Pacman World games with abandon.

Lately, when he's been drawing pictures with crayons, he narrates what he's drawing (which is good because it looks like lines and wobbly shapes to me). "This is the hole Mario falls in. Here is Mario's house. Please draw me a balloon Mario can escape in...."

This afternoon, as I was trying to wake up, I heard a sleepy little Nathanael narrating the intro dialogue to a new game, apparently based on a clean-up game on pbskids with Curious George, but with Nathanael's own twist:

"Yuck! There's poop all over the house! Can you help me clean it up?"

Did I just read that?

I don't think Fox News believes in copy editors:

FIRST line of a story:

"Elizabeth Smart told her kidnapper that she will have a good life despite what he did to her moments before he was sentenced Wednesday to life in prison in the Salt Lake City, Utah federal court."Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/05/25/elizabeth-smart-tells-kidnapper-shell-live-good-life-moments-gets-life-sentence/#ixzz1NPW9reJx

What exactly did he do right before they sentenced him?

Now we'll play "Spot the misplaced apostrophe." Hint:  it isn't in a place where people usually get confused, like its/it's.
Second sentence: "Smart, who spoke briefly in court, told Brian David Mitchell that she know's he knew what he did to her was wrong."

Some random thoughts I don't have the energy to develop right now

Wandering the net and I discovered:

Someone is doing another Mormon Musical. Here's my question: Why is it not only okay, but popular to mock Mormons? And what are they mocking us for? Apparently for believing that life should be happy and that family is important. I guess other people consider that naive? They don't WANT to be happy? Or they really believe it's not actually even possible? I don't get this. If we were ANY other race or religion, this would not be acceptable. But we're Mormon, so it's okay, right? Because we're just going to turn the other cheek?

At the same time, the debate is ongoing: It's not okay to marginalize homosexuals. (But it's okay to not only marginalize, but Mock Mormons? Really?)  I agree with that point--not okay to marginalize human beings. But it's smoke and mirrors. The real debate is freedom of belief--is it possible for two people with diametrically opposed beliefs to co-exist? It's the old irresistible cannonball and immovable post issue, in some ways. This fight is NOT about marginalizing gay people. This fight is about defending our right (on both sides) to believe something someone else finds reprehensible. And, unfortunately, religious people are not allowed to defend their side. Because religion is persona non grata in American life anymore. Why? I don't know.

The issue nobody can talk about because religion is persona non grata is that NOTHING we do is truly going to make the homosexual populace feel happy. They're trying to legislate us into that by legislating out our religions. Banish all the religions. Make the moral minority (under their definition of "moral") the dominant force in America today (vs the majority, who are religious and ALL being marginalized by the press lately), and they still won't be happy. Why? Alma 41:10.

I find it amazingly, sadly ironic that we openly, aggressively condemn other countries for allowing their citizens to persecute people because of their religions. But when it happens here, in the land of the free, we don't just look away. The popular culture (which I don't think actually represents the majority beliefs, but still controls the majority's actions) actually has a "serves them right!" attitude and openly HELPS the persecution instead of condemning it. But only if the persecuted are being persecuted for their religion. Instead of saying, "Hey, knock it off!" we give these people awards!

Other random thought (all the others appear to have been connected after all!):

I find it amusing that we, culturally (not individually), avoid having children and then, when they do come along, basically institutionalize them (in daycares) so we adults can all go out and act like children!

The Peter Pan approach to population ecology isn't sustainable. Culturally, we've got this weird, hedonistic, ego-centric thing going. We've elevated the individual so high in our values that we've not only rejected religion, but basic biology.  We're no longer searching for truth or happiness, but for stimulation of all kinds (physical, mental, etc), even at the expense of happiness, cultural stability, or anything that will give us cultural longevity. Are we all Nero, fiddling while Rome burns?

Free downloads of new songs

Tim is so anxious for people to hear his new stuff that he's willing to give it away free if you'll listen to it and tell him what you think--either a single song or the whole album--in a review (which you can email him, so he's the only one who sees it). He obviously wants to know what you like, but he also wants to know what you don't like. Good, bad, and ugly. He really wants to know.

And he really REALLY wants everyone to listen.

See, we've been having a dickens of a time getting people to listen to the new stuff because everyone is expecting moosebutter. But this couldn't be farther from moosebutter! It's nothing like moosebutter.

So have a listen. Please.

You can listen free here: http://listn.to/MisterTim

or here: http://listn.to/THROAT

or here: http://mistertimdotcom.com/store

And here are instructions for getting it to download free: https://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=115613785190662

If you like it, email Tim or message him on facebook and say so. If your friends would like it, please share!

This is new stuff and it's VERY VERY cool.  All vocal, but it's not "a cappella"--not like you've heard before.

And if you want proof that it's all vocal, come to one of the upcoming shows, in Colorado and Utah, but he's working on booking them everywhere: https://www.facebook.com/MisterTimMusic?sk=events or http://mistertimdotcom.com/shows/calendar for a listing.