Mom gave us some of her food storage because she's leaving on a mission, and the kids pulled out a bag of dried split peas the other day and left them on the counter. So I've been looking at them for a few days.
When Tim gets paid, we usually splurge on something. Used to be going to a Chinese buffet, but that was several children ago. This time, he really wanted an honest-to-goodness ham. They happened to be on sale, so we got ourselves an 11 lb ham and baked it for dinner.
Split peas sitting around, and now I had a ham bone....
So I made split pea soup. I glanced at a bunch of recipes, including lentil soup recipes, and made my own recipe up, and it was my favorite split pea soup ever. Tim loved it, too. In fact, we both liked it so much that we ended up only sharing a single bowlful with the kids and ate the rest ourselves.
So here's my recipe (as much so I don't forget it as because you need it):
Split Pea Soup
1 16 oz bag of dried green split peas, rinsed and picked over
1 ham bone with about 2 c meat left on
1 carrot, peeled and diced (think frozen mixed veggies size, in 1/4 inch cubes)
2 ribs of celery, peeled and cut the same size at the carrots
1 tbsp minced dried onion
1 bay leaf
1 tsp salt (or less or more to taste, depending on the saltiness of the ham)
Pinch of red pepper flakes
Ground Black pepper to taste (but be generous!)
7 c water
Put it all in the crock pot and cook on high until the peas are as soft as you like them (I prefer mushy to the point of not being pea-shaped anymore, and that took about 5 hours). Remove the ham bone. Take the meat off, break or cut into bite-sized chunks, and return the meat to the soup. Remove the bay leaf if you can find it. Stir well and adjust the seasoning (I added more salt and pepper at this point). You can let it sit on low in the crock pot for another hour or so if you want, or serve it right away. Stir well before serving.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Did I just read that?
from ksl.com: " Tabiona Town Councilman Rick Wilberg [said,] "I don't know whether to cry or get mad. I'm ready to stop by the side of the road and slap a horse or something.""
Slap a horse? Really? I can't stop laughing!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Sunday, August 08, 2010
Annual Education Reassessment
Every year about this time I start thinking, "What do we need to learn this year?"
I suppose it's a throwback to my years as a teacher. I taught at a private school and had my students for 2 years in a row (7th and 8th grade), so I couldn't teach the same thing every year. And I was perfectly free to teach anything I wanted each year. My instructions were to teach the kids how to write and how to think.
Since I generally despise the literature that's in textbooks and most English teacher's hearts and shelves, I didn't do much teaching of literature. I did lots of writing and humanities, though. Some grammar. Shakespeare. One year I did calligraphy. One year we did film studies. One year we wrote and produced plays. One year we did design. I think we made paper once.
So every year in August, I had to think, "What am I going to teach this year?" I didn't start until August because I always started the same: Essay Writing. So I knew I had about 3 weeks of lessons ready come school starting. It was after that that mattered.
Since I'm a DIY homeschooler, I don't have a curriculum I know we're going to buy this year and use, so I don't have the lessons laid out for me.
The information is out there to do complete everything free using online resources, including math (thanks to IXL --http://www.ixl.com/--putting a fairly rigorous K-8 Math scope and sequence online in a parent-friendly format). You do have to jump around from site to site to get everything, though. Especially with math.
This year I finally did what I should have done years ago but didn't have the experience to do: I made a K-8 educational plan, listing the subjects and what I wanted the kids to learn in each (working from a master list I made of the subjects and what I eventually wanted covered). So now I'm trying to stop myself from spending HOURS making all the k-8 lessons right now. Why not do it? The web is not a steady, reliable place--I might choose links that don't even exist 5 years from now. Plus I might have a kid who wants to do things faster, slower, or in a different order. Plus next August I can almost guarantee I'll be sitting here doing the same thing I'm doing now.
Still, having a general outline of all the kids' elementary and middle education is kind of a relief. I was starting to wander that "am I covering ANYTHING they need to learn" land. By the time I have my kids graduating from 8th grade, I think I'll have the materials amassed for anyone to educate their children completely free, using the best of the web and in approximately half an hour a day (that's how long it takes us to cover what public schools take 5 hours a day to teach, since they have one teacher trying to educate too many students at once).
In the meantime, I sure get tired of copying and pasting!
I suppose it's a throwback to my years as a teacher. I taught at a private school and had my students for 2 years in a row (7th and 8th grade), so I couldn't teach the same thing every year. And I was perfectly free to teach anything I wanted each year. My instructions were to teach the kids how to write and how to think.
Since I generally despise the literature that's in textbooks and most English teacher's hearts and shelves, I didn't do much teaching of literature. I did lots of writing and humanities, though. Some grammar. Shakespeare. One year I did calligraphy. One year we did film studies. One year we wrote and produced plays. One year we did design. I think we made paper once.
So every year in August, I had to think, "What am I going to teach this year?" I didn't start until August because I always started the same: Essay Writing. So I knew I had about 3 weeks of lessons ready come school starting. It was after that that mattered.
Since I'm a DIY homeschooler, I don't have a curriculum I know we're going to buy this year and use, so I don't have the lessons laid out for me.
The information is out there to do complete everything free using online resources, including math (thanks to IXL --http://www.ixl.com/--putting a fairly rigorous K-8 Math scope and sequence online in a parent-friendly format). You do have to jump around from site to site to get everything, though. Especially with math.
This year I finally did what I should have done years ago but didn't have the experience to do: I made a K-8 educational plan, listing the subjects and what I wanted the kids to learn in each (working from a master list I made of the subjects and what I eventually wanted covered). So now I'm trying to stop myself from spending HOURS making all the k-8 lessons right now. Why not do it? The web is not a steady, reliable place--I might choose links that don't even exist 5 years from now. Plus I might have a kid who wants to do things faster, slower, or in a different order. Plus next August I can almost guarantee I'll be sitting here doing the same thing I'm doing now.
Still, having a general outline of all the kids' elementary and middle education is kind of a relief. I was starting to wander that "am I covering ANYTHING they need to learn" land. By the time I have my kids graduating from 8th grade, I think I'll have the materials amassed for anyone to educate their children completely free, using the best of the web and in approximately half an hour a day (that's how long it takes us to cover what public schools take 5 hours a day to teach, since they have one teacher trying to educate too many students at once).
In the meantime, I sure get tired of copying and pasting!
Friday, August 06, 2010
Strangest thing happened
I've known for years that 4th graders are the target audience for moosebutter.
So now I have my first 4th grader in the family.
And guess what?
Caleb is suddenly a fan of moosebutter.
Who would have guessed?
My own kid!
So now I have my first 4th grader in the family.
And guess what?
Caleb is suddenly a fan of moosebutter.
Who would have guessed?
My own kid!
Monday, August 02, 2010
Did I just read that?
So I got this book for Caleb's birthday from Savers. It's teen fantasy, and derivative of both Harry Potter and the Dark is Rising but I thought Caleb might like it. It's called "The Magickers," by Emily Drake.
Today I picked it up to thumb through, trying to convince Caleb to read it. My usual MO in other people's fiction is to read: the first page, the last 3 pages, a couple of pages in the middle, and then the whole book if those haven't disappointed.
Emily Drake lost me in the FIRST PARAGRAPH. I don't know if this reflects poorly on her, or if it should scare me about the editors at DAW. (Daw is a pretty well-respected fantasy publisher, too!).
It wasn't just that the first line ("The moon hung like a silver lantern in the midnight sky...") read like something from the Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest (worst first lines ever: http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/). It was this line that really stopped me short, right there in the first paragraph: "His sneakers sank with every step, and he pulled his T-shirt closer around him as the sea mist fell like a cold, cold rain."
Did I just read that? For real?
What kind of T-shirts does the author (and her character) wear? T-shirts don't work like that! I'm trying to imagine pulling a T-shirt closer around you, and I really can't visualize that. Plus, I'm not convinced she's ever been in a sea mist. By definition, mists cannot fall like rain. They are MIST. She might mean the spray from the waves battering the rocks? Maybe? Or the sea mist settled onto his skin like an icy rain? Just not quite sure how that one got past the editors.
Reading JUST THE FIRST PARAGRAPH, I understood two things I hear from agents all the time (on their blogs): 1. You can usually tell within the first paragraph if a book is going to work or not, and 2. Don't start with a dream sequence.
It was apparent to me by the end of the first paragraph that what I was reading was a dream sequence. And you know what? I skipped it. I don't want to know that stuff right up front. I want to jump right into the real story, not the character's hangups. So now I understand why agents beg new writers not to start with a dream sequence.
Still, I bought the thing, so I was determined to give it a second chance. So we skip to the last two pages, and almost the first thing I read was this gem: "He didn't think civilization had ever reached into this place. A rough lane ran down the hills and into a valley...."
So if civilization had never reached into that place, why was there a ROAD there? Hmmmm?
She goes on, "...and a great, dark gray mountain towered above the scene. A waterfall pierced its side, waters tumbling down in a crystalline spray from impossible heights and foaming into a pool of darkest blue."
What she's describing here is a fantasy painting. She's apparently never seen a real mountain towering above any scene, or she would know this description is Picasso-esque in its perspective--seeing the road running down the hills, and the towering mountain, but also the waterfall AND the pool at the bottom? The perspective is flattened and twisted, showing you everything all at once, described by someone who has seen paintings of large mountains but never stood at the foot of one and really looked at it.
Next page (the very last in the book): "He was too far away to see the details of its scaly form, but not too far to see the ebony sharpness of the claws it stretched out and raked into the ground."
So which is it? Too far for detail or not? Because if you can't see the detail of the FORM (like, the shape of the dragon....), how on earth can you see the claws? Unless the claws are bigger than the dragon..... He also sees its teeth. Claws and teeth--sounds like details of its form to me!
There was at least one other gaffe I found when I read the "couple of pages in the middle" that I randomly opened to and that I can't find now, and a mythos explained that supposedly justifies all the warring and battles and history of magic in this book--and it was wholly unconvincing. There was no power or appeal to it--no emotional reason to be involved or to care.
And there was a slew of errors that an astute writer or a half-decent copy editor should have caught, like pronouns with indefinite antecedents. A character smooths the strings of her dulcimer in one paragraph and smooths her skirt "again" in the next.
It actually gives me hope. This is a PUBLISHED book, after all. And I can do better than that! Maybe not as a writer--I'm too close to my words to evaluate that--but I could at LEAST get a job as an editor some day!
PS: I found the one I lost: "The porch itself creaked as if the wind could walk over it."
What on earth does THAT mean?!
Today I picked it up to thumb through, trying to convince Caleb to read it. My usual MO in other people's fiction is to read: the first page, the last 3 pages, a couple of pages in the middle, and then the whole book if those haven't disappointed.
Emily Drake lost me in the FIRST PARAGRAPH. I don't know if this reflects poorly on her, or if it should scare me about the editors at DAW. (Daw is a pretty well-respected fantasy publisher, too!).
It wasn't just that the first line ("The moon hung like a silver lantern in the midnight sky...") read like something from the Bulwer-Lytton fiction contest (worst first lines ever: http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/). It was this line that really stopped me short, right there in the first paragraph: "His sneakers sank with every step, and he pulled his T-shirt closer around him as the sea mist fell like a cold, cold rain."
Did I just read that? For real?
What kind of T-shirts does the author (and her character) wear? T-shirts don't work like that! I'm trying to imagine pulling a T-shirt closer around you, and I really can't visualize that. Plus, I'm not convinced she's ever been in a sea mist. By definition, mists cannot fall like rain. They are MIST. She might mean the spray from the waves battering the rocks? Maybe? Or the sea mist settled onto his skin like an icy rain? Just not quite sure how that one got past the editors.
Reading JUST THE FIRST PARAGRAPH, I understood two things I hear from agents all the time (on their blogs): 1. You can usually tell within the first paragraph if a book is going to work or not, and 2. Don't start with a dream sequence.
It was apparent to me by the end of the first paragraph that what I was reading was a dream sequence. And you know what? I skipped it. I don't want to know that stuff right up front. I want to jump right into the real story, not the character's hangups. So now I understand why agents beg new writers not to start with a dream sequence.
Still, I bought the thing, so I was determined to give it a second chance. So we skip to the last two pages, and almost the first thing I read was this gem: "He didn't think civilization had ever reached into this place. A rough lane ran down the hills and into a valley...."
So if civilization had never reached into that place, why was there a ROAD there? Hmmmm?
She goes on, "...and a great, dark gray mountain towered above the scene. A waterfall pierced its side, waters tumbling down in a crystalline spray from impossible heights and foaming into a pool of darkest blue."
What she's describing here is a fantasy painting. She's apparently never seen a real mountain towering above any scene, or she would know this description is Picasso-esque in its perspective--seeing the road running down the hills, and the towering mountain, but also the waterfall AND the pool at the bottom? The perspective is flattened and twisted, showing you everything all at once, described by someone who has seen paintings of large mountains but never stood at the foot of one and really looked at it.
Next page (the very last in the book): "He was too far away to see the details of its scaly form, but not too far to see the ebony sharpness of the claws it stretched out and raked into the ground."
So which is it? Too far for detail or not? Because if you can't see the detail of the FORM (like, the shape of the dragon....), how on earth can you see the claws? Unless the claws are bigger than the dragon..... He also sees its teeth. Claws and teeth--sounds like details of its form to me!
There was at least one other gaffe I found when I read the "couple of pages in the middle" that I randomly opened to and that I can't find now, and a mythos explained that supposedly justifies all the warring and battles and history of magic in this book--and it was wholly unconvincing. There was no power or appeal to it--no emotional reason to be involved or to care.
And there was a slew of errors that an astute writer or a half-decent copy editor should have caught, like pronouns with indefinite antecedents. A character smooths the strings of her dulcimer in one paragraph and smooths her skirt "again" in the next.
It actually gives me hope. This is a PUBLISHED book, after all. And I can do better than that! Maybe not as a writer--I'm too close to my words to evaluate that--but I could at LEAST get a job as an editor some day!
PS: I found the one I lost: "The porch itself creaked as if the wind could walk over it."
What on earth does THAT mean?!
Sunday, August 01, 2010
This guy knows what he's talking about
http://www.pnwlocalnews.com/east_king/red/community/99496189.html
Some day I think I'd like to design curricula for gifted children. Not many people have the skills to design curricula and also understand gifted kids. Usually "gifted" programs actually just double the busy work.
Instead, I want to, say, have a curriculum for Caleb that has college-level readings, 8th-grade-level discussion questions, and single-sentence to single-paragraph writing responses (since at least some of my gifted brood balk at the idea of handwriting anything!).
Really, there are plenty of materials out there for math/science gifted kids, but almost nothing for verbal/social studies gifted kids. We need a computer-based lesson on Greek/Latin/Germanic roots of words that is adult-level information, with a 5-9 yo sense of humor, and cute little cartoon characters to go with it. You can't find that out there right now!
And nobody's ever going to make it commercially because it isn't commercially viable. We're talking about making stuff that's appealing to one in 300,000 kids (or some ridiculous number like that!). Plus, gifted kids are so individual, what appeals to one might not appeal to another. So it might be an impossible task.
Part of me says "normal kids would value that, too," but I realize that I might not know any normal kids well enough to know that. All my friends are gifted, too, and all their kids are. And I've found that every child I have ever interacted with responds well to the particular ways you have to learn to treat gifted kids, so it's hard for me to know what "normal" is.
Still, I can dream, can't I?
Some day I think I'd like to design curricula for gifted children. Not many people have the skills to design curricula and also understand gifted kids. Usually "gifted" programs actually just double the busy work.
Instead, I want to, say, have a curriculum for Caleb that has college-level readings, 8th-grade-level discussion questions, and single-sentence to single-paragraph writing responses (since at least some of my gifted brood balk at the idea of handwriting anything!).
Really, there are plenty of materials out there for math/science gifted kids, but almost nothing for verbal/social studies gifted kids. We need a computer-based lesson on Greek/Latin/Germanic roots of words that is adult-level information, with a 5-9 yo sense of humor, and cute little cartoon characters to go with it. You can't find that out there right now!
And nobody's ever going to make it commercially because it isn't commercially viable. We're talking about making stuff that's appealing to one in 300,000 kids (or some ridiculous number like that!). Plus, gifted kids are so individual, what appeals to one might not appeal to another. So it might be an impossible task.
Part of me says "normal kids would value that, too," but I realize that I might not know any normal kids well enough to know that. All my friends are gifted, too, and all their kids are. And I've found that every child I have ever interacted with responds well to the particular ways you have to learn to treat gifted kids, so it's hard for me to know what "normal" is.
Still, I can dream, can't I?
Saturday, July 31, 2010
When did I turn into one of "those" moms?
Homeschooling.
I make all our bread from scratch.
Wary of chemicals, preservatives, dye.
And now considering having my next baby at home?
When did I turn into one of "those" moms?
None of these were "cultural" decisions, though. To me, they are well-thought-out decisions that might fly in the face of popular culture, but I feel like I have good reasons.
So why a home birth?
Well, I've had 5 in the hospital, and I started thinking about my experiences. I made a mental list of all the things I am NOT looking forward to.
First of all, I am pretty set against having an epidural this time. I've had five so far. ALL 5 had side effects I didn't anticipate and didn't like, ranging from severely swollen feet for a week to a spinal headache for a week (and another they patched). One epidural left me getting shots to keep my heart going and put my baby in the NICU for 24 hours. Two of them left me with numb spots on my lower body that didn't regain their sensation for six full months (so I'm a little worried about permanent nerve damage). The recovery at the epidural site for at least 3 of my babies was actually months longer than the recovery from the childbirth. Plus I end up having to get pitocin after every epidural, and usually the epidurals don't take evenly all over my body, which leaves me either dead numb on one side, or feeling things on the other. At this point, I'm more afraid of the epidural than the labor pains, so I've decided to try a natural childbirth. If I could get a legitimate walking epidural, I'd probably change my mind. I actually really like how it works when the epidural has almost taken effect--I can feel everything but the pain in my belly, and I can still walk and shift my position, etc.
Besides, I've noticed over and over that women who have natural childbirths recover a lot faster than women who have epidurals.
So what else am I dreading?
The IV--it interferes with my ability to move around during labor, gets in the way of nursing and bonding with my baby after its born, and hurts the whole time I have it. Plus the IV site hurts longer than anything involved in the actual childbirth. And having a needle constantly sticking into me makes me woozy.
The hospital beds--the beds, plus the lack of ability to squirm around when you're in labor and having a baby, leaves me with no comfortable place to be. For someone else, this might be a minor discomfort. For me, it triggers and then exacerbates fibromyalgia pain to the point that it's screaming. The fibro pain is actually worse than any labor pains I've felt so far, and being forced to stay in the bed (they "SAY" you can walk around, but they really don't want to clean up the mess, actually, so they panic if you get out of bed) makes it much worse. I am in severe, screaming fibro pain the entire time I'm in the hospital, with no relief (because pain meds don't touch fibro pain in most cases). I dread this more than anything else--especially since this has been a bad fibro pregnancy anyway, and I already am only marginally functional. When Fibro is flaring, contact of any sort can be painful, and staying in one position is excruciating, and I recover slowly from injury (for example, I had my blood drawn 3 days ago for my pregnancy labs, and my whole arm still aches and the needle site hurts, too). So I need to be in an environment where I am in as much control as possible of everything around me that touches my body or my senses (including lights and sound)--and hospitals don't give you that.
No sleep. Thus far, with every baby, I've literally had a couple of hours of sleep for the entire 32-50 hours I'm in the hospital. Right after you have a baby, the thing you need MOST is sleep. Everyone complains about not getting sleep in the hospital. Try doing it with a sleep disorder! My "night" is from 4:00 am until 2:00 pm. During that time, the hospital always asks me to talk to pediatricians, make important decisions, eat meals, evaluate my pain levels, get a massage, and just generally be awake. The day nurses are required to do things like take your blood pressure every 2 hours. All "night."
Wires and tubes interfering with my ability to nurse, care for a new baby, etc. They leave that stupid blood pressure cuff on, pinching my arm every so often, for 24 hours. Plus IV tubes, catheters, etc. It really gets in the way! And they are so patronizing if you complain, and they panic if you just refuse to keep them on--I've had nurses bully me. I thought I was a grown up?
The high beds and high bassinets. I can't get out of bed to get the baby after it's born. I can't get back into bed. I can't reach the baby from my bed. I can't safely put the baby in bed with me to nurse it. There is no comfortable chair to settle into to receive visitors and nurse.
Worrying about the kids a) running off and getting lost or b) breaking things when they come visit the hospital.
The food. Hospitals always want me to eat inedible food or food I really am not interested in. After a baby is born, I want popsicles, applesauce, juice, sorbet, etc. I don't want to be pressured into eating stuff that sounds yucky or be criticized for not doing so. I don't want to be in trouble for wanting food at the "wrong hours" or have my dinner taken away because it wasn't eat by 7:00 pm when I eat dinner at midnight on a normal day. Actually, most of my meals get taken away because they want me to eat two of them in the middle of my night, and one right when my kids want to visit.
I always worry about the kids having to be with a babysitter for 24-48 hours. We run our lives so different from most people, it's traumatic for the kids to be with a "normal" person for a long time like that. Not only that, then a "stranger" sees our house and our lives for what they are (and that's hard on me, especially since we have had no family in the state for most of our babies).
I hate the medical interventions when none are called for. I hate having nurses check my progress in the middle of a contraction without my permission. I hate that they always want to put an internal monitor on the baby--a needle in the baby's scalp, which hurts the baby (even though they say it doesn't, it does. I feel that kick.)
I hate having to ask permission to do things like go potty. Sheesh. There is no dignity in childbirth.
Oh, and labor pain. I'm dreading that.
So I looked over the list and realized that 90% of what I am dreading about having a baby is actually the HOSPITAL, not the birth of a baby. Then I looked at the complications we've had in the past, and, while two of the babies were in distress and really needed to be induced in a hospital setting, most of the complications we've had were actually caused by the medical interventions in the hospital (specifically, the epidural).
So I started looking into home birth. I would still have to clean the house, but at least a midwife is used to alternative lifestyles! I would still have to do the labor and delivery pain--and with no option to back out like I'd have in the hospital. But I could control my own fibro, schedule, and food. I could stay in a comfortable environment. I think it would be a better experience and, more importantly, the recovery would be faster. Plus the hospital is literally right around the corner, so if there was a problem, the midwife would be able to send me over there without any problem.
So we're asking the questions. Where would I want to labor and deliver in the house? Water birth, or no? What to do with the other five kids? Could we find a midwife that would let us trade for services since we can't afford $3000 and medicaid doesn't cover home births--and what would we trade? Can I have quite a lot of control over things with a midwife--or do I have to do the whole homeopathy/energy medicine thing, too, which I don't believe in? Can I get a midwife to hurry things along--strip my membranes and then break my water--like a doctor will, or will they really let me sit in labor for 47 hours or pregnant for 42 weeks, neither of which I'm in favor of? What of the care babies get in the hospital is really important (like the vitamin K shot?), so would we be missing any of that care? What about screenings babies get in the hospital? How do you get a birth certificate for a home birth?
Most of those questions a midwife could answer easily. I just need to start meeting them, I think, and pick one I like, and then go from there.
So yeah, I guess I'm one of THOSE moms.
I make all our bread from scratch.
Wary of chemicals, preservatives, dye.
And now considering having my next baby at home?
When did I turn into one of "those" moms?
None of these were "cultural" decisions, though. To me, they are well-thought-out decisions that might fly in the face of popular culture, but I feel like I have good reasons.
So why a home birth?
Well, I've had 5 in the hospital, and I started thinking about my experiences. I made a mental list of all the things I am NOT looking forward to.
First of all, I am pretty set against having an epidural this time. I've had five so far. ALL 5 had side effects I didn't anticipate and didn't like, ranging from severely swollen feet for a week to a spinal headache for a week (and another they patched). One epidural left me getting shots to keep my heart going and put my baby in the NICU for 24 hours. Two of them left me with numb spots on my lower body that didn't regain their sensation for six full months (so I'm a little worried about permanent nerve damage). The recovery at the epidural site for at least 3 of my babies was actually months longer than the recovery from the childbirth. Plus I end up having to get pitocin after every epidural, and usually the epidurals don't take evenly all over my body, which leaves me either dead numb on one side, or feeling things on the other. At this point, I'm more afraid of the epidural than the labor pains, so I've decided to try a natural childbirth. If I could get a legitimate walking epidural, I'd probably change my mind. I actually really like how it works when the epidural has almost taken effect--I can feel everything but the pain in my belly, and I can still walk and shift my position, etc.
Besides, I've noticed over and over that women who have natural childbirths recover a lot faster than women who have epidurals.
So what else am I dreading?
The IV--it interferes with my ability to move around during labor, gets in the way of nursing and bonding with my baby after its born, and hurts the whole time I have it. Plus the IV site hurts longer than anything involved in the actual childbirth. And having a needle constantly sticking into me makes me woozy.
The hospital beds--the beds, plus the lack of ability to squirm around when you're in labor and having a baby, leaves me with no comfortable place to be. For someone else, this might be a minor discomfort. For me, it triggers and then exacerbates fibromyalgia pain to the point that it's screaming. The fibro pain is actually worse than any labor pains I've felt so far, and being forced to stay in the bed (they "SAY" you can walk around, but they really don't want to clean up the mess, actually, so they panic if you get out of bed) makes it much worse. I am in severe, screaming fibro pain the entire time I'm in the hospital, with no relief (because pain meds don't touch fibro pain in most cases). I dread this more than anything else--especially since this has been a bad fibro pregnancy anyway, and I already am only marginally functional. When Fibro is flaring, contact of any sort can be painful, and staying in one position is excruciating, and I recover slowly from injury (for example, I had my blood drawn 3 days ago for my pregnancy labs, and my whole arm still aches and the needle site hurts, too). So I need to be in an environment where I am in as much control as possible of everything around me that touches my body or my senses (including lights and sound)--and hospitals don't give you that.
No sleep. Thus far, with every baby, I've literally had a couple of hours of sleep for the entire 32-50 hours I'm in the hospital. Right after you have a baby, the thing you need MOST is sleep. Everyone complains about not getting sleep in the hospital. Try doing it with a sleep disorder! My "night" is from 4:00 am until 2:00 pm. During that time, the hospital always asks me to talk to pediatricians, make important decisions, eat meals, evaluate my pain levels, get a massage, and just generally be awake. The day nurses are required to do things like take your blood pressure every 2 hours. All "night."
Wires and tubes interfering with my ability to nurse, care for a new baby, etc. They leave that stupid blood pressure cuff on, pinching my arm every so often, for 24 hours. Plus IV tubes, catheters, etc. It really gets in the way! And they are so patronizing if you complain, and they panic if you just refuse to keep them on--I've had nurses bully me. I thought I was a grown up?
The high beds and high bassinets. I can't get out of bed to get the baby after it's born. I can't get back into bed. I can't reach the baby from my bed. I can't safely put the baby in bed with me to nurse it. There is no comfortable chair to settle into to receive visitors and nurse.
Worrying about the kids a) running off and getting lost or b) breaking things when they come visit the hospital.
The food. Hospitals always want me to eat inedible food or food I really am not interested in. After a baby is born, I want popsicles, applesauce, juice, sorbet, etc. I don't want to be pressured into eating stuff that sounds yucky or be criticized for not doing so. I don't want to be in trouble for wanting food at the "wrong hours" or have my dinner taken away because it wasn't eat by 7:00 pm when I eat dinner at midnight on a normal day. Actually, most of my meals get taken away because they want me to eat two of them in the middle of my night, and one right when my kids want to visit.
I always worry about the kids having to be with a babysitter for 24-48 hours. We run our lives so different from most people, it's traumatic for the kids to be with a "normal" person for a long time like that. Not only that, then a "stranger" sees our house and our lives for what they are (and that's hard on me, especially since we have had no family in the state for most of our babies).
I hate the medical interventions when none are called for. I hate having nurses check my progress in the middle of a contraction without my permission. I hate that they always want to put an internal monitor on the baby--a needle in the baby's scalp, which hurts the baby (even though they say it doesn't, it does. I feel that kick.)
I hate having to ask permission to do things like go potty. Sheesh. There is no dignity in childbirth.
Oh, and labor pain. I'm dreading that.
So I looked over the list and realized that 90% of what I am dreading about having a baby is actually the HOSPITAL, not the birth of a baby. Then I looked at the complications we've had in the past, and, while two of the babies were in distress and really needed to be induced in a hospital setting, most of the complications we've had were actually caused by the medical interventions in the hospital (specifically, the epidural).
So I started looking into home birth. I would still have to clean the house, but at least a midwife is used to alternative lifestyles! I would still have to do the labor and delivery pain--and with no option to back out like I'd have in the hospital. But I could control my own fibro, schedule, and food. I could stay in a comfortable environment. I think it would be a better experience and, more importantly, the recovery would be faster. Plus the hospital is literally right around the corner, so if there was a problem, the midwife would be able to send me over there without any problem.
So we're asking the questions. Where would I want to labor and deliver in the house? Water birth, or no? What to do with the other five kids? Could we find a midwife that would let us trade for services since we can't afford $3000 and medicaid doesn't cover home births--and what would we trade? Can I have quite a lot of control over things with a midwife--or do I have to do the whole homeopathy/energy medicine thing, too, which I don't believe in? Can I get a midwife to hurry things along--strip my membranes and then break my water--like a doctor will, or will they really let me sit in labor for 47 hours or pregnant for 42 weeks, neither of which I'm in favor of? What of the care babies get in the hospital is really important (like the vitamin K shot?), so would we be missing any of that care? What about screenings babies get in the hospital? How do you get a birth certificate for a home birth?
Most of those questions a midwife could answer easily. I just need to start meeting them, I think, and pick one I like, and then go from there.
So yeah, I guess I'm one of THOSE moms.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Benji's Logic
Benji: "I need a diaper."
Me: "You don't need a diaper. You can pee in the potty. You're big. Just like Dad. He pees in the potty."
Benji: "I not Dad. I Benji. I need a diaper."
Me: "You don't need a diaper. You can pee in the potty. You're big. Just like Dad. He pees in the potty."
Benji: "I not Dad. I Benji. I need a diaper."
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Did I just read that?
These typos cracked me up. From Denver Craigslist today: "WE ARE HIRING PERFORMERS , for private parties skate boarders ,acrovats,magitians, actors give us a call for more info ,send picture and contac information and a description of your experience as performer " http://denver.craigslist.org/evg/1869228132.html
I wonder what show an acrovat might put on? Magitian?
(Gosh, I 'm so mean!)
I wonder what show an acrovat might put on? Magitian?
(Gosh, I 'm so mean!)
First Dr. Appt, baby number 6
I'm not so faithful at going to the OB now that I've had a few babies. But I did better with this baby than the last one. Last time I didn't go in until 30 weeks. This time, I went in at 20.
Officially: Baby is due Dec 15.
Baby has a heartbeat.
Baby hates the doppler wand pushing on it, and moved away as much and as quickly as possible.
Baby is measuring 2 weeks ahead, which I guessed (I've had all the milestones happening 2 weeks ahead all along).
Ultrasound on Aug 10 to find out if it's a boy or a girl. Everyone's votes so far are coming in girl because I was so sick for so long.
We shall see.
Officially: Baby is due Dec 15.
Baby has a heartbeat.
Baby hates the doppler wand pushing on it, and moved away as much and as quickly as possible.
Baby is measuring 2 weeks ahead, which I guessed (I've had all the milestones happening 2 weeks ahead all along).
Ultrasound on Aug 10 to find out if it's a boy or a girl. Everyone's votes so far are coming in girl because I was so sick for so long.
We shall see.
Nine years of motherhood
Nine years of motherhood, and what have I learned? Lots of stuff, including.....
That 3 year olds sometimes want you to undo actions that can't be undone.
That 8 year olds really are different from 7 year olds.
That most things pass on their own, and too much effort on my part can complicate things.
That problems (especially behavior ones) should be dealt with swiftly and early--little problems are easier to solve than big problems.
That the more natural food you feed your kid, the calmer your family life is.
That it's extremely frustrating being powerless, and kids appreciate it when you recognize that (especially when they can't even tell you what they want!).
That kids' impressions of, feelings toward, and treatment of other people is a reflection of your feelings, impressions, and actions, even when the kids get big. If you want your kids to treat their father kindly and with respect, perhaps you should, too! If you want them to listen to you, perhaps you should listen to them.
That if you want your kid to have a testimony, you have to let them get it the same way everyone does (scriptures and prayers!).
That sometimes the mud is worth it. No--most of the time.
That you really don't need a TV. But sometimes putting on another video really is a lifesaver.
That a messy floor isn't the end of the world.
That kids understand and are trying to communicate from before birth, and they value people who recognize that (even when they're 2 months old).
That a tired mom is grouchy.
That a happy mom is a better mom, so it's a service for everyone in the family if I put myself first in some ways and make myself happy (by eating things I like, by taking time to write, by playing or resting when I need, and by not being a slave to my environment or my assumption of others' expectations of me).
That 3 1/2 year olds are easier to potty train than 2 year olds.
That kids learn at their own pace--and you should let them.
That lots of kids means more time for me--they entertain each other so I don't have to!
That a rocking chair and a lap are better treatments for problems than almost anything else, including "discipline."
That ice cream first, dinner second is the proper order of things when everyone is falling apart and fighting.
That when a kid is really misbehaving or falling apart, they are unhappy and need your love and hugs more than a swift kick in the butt, even though the kick is the most natural response.
That reasoning trumps behaviorism for long-term results in kids.
That kids do actually learn to sleep through the night without being "taught" or forced, and without tears.
That gross is a lot less gross than it used to be.
That I can't do everything--and it turns out it's not important to.
That smart kids make messy houses. Or is it the other way 'round?
That kids want to hear stories from my past.
That kids learn respect from being respected, not from being forced to fear.
That kids naturally like to work--when the project has value or interest to them. The trick is to make things valuable and interesting, not to "teach them to work."
That kids enjoy me feeling excited about things and loving things and having interests and talents--even if they are different from the kids' own interests and talents.
That messes don't really matter as much as we think our neighbors think they do.
That there are more moms with messy houses than moms with clean houses, but we all pretend it's the other way 'round.
That kids learn responsibility by a) observation of their parents and b) allowing natural consequences of things (and I don't mean the natural consequence that I imposed on you), and that reasoning, respect, and responsibility are all tied together and best not forcefully and falsely imposed on children.
That I really can be more patient than anyone ever thought I could be (including me!).
That my kids and your kids are different, so my way and your way of mothering are different, and that's how it should be.
That emotional honesty (with yourself and your children) has far better results than anything else.
That God cares about my kids more than I do, and He will help with this whole mothering thing.
That kids are worth more than any job or any success I ever aspired to (or had), and that I never would have guessed how fun and satisfying being a mom is.
That 3 year olds sometimes want you to undo actions that can't be undone.
That 8 year olds really are different from 7 year olds.
That most things pass on their own, and too much effort on my part can complicate things.
That problems (especially behavior ones) should be dealt with swiftly and early--little problems are easier to solve than big problems.
That the more natural food you feed your kid, the calmer your family life is.
That it's extremely frustrating being powerless, and kids appreciate it when you recognize that (especially when they can't even tell you what they want!).
That kids' impressions of, feelings toward, and treatment of other people is a reflection of your feelings, impressions, and actions, even when the kids get big. If you want your kids to treat their father kindly and with respect, perhaps you should, too! If you want them to listen to you, perhaps you should listen to them.
That if you want your kid to have a testimony, you have to let them get it the same way everyone does (scriptures and prayers!).
That sometimes the mud is worth it. No--most of the time.
That you really don't need a TV. But sometimes putting on another video really is a lifesaver.
That a messy floor isn't the end of the world.
That kids understand and are trying to communicate from before birth, and they value people who recognize that (even when they're 2 months old).
That a tired mom is grouchy.
That a happy mom is a better mom, so it's a service for everyone in the family if I put myself first in some ways and make myself happy (by eating things I like, by taking time to write, by playing or resting when I need, and by not being a slave to my environment or my assumption of others' expectations of me).
That 3 1/2 year olds are easier to potty train than 2 year olds.
That kids learn at their own pace--and you should let them.
That lots of kids means more time for me--they entertain each other so I don't have to!
That a rocking chair and a lap are better treatments for problems than almost anything else, including "discipline."
That ice cream first, dinner second is the proper order of things when everyone is falling apart and fighting.
That when a kid is really misbehaving or falling apart, they are unhappy and need your love and hugs more than a swift kick in the butt, even though the kick is the most natural response.
That reasoning trumps behaviorism for long-term results in kids.
That kids do actually learn to sleep through the night without being "taught" or forced, and without tears.
That gross is a lot less gross than it used to be.
That I can't do everything--and it turns out it's not important to.
That smart kids make messy houses. Or is it the other way 'round?
That kids want to hear stories from my past.
That kids learn respect from being respected, not from being forced to fear.
That kids naturally like to work--when the project has value or interest to them. The trick is to make things valuable and interesting, not to "teach them to work."
That kids enjoy me feeling excited about things and loving things and having interests and talents--even if they are different from the kids' own interests and talents.
That messes don't really matter as much as we think our neighbors think they do.
That there are more moms with messy houses than moms with clean houses, but we all pretend it's the other way 'round.
That kids learn responsibility by a) observation of their parents and b) allowing natural consequences of things (and I don't mean the natural consequence that I imposed on you), and that reasoning, respect, and responsibility are all tied together and best not forcefully and falsely imposed on children.
That I really can be more patient than anyone ever thought I could be (including me!).
That my kids and your kids are different, so my way and your way of mothering are different, and that's how it should be.
That emotional honesty (with yourself and your children) has far better results than anything else.
That God cares about my kids more than I do, and He will help with this whole mothering thing.
That kids are worth more than any job or any success I ever aspired to (or had), and that I never would have guessed how fun and satisfying being a mom is.
Survived another birthday
My oldest child turned 9 today.
That means I've been a mom for 9 years.
That's weird.
I got him a pocket knife. Seemed like a completely reasonable thing for a 9 year old to own. But then the lady at the store said I had to be over 18 to purchase it, and my other kids found it in the presents we were wrapping and they made me ask Daddy if it's okay to give to a 9 year old. Guess it's a different world than it used to be. I thought 9 years old was actually a little old for a first pocket knife!
We also got him a bunch of books (mostly classic children's lit like "Dr. Doolittle" and "the Book of Three". He was excited to discover that "Homeward Bound" was actually a book first, and that we'd give that one to him, too). Reading lights. A laptop we got free and my brother (computer whiz!) made work despite the crashed hard drive. You know, stuff. When Tim said, "Here's a box for your toys," to Caleb, Anda (7 yo) piped up with, "They aren't toys, Dad. They're real." I guess 9 years old is too old for toys, even if they're magic sets and juggling balls.
And we survived another birthday. Balloons. Decorations. A cake. Blew out the candles only twice this time. One candle self-destructed, flaming huge and melting itself to nothing while we sang. I've never seen that happen before! No tears, to speak of. Hooray. Plus I got a jump on the next birthday, buying presents that I put away for now. So that might be easier (since Tim might be on a ten-day tour leading up to that birthday!).
Hooray for 9 years of motherhood!
That means I've been a mom for 9 years.
That's weird.
I got him a pocket knife. Seemed like a completely reasonable thing for a 9 year old to own. But then the lady at the store said I had to be over 18 to purchase it, and my other kids found it in the presents we were wrapping and they made me ask Daddy if it's okay to give to a 9 year old. Guess it's a different world than it used to be. I thought 9 years old was actually a little old for a first pocket knife!
We also got him a bunch of books (mostly classic children's lit like "Dr. Doolittle" and "the Book of Three". He was excited to discover that "Homeward Bound" was actually a book first, and that we'd give that one to him, too). Reading lights. A laptop we got free and my brother (computer whiz!) made work despite the crashed hard drive. You know, stuff. When Tim said, "Here's a box for your toys," to Caleb, Anda (7 yo) piped up with, "They aren't toys, Dad. They're real." I guess 9 years old is too old for toys, even if they're magic sets and juggling balls.
And we survived another birthday. Balloons. Decorations. A cake. Blew out the candles only twice this time. One candle self-destructed, flaming huge and melting itself to nothing while we sang. I've never seen that happen before! No tears, to speak of. Hooray. Plus I got a jump on the next birthday, buying presents that I put away for now. So that might be easier (since Tim might be on a ten-day tour leading up to that birthday!).
Hooray for 9 years of motherhood!
Monday, July 26, 2010
Home Again
First, we drove from Boise to Provo. Then the kids and I rested while Tim worked from midnight until noon finishing a project in a studio in Provo. About when we woke up, he dropped into bed and slept 5 hours. Meanwhile, I collected our stuff from around my mom's house and visited with family for a short time. When Tim got up, we packed and packed our stuff out. One more load to go, it appears! (the large, awkwardly-shaped things didn't fit).
Then, at 9:45 pm, we left my mom's house. And we drove and drove and drove and drove. I don't know how Tim stayed awake. I couldn't. I couldn't sleep, either, for pain and car sickness. So it was a pretty miserable trip home. We got here at 7:00 am (or so), and took an hour to unload the car and get the kids first wiggled out and then settled down.
I got to sleep at 8:00 am and didn't sleep long enough. Tim had to go to a show, call time around 9:30 in Denver. So he didn't get to sleep until after the show--he got home at 3:45 pm and dropped into bed by 4:00 pm, having been going for well over 2 days on 5 hours of sleep.
And I, who slept some, am totally beat. I can hardly function here. I got into the house and had lots of plans of what projects to work on next to get the place looking really pretty, but I ended up moving computers around and then pooping out. Tim's still out cold, thankfully. Hopefully he can sleep 17-18 hours!
And everyone thinks the life of a musician is so glamorous!
Then, at 9:45 pm, we left my mom's house. And we drove and drove and drove and drove. I don't know how Tim stayed awake. I couldn't. I couldn't sleep, either, for pain and car sickness. So it was a pretty miserable trip home. We got here at 7:00 am (or so), and took an hour to unload the car and get the kids first wiggled out and then settled down.
I got to sleep at 8:00 am and didn't sleep long enough. Tim had to go to a show, call time around 9:30 in Denver. So he didn't get to sleep until after the show--he got home at 3:45 pm and dropped into bed by 4:00 pm, having been going for well over 2 days on 5 hours of sleep.
And I, who slept some, am totally beat. I can hardly function here. I got into the house and had lots of plans of what projects to work on next to get the place looking really pretty, but I ended up moving computers around and then pooping out. Tim's still out cold, thankfully. Hopefully he can sleep 17-18 hours!
And everyone thinks the life of a musician is so glamorous!
Sunday, July 25, 2010
moosebutter and Moving On....
Friday was a work day for Tim (and for me, some. It always is when I come down to shows).
He had to collect people from the airport, introduce cast members who had never met and run rehearsals so they could sing together, set up sound and do the sound checks (always trickier when it's an outdoor venue--they never sound good for all-vocal groups). We thought: boring workday. Typical. Nothing special.
Brother-in-law and nephew thought: a chance to see what a touring band does for real.
They thought it sounded really cool. We couldn't see why. This was baffling. Just as baffling as the fact that the neighbor boy wanted to come over to meet Tim. Why would a kid want to meet Tim? He's not famous. Really.
Anyway, it took me a little while to grasp that the mundane normalcy of our life is kind of exotic to most people (especially ones who live 9-to-5 kinds of lives). So Brother-in-law and nephew went along as moosebutter gathered and prepped the show.
Then sister-in-law and nieces and all my 5 kids started out several hours later to do my part of the job. First, collect food for everyone (7 pizzas this time, which pretty much got devoured despite the group having been fed by the venue AND having gone to lunch for some get-to-know-you time). Feed the kids and then find the dressing room/green room (this time in a nearby building because the show was an amphitheater show on BSU campus). Tim ran past (literally) and asked for batteries for the mics. Normally my job, I was glad to hand the cash to sister-in-law and let her do that one. It's not easy to find a store with 5 kids in a strange city, but this is her home turf, so it was an easy job for her.
In the green room, everyone extra sat down while Tim and the guys went to work and so did I.
The guys' job: finish dressing and run (again) the last few tricky numbers that could potentially trip them up the most. My job is to catch loose ends: fix up the comp list, track down missing whatevers (batteries, pitch pipes, water, etc). It's also to give final feedback to the guys. Sometimes it's songs, pitch, sound mixing, notes from the last show. Sometimes it's being a house manager, handling ticketing and audience issues and working with the venue (which is, generally speaking, a pleasure--people who work in venues are fantastic). Sometimes it's being a go-between, running errands between rooms or between the guys and the sound guy or the guys and the venue. This time it was costumes (we had two sets: mixed or all matching?).
I used to do a lot more, but during all of that I'm also doing regular mom stuff getting 5 kids under 9 ready to sit through a show (or TWO shows in this case)--so potty breaks, drinks, making sure everyone understands the rules of whatever venue we're at, finding appropriate seating (where 5 kids won't distract too much), etc.
So we headed over to the amphitheater and made our way up to the grass at the top. The amphitheater was already full of over a thousand color-coded teenagers, there for a week-long summer camp for LDS teenagers. My kids found seats, and we set up lawn chairs and strollers up above the top row of teens.
And the show went on. Moosebutter did a fine job. They aren't as young as they used to be, and I've seen that show hundreds of times, so I was really taking notes on things instead of enjoying the show. But the kids in the audience seemed to enjoy it. Richard Steighner, the guy who was singing bass AND percussion, was BRILLIANT. He has more "sounds" than any vocal percussionist I've ever heard, either live or in recording. He's the first percussionist whose solo didn't bore me. He's really incredible.
Part way through the show, my 4 yo came up and said, "Can we go home now?" 3 yo was already running up and down the rows of teenagers giving every person "five"--he made it clear across three rows, some more than once, before I caught him. Not long after, 1 yo got fussy, 7 yo came up and started coloring with crayons instead of watching the show, and eventually even 8 yo was ready to go. Before the show ended.
After the first show, we dashed down to the stage and let the kids run, fed the guys again (pizza and grapes), finagled more water for the guys (it was HOT), gave a few notes (I usually bite my tongue, saving most of the notes just for Tim so he can pick and choose what are notes just for him and what are notes for everyone). And then back up to the top for the second show.
Second show of the night was for a college-age LDS audience. Since most of the college-age LDS kids were counselors at the teen camp, the audiences was skimpy--50 people or so. So moosebutter ran the show more relaxed, doing an extended (and really good) requests section. Richard is really skilled with requests, and since the bass/percussion is the backbone of requested songs (which the guys often are making up on the spot), it was really fun. There were some great comic moments. The guys do hilarious Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber, and Lady Gaga bits. My favorite are when they take 6-12 requests at once and blend them all together. Fantastic fun.
They ended with a disco medley that was incredible. I've seen them do this before, but this time it was the first time I've actually wanted to dance to a cappella music. It's been my complaint for years that a cappella music is never danceable, when it should be.
After the show, the usual hangups. We sent some people home in the van with sister in law, but couldn't fit all of us. So the two littlest kids and I stayed to help/watch clean up. It wasn't hard to break everything down, but in the meantime, someone had locked not just the dressing rooms but the entire building they were in. So all the clothes, the keys to the car, everyone's computers, etc. were locked up. It took a long time to sort that out (and, bless his soul!, Richard did it instead of Tim having to do that, break down sound, clean up, deal with the contact person for the show, etc.). There had been some miscommunication somewhere along the lines and there were no sleeping accommodations arranged for the guys. Sister in Law volunteered her house, where we were sleeping. So Richard came back and slept there. The other two guys had met some girls (they're single, and this is actually really common after shows--although I doubt the girls realized that), so they went to hang out and then spent the night at one their aunt's house near the airport.
Eventually, we got everything worked out and headed home. Got there before midnight (translate this to mean: it was a smooth load-out and things moved pretty quickly). Then we sat up eating ice cream and talking for a long time. It was fun.
Slept.
Woke up and packed up and drove down to Lehi, UT again to crash at my mom's house for the night. At least, me and the kids are crashing for the night. In the midst of our trip to ID, a contract Tim's been working on was renegotiated, and he has to spend all night tonight editing video, and maybe most of tomorrow, depending on how smoothly things go.
Then we drive most of the day tomorrow because Tim has a show in the morning on Monday in Colorado.
Not looking forward to that drive. Today's drive was 2 hours shorter than tomorrow's will be, and I was in serious fibro pain for 4 hours of it. Hopefully a good night's sleep will help (minus the stresses of a show).
He had to collect people from the airport, introduce cast members who had never met and run rehearsals so they could sing together, set up sound and do the sound checks (always trickier when it's an outdoor venue--they never sound good for all-vocal groups). We thought: boring workday. Typical. Nothing special.
Brother-in-law and nephew thought: a chance to see what a touring band does for real.
They thought it sounded really cool. We couldn't see why. This was baffling. Just as baffling as the fact that the neighbor boy wanted to come over to meet Tim. Why would a kid want to meet Tim? He's not famous. Really.
Anyway, it took me a little while to grasp that the mundane normalcy of our life is kind of exotic to most people (especially ones who live 9-to-5 kinds of lives). So Brother-in-law and nephew went along as moosebutter gathered and prepped the show.
Then sister-in-law and nieces and all my 5 kids started out several hours later to do my part of the job. First, collect food for everyone (7 pizzas this time, which pretty much got devoured despite the group having been fed by the venue AND having gone to lunch for some get-to-know-you time). Feed the kids and then find the dressing room/green room (this time in a nearby building because the show was an amphitheater show on BSU campus). Tim ran past (literally) and asked for batteries for the mics. Normally my job, I was glad to hand the cash to sister-in-law and let her do that one. It's not easy to find a store with 5 kids in a strange city, but this is her home turf, so it was an easy job for her.
In the green room, everyone extra sat down while Tim and the guys went to work and so did I.
The guys' job: finish dressing and run (again) the last few tricky numbers that could potentially trip them up the most. My job is to catch loose ends: fix up the comp list, track down missing whatevers (batteries, pitch pipes, water, etc). It's also to give final feedback to the guys. Sometimes it's songs, pitch, sound mixing, notes from the last show. Sometimes it's being a house manager, handling ticketing and audience issues and working with the venue (which is, generally speaking, a pleasure--people who work in venues are fantastic). Sometimes it's being a go-between, running errands between rooms or between the guys and the sound guy or the guys and the venue. This time it was costumes (we had two sets: mixed or all matching?).
I used to do a lot more, but during all of that I'm also doing regular mom stuff getting 5 kids under 9 ready to sit through a show (or TWO shows in this case)--so potty breaks, drinks, making sure everyone understands the rules of whatever venue we're at, finding appropriate seating (where 5 kids won't distract too much), etc.
So we headed over to the amphitheater and made our way up to the grass at the top. The amphitheater was already full of over a thousand color-coded teenagers, there for a week-long summer camp for LDS teenagers. My kids found seats, and we set up lawn chairs and strollers up above the top row of teens.
And the show went on. Moosebutter did a fine job. They aren't as young as they used to be, and I've seen that show hundreds of times, so I was really taking notes on things instead of enjoying the show. But the kids in the audience seemed to enjoy it. Richard Steighner, the guy who was singing bass AND percussion, was BRILLIANT. He has more "sounds" than any vocal percussionist I've ever heard, either live or in recording. He's the first percussionist whose solo didn't bore me. He's really incredible.
Part way through the show, my 4 yo came up and said, "Can we go home now?" 3 yo was already running up and down the rows of teenagers giving every person "five"--he made it clear across three rows, some more than once, before I caught him. Not long after, 1 yo got fussy, 7 yo came up and started coloring with crayons instead of watching the show, and eventually even 8 yo was ready to go. Before the show ended.
After the first show, we dashed down to the stage and let the kids run, fed the guys again (pizza and grapes), finagled more water for the guys (it was HOT), gave a few notes (I usually bite my tongue, saving most of the notes just for Tim so he can pick and choose what are notes just for him and what are notes for everyone). And then back up to the top for the second show.
Second show of the night was for a college-age LDS audience. Since most of the college-age LDS kids were counselors at the teen camp, the audiences was skimpy--50 people or so. So moosebutter ran the show more relaxed, doing an extended (and really good) requests section. Richard is really skilled with requests, and since the bass/percussion is the backbone of requested songs (which the guys often are making up on the spot), it was really fun. There were some great comic moments. The guys do hilarious Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber, and Lady Gaga bits. My favorite are when they take 6-12 requests at once and blend them all together. Fantastic fun.
They ended with a disco medley that was incredible. I've seen them do this before, but this time it was the first time I've actually wanted to dance to a cappella music. It's been my complaint for years that a cappella music is never danceable, when it should be.
After the show, the usual hangups. We sent some people home in the van with sister in law, but couldn't fit all of us. So the two littlest kids and I stayed to help/watch clean up. It wasn't hard to break everything down, but in the meantime, someone had locked not just the dressing rooms but the entire building they were in. So all the clothes, the keys to the car, everyone's computers, etc. were locked up. It took a long time to sort that out (and, bless his soul!, Richard did it instead of Tim having to do that, break down sound, clean up, deal with the contact person for the show, etc.). There had been some miscommunication somewhere along the lines and there were no sleeping accommodations arranged for the guys. Sister in Law volunteered her house, where we were sleeping. So Richard came back and slept there. The other two guys had met some girls (they're single, and this is actually really common after shows--although I doubt the girls realized that), so they went to hang out and then spent the night at one their aunt's house near the airport.
Eventually, we got everything worked out and headed home. Got there before midnight (translate this to mean: it was a smooth load-out and things moved pretty quickly). Then we sat up eating ice cream and talking for a long time. It was fun.
Slept.
Woke up and packed up and drove down to Lehi, UT again to crash at my mom's house for the night. At least, me and the kids are crashing for the night. In the midst of our trip to ID, a contract Tim's been working on was renegotiated, and he has to spend all night tonight editing video, and maybe most of tomorrow, depending on how smoothly things go.
Then we drive most of the day tomorrow because Tim has a show in the morning on Monday in Colorado.
Not looking forward to that drive. Today's drive was 2 hours shorter than tomorrow's will be, and I was in serious fibro pain for 4 hours of it. Hopefully a good night's sleep will help (minus the stresses of a show).
Kuna, ID
Kuna, ID:
They have a "Lineman's University" there. No, not football. Telephone and electrical wires. There's even a field full of telephone poles--I assume a practice field? We got a kick out of that.
On the same road, there's a castle. It's a little astonishing to drive past fields and stereotypical red barns and farm houses, and then a castle. That was a surprise.
My daughter LOVES animals and was really excited by all the signs in Boise about a "Birds of Prey Conservation Area," so we asked Tim's sister about it. She took us out there. We drove out past the farmland into scrubland. It was so dry, so vast, so forbidding that I kept thinking, "Who on earth came out here and said, 'I know--Farmland!'" Right in the middle of a big windy desert, we parked in a tiny parking lot and started down a trail. The wind was fierce, the heat worse, and it looked like no place for a pregnant lady.
We walked about a quarter of a mile--maybe even less--and came upon a long concrete barrier. Just over the barrier was an enormous canyon, with the Snake River at the bottom. The black cliffs towered nearly straight up on both sides of the gorge, and it was a stunning sight! I enjoyed it more than the Grand Canyon. Who knew the desert hid such a fantastic view?!
After we left there, we drove down to the Swan Falls Dam (where there are no falls or swans). We didn't realize until we went around the bend that we would be driving down into the gorge on a steep road--with our little Honda Odyssey towing a trailer full of sound equipment. The road was narrow, and dropped down into the gorge with no place to turn a trailer around. I was immediately worried the poor van wouldn't be able to climb back out of the gorge. The old Dam was very neat--lots of cool old buildings. We had a tricky bit trying to turn around, but Tim is good with backing the trailer and we made it. And we made it out of the gorge with no trouble, despite my worries.
We topped the adventure off with ice cream cones all around, for which Tim got applause from all the children. Best applause ever.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
On the Road Again
I haven't posted trip updates in a long time because usually Tim goes alone or we go to Utah, which is a trip I've made enough times that I don't see the interesting things anymore. So nothing to write!
Today, though, we made the second leg of our trip to Idaho, from Lehi to Kuna, ID. It's a trip I haven't made in many years, so it was new to me.
First thing I noticed were some funny signs:
One read, "Beware Broken Windshields". Since they're sitting around on the freeway all the time?
Another said, "Idaho is too great to litter." That's good, since when a state litters, it lands in another state, and nobody wants Idaho's trash.
I also noticed that northern Utah and southern Idaho are a lot more desert-like than I remembered. There are swaths of beautiful farmland, for sure, but most of the drive was dry rolling hills covered with sagebrush. That made it at least as exciting as the drive through Wyoming, which is one of my least favorite drives around.
Just before the border, though, there is a whole valley of abandoned farms, with empty frame farmhouses worn gray by the weather, fields plowed but not planted and just sitting there. Completely deserted. I realize from my family history that the area around the border is particularly difficult for dry farming, so I can see why it might have been walked away from (that's what my family did in the 1920s). But seeing farm after farm after farm just left to ghosts begged for two things: exploration and narrative. I can't help but think of a thousand stories for those empty houses.
On the way up, we discovered that most of the Sinclair stations in Idaho are out of everything but the lowest grade of gas. That was bizarre. Snowville (just on the Utah side of the border) was PACKED with cars and trucks, and was running out of gas altogether. So we drove on and eventually had to stop at a little gas station that was its own town. And that means expensive. So we didn't fill up all the way while we were there, but we did take a potty break.
It was the funniest gas station I've ever been in. On the door was a sign that said, "Baby Rattlers Inside; be cautious." Inside was a deep cage, with steps up to it and chicken wire across the top. The sign said, "Baby Rattlers." In the bottom of the cage was sawdust and....baby rattles. Pink ones and blue ones, mostly, but there was at least one yellow one thrown in for good measure.
Next to that was a "phone" that said, "Local calls only." It was a can on a string.
Near the bathroom was a large sign that said, "Watch out for bats." Yeah, you guessed it. Just through the doorway, a wooden baseball bat was suspended from the ceiling.
The kids got a kick out of that place.
Tim and I have a dream of wandering the country some day and going to all the little museums in all the little out-of-the-way towns--and finding places like that gas station. It was a great stop. Too bad gas was a dollar more per gallon than some other places on our trip!
Coming up on Twin Falls, we found at least two signs, several miles apart, that said, "Twin Falls 42" (miles, that is), and at least three that said, "Twin Falls 13" miles. All miles apart from each other. Then, when we reached Twin Falls, we drove through it and were in Jerome before we realized we'd seen it. I kept thinking we'd catch up to it eventually and prove the signs wrong (a city can't be receding, can it?), but from the freeway, Twin Falls seems to be more of a farming region than a city. So the signs are all right, I guess, because the exact location of Twin Falls is kind of nebulous. Jerome was great, though. No gas at the Sinclair, but there was a Little Caesar's pizza, so we got pizza for dinner.
The last hour of the trip, after two days of driving, I was in such pain in my hips that I couldn't get comfortable. I was crawling up my seat, squirming and wiggling and so deeply uncomfortable. It was awful. So I was glad when Boise came into sight.
So we eventually made it in to Boise, then to Kuna, and then to Tim's sister's house, where we are staying for a visit (prompted by a gig in the area on Friday). Hooray!
Today, though, we made the second leg of our trip to Idaho, from Lehi to Kuna, ID. It's a trip I haven't made in many years, so it was new to me.
First thing I noticed were some funny signs:
One read, "Beware Broken Windshields". Since they're sitting around on the freeway all the time?
Another said, "Idaho is too great to litter." That's good, since when a state litters, it lands in another state, and nobody wants Idaho's trash.
I also noticed that northern Utah and southern Idaho are a lot more desert-like than I remembered. There are swaths of beautiful farmland, for sure, but most of the drive was dry rolling hills covered with sagebrush. That made it at least as exciting as the drive through Wyoming, which is one of my least favorite drives around.
Just before the border, though, there is a whole valley of abandoned farms, with empty frame farmhouses worn gray by the weather, fields plowed but not planted and just sitting there. Completely deserted. I realize from my family history that the area around the border is particularly difficult for dry farming, so I can see why it might have been walked away from (that's what my family did in the 1920s). But seeing farm after farm after farm just left to ghosts begged for two things: exploration and narrative. I can't help but think of a thousand stories for those empty houses.
On the way up, we discovered that most of the Sinclair stations in Idaho are out of everything but the lowest grade of gas. That was bizarre. Snowville (just on the Utah side of the border) was PACKED with cars and trucks, and was running out of gas altogether. So we drove on and eventually had to stop at a little gas station that was its own town. And that means expensive. So we didn't fill up all the way while we were there, but we did take a potty break.
It was the funniest gas station I've ever been in. On the door was a sign that said, "Baby Rattlers Inside; be cautious." Inside was a deep cage, with steps up to it and chicken wire across the top. The sign said, "Baby Rattlers." In the bottom of the cage was sawdust and....baby rattles. Pink ones and blue ones, mostly, but there was at least one yellow one thrown in for good measure.
Next to that was a "phone" that said, "Local calls only." It was a can on a string.
Near the bathroom was a large sign that said, "Watch out for bats." Yeah, you guessed it. Just through the doorway, a wooden baseball bat was suspended from the ceiling.
The kids got a kick out of that place.
Tim and I have a dream of wandering the country some day and going to all the little museums in all the little out-of-the-way towns--and finding places like that gas station. It was a great stop. Too bad gas was a dollar more per gallon than some other places on our trip!
Coming up on Twin Falls, we found at least two signs, several miles apart, that said, "Twin Falls 42" (miles, that is), and at least three that said, "Twin Falls 13" miles. All miles apart from each other. Then, when we reached Twin Falls, we drove through it and were in Jerome before we realized we'd seen it. I kept thinking we'd catch up to it eventually and prove the signs wrong (a city can't be receding, can it?), but from the freeway, Twin Falls seems to be more of a farming region than a city. So the signs are all right, I guess, because the exact location of Twin Falls is kind of nebulous. Jerome was great, though. No gas at the Sinclair, but there was a Little Caesar's pizza, so we got pizza for dinner.
The last hour of the trip, after two days of driving, I was in such pain in my hips that I couldn't get comfortable. I was crawling up my seat, squirming and wiggling and so deeply uncomfortable. It was awful. So I was glad when Boise came into sight.
So we eventually made it in to Boise, then to Kuna, and then to Tim's sister's house, where we are staying for a visit (prompted by a gig in the area on Friday). Hooray!
Monday, July 19, 2010
Venting.
So we made the huge sacrifice and got up after a mere 4 hours of sleep (2 for some family members, and me waked at least 5 times in those 4 hours), dragged everyone out of bed and into clothes, and made it to church. 4/6 of us made it to the sacrament. (I caught it later, during the 11:00 ward).
This was a MAJOR sacrifice and victory for us, especially with me pregnant.
See, church is at 2:00 am.
(That's 9:00 am for you diurnal folks, but 2:00 am according to our circadian rhythms).
We've often looked at the wards and wondered who would actually still be coming faithfully if they were ALL asked to be there at 2:00 am? Hopefully all of them, but when I hear someone say, "Oh, Sister So-and-So couldn't make it to teach her class because she didn't get off work until 4:00 am!", I don't have much sympathy.
So we were there, but I spent the whole time feeling pretty miserable. It didn't feel like a victory. Instead, we got there and I looked around and saw my little half-sleepy clan interacting with the world--a world who was alive after a full night's sleep and ready to rock at 9:00 am. A world who had no idea the challenges we face, and the battles we fought to get there, and who were judging us (or even just perceiving us) as though we were normal, when we're not. Even people who know we sleep wrong can't possibly really understand what it means in real life because it's just such a completely foreign thing. Everyone's met someone who has allergies--they can comprehend that. Nobody ever meets someone with a sleep disorder--especially a whole family of them! Especially since many people with sleep disorders just force themselves to live in the normal world and suffer for it in other ways.
I saw us through their eyes and was deeply embarrassed. All of us were in wrinkled clothes. I looked horrible. I couldn't remember if I'd even fixed my hair--I think I brushed it, but that's all--and my shirt was nappy and not formal enough for church. Nathanael didn't have shoes. Everyone else was in sports sandals. The three little boys didn't have their hair fixed. Benji's hair was so long it was ugly, and sticking out everywhere, and he still was coated with dirt from playing outside yesterday. Benji looked like we dragged him from a trash bin--his clothes were both faded and stained and belonged in the rag bag, not the church building. More than one child had dirt on their faces. And they all had this vacant look on their faces like we'd prepared them for church by giving them pot instead of peaches for breakfast.
Worse than our appearance, though, was the behavior that I know we were getting judged by ("Oh, those poor Jones kids! Don't their parents teach them anything? If it were MY kid, they'd never get away with that!"). Daniel was clingy, non-verbal (using sign language), unbelievably nervous. Benji just kept bursting out into tears or throwing a fit (he made the nursery say two prayers because he wanted to say one), and he was in and out of nursery over and over. Nathanael, who is now old enough for nursery, played for about 15 minutes and then said, "Done! Time go!" And he spent the rest of the meetings leading Tim up and down halls, sometimes with Benji and sometimes with Daniel, who was also in and out of classes. That doesn't sound so bad, but how many kids do you know that go in and out of sunday school multiple times in an hour and make their parents come, too? None. It's not socially acceptable. Even the big kids, who are old enough to not misbehave or fall apart, were zombies. You'd never guess they are bright, happy, friendly, articulate children who have heard of the gospel before. And I was grouchy, teary, and couldn't form coherent sentences. All of us ended up whispering in meetings, which is also not acceptable. And every time someone said, "Nice to see you here!", I wanted to say, "For you, maybe." And when they asked, "How are you feeling?" (a kindness, since I was so sick for so long), it was all I could do to say, "I'm here."
I desperately wanted to connect with my friends (I actually have a handful of wonderful friends who I adore in this ward), but I was too tired to make a sentence to talk to them.
Even knowing that everyone was NOT looking at us (because really, people are ALWAYS more concerned about what you are thinking of them than what they are thinking of you), I came home feeling like they were anyway. Even knowing that if they were busy criticizing us, they were living in their own misery and it didn't really affect us in the end, I was unhappy when I got home.
(Don't panic, those of you who are thinking of calling me to see if I need Lexipro: Sleep helped. (That's part of the problem....when you're sleep deprived, you can't process well and your brain acts like it has depression).)
I came home with two distinct thoughts. One was that I greatly admire the prophets who were thrown in prison, starved and beaten, and STILL maintained their faith and composure. Having faith is hard enough. When you are physically suffering (or even just uncomfortable), it's all that much harder. Having enough sleep and enough food makes it easier to be kind, thoughtful, and righteous. So when the prophets could do it starved, beaten, and naked--I'm impressed with that.
The other thought was not for me. It was directed at all the imaginary people who were being critical of me in my mind. It was just this:
YOU try taking your family to church at 2:00 am!
This was a MAJOR sacrifice and victory for us, especially with me pregnant.
See, church is at 2:00 am.
(That's 9:00 am for you diurnal folks, but 2:00 am according to our circadian rhythms).
We've often looked at the wards and wondered who would actually still be coming faithfully if they were ALL asked to be there at 2:00 am? Hopefully all of them, but when I hear someone say, "Oh, Sister So-and-So couldn't make it to teach her class because she didn't get off work until 4:00 am!", I don't have much sympathy.
So we were there, but I spent the whole time feeling pretty miserable. It didn't feel like a victory. Instead, we got there and I looked around and saw my little half-sleepy clan interacting with the world--a world who was alive after a full night's sleep and ready to rock at 9:00 am. A world who had no idea the challenges we face, and the battles we fought to get there, and who were judging us (or even just perceiving us) as though we were normal, when we're not. Even people who know we sleep wrong can't possibly really understand what it means in real life because it's just such a completely foreign thing. Everyone's met someone who has allergies--they can comprehend that. Nobody ever meets someone with a sleep disorder--especially a whole family of them! Especially since many people with sleep disorders just force themselves to live in the normal world and suffer for it in other ways.
I saw us through their eyes and was deeply embarrassed. All of us were in wrinkled clothes. I looked horrible. I couldn't remember if I'd even fixed my hair--I think I brushed it, but that's all--and my shirt was nappy and not formal enough for church. Nathanael didn't have shoes. Everyone else was in sports sandals. The three little boys didn't have their hair fixed. Benji's hair was so long it was ugly, and sticking out everywhere, and he still was coated with dirt from playing outside yesterday. Benji looked like we dragged him from a trash bin--his clothes were both faded and stained and belonged in the rag bag, not the church building. More than one child had dirt on their faces. And they all had this vacant look on their faces like we'd prepared them for church by giving them pot instead of peaches for breakfast.
Worse than our appearance, though, was the behavior that I know we were getting judged by ("Oh, those poor Jones kids! Don't their parents teach them anything? If it were MY kid, they'd never get away with that!"). Daniel was clingy, non-verbal (using sign language), unbelievably nervous. Benji just kept bursting out into tears or throwing a fit (he made the nursery say two prayers because he wanted to say one), and he was in and out of nursery over and over. Nathanael, who is now old enough for nursery, played for about 15 minutes and then said, "Done! Time go!" And he spent the rest of the meetings leading Tim up and down halls, sometimes with Benji and sometimes with Daniel, who was also in and out of classes. That doesn't sound so bad, but how many kids do you know that go in and out of sunday school multiple times in an hour and make their parents come, too? None. It's not socially acceptable. Even the big kids, who are old enough to not misbehave or fall apart, were zombies. You'd never guess they are bright, happy, friendly, articulate children who have heard of the gospel before. And I was grouchy, teary, and couldn't form coherent sentences. All of us ended up whispering in meetings, which is also not acceptable. And every time someone said, "Nice to see you here!", I wanted to say, "For you, maybe." And when they asked, "How are you feeling?" (a kindness, since I was so sick for so long), it was all I could do to say, "I'm here."
I desperately wanted to connect with my friends (I actually have a handful of wonderful friends who I adore in this ward), but I was too tired to make a sentence to talk to them.
Even knowing that everyone was NOT looking at us (because really, people are ALWAYS more concerned about what you are thinking of them than what they are thinking of you), I came home feeling like they were anyway. Even knowing that if they were busy criticizing us, they were living in their own misery and it didn't really affect us in the end, I was unhappy when I got home.
(Don't panic, those of you who are thinking of calling me to see if I need Lexipro: Sleep helped. (That's part of the problem....when you're sleep deprived, you can't process well and your brain acts like it has depression).)
I came home with two distinct thoughts. One was that I greatly admire the prophets who were thrown in prison, starved and beaten, and STILL maintained their faith and composure. Having faith is hard enough. When you are physically suffering (or even just uncomfortable), it's all that much harder. Having enough sleep and enough food makes it easier to be kind, thoughtful, and righteous. So when the prophets could do it starved, beaten, and naked--I'm impressed with that.
The other thought was not for me. It was directed at all the imaginary people who were being critical of me in my mind. It was just this:
YOU try taking your family to church at 2:00 am!
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Why we read/write: to escape; and also, beginnings
The air conditioner in the house isn't working. As far as I can tell, it needs to be recharged.
But we didn't have money for that AND the mortgage, so we figured we'd pay the mortgage, survive the week, and then fix the A/C when some expected checks come in after we go on Tim's next tour to Idaho (we leave Monday).
So it's been almost unbearably hot in the house, even with fans going and our little swamp cooler chugging away, trying to cool 1200 square feet instead of 225. It's really only hot between 3:00 and 9:00 pm. As soon as the sun goes down, Colorado cools off and we can throw open all the doors and windows and put fans in them and blow the house comfortable again. But for the time of day right after we wake up until 9:00, it's around 85 degrees inside, hotter out, and pretty close to miserable. See, when it's 85 degrees in the house and you're pregnant, you don't do dishes, cook, eat, pick up toys, fold laundry, or even move unless you have to.
So how do I escape?
I edit my novel.
Some people read books to escape miserable circumstances. I write them. And I rewrite, revise, edit, etc.
I've been pretty pleased with my novel as I've gone along. And really unsure of the beginning still. Beginnings are what you get judged on, and they're my weakest point.
So at dinner (at midnight, after it had cooled off), I expressed that to Tim. Turned out some of the kids were listening, too. Anda, my fairly well-read 7 year old, said earnestly, "But Mom, many authors have poor beginnings. You don't have to worry about that."
So there you have it. According to my kids, "many" authors of children's novels aren't very good at beginnings. I guess I'm in good company, then!
But we didn't have money for that AND the mortgage, so we figured we'd pay the mortgage, survive the week, and then fix the A/C when some expected checks come in after we go on Tim's next tour to Idaho (we leave Monday).
So it's been almost unbearably hot in the house, even with fans going and our little swamp cooler chugging away, trying to cool 1200 square feet instead of 225. It's really only hot between 3:00 and 9:00 pm. As soon as the sun goes down, Colorado cools off and we can throw open all the doors and windows and put fans in them and blow the house comfortable again. But for the time of day right after we wake up until 9:00, it's around 85 degrees inside, hotter out, and pretty close to miserable. See, when it's 85 degrees in the house and you're pregnant, you don't do dishes, cook, eat, pick up toys, fold laundry, or even move unless you have to.
So how do I escape?
I edit my novel.
Some people read books to escape miserable circumstances. I write them. And I rewrite, revise, edit, etc.
I've been pretty pleased with my novel as I've gone along. And really unsure of the beginning still. Beginnings are what you get judged on, and they're my weakest point.
So at dinner (at midnight, after it had cooled off), I expressed that to Tim. Turned out some of the kids were listening, too. Anda, my fairly well-read 7 year old, said earnestly, "But Mom, many authors have poor beginnings. You don't have to worry about that."
So there you have it. According to my kids, "many" authors of children's novels aren't very good at beginnings. I guess I'm in good company, then!
Friday, July 16, 2010
Did I just WRITE that?
Every once in a while, while editing my own writing, I find that I penned a serious gaffe. Found this one yesterday: "Kate’s stomach grumbled, and her limbs felt weak and rubbery—whether from fear or hunger, or both, Kate didn’t know. They didn’t speak."
Yes, well, limbs don't usually speak.
Yes, well, limbs don't usually speak.
Did I just read that?
From Cnn.com: "A tip led police to the town of Hawk Point, about 45 miles south of Louisiana, where police found a car parked outside a home that roughly matched that description..." http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/07/07/missouri.abducted.child/index.html?iref=obnetwork
Right in the middle of the ocean.....
(Actually, in the greater context, they did mention that Louisiana is a town in MO--2 paragraphs before. But the sentence, standing alone, is quite the statement!)
Right in the middle of the ocean.....
(Actually, in the greater context, they did mention that Louisiana is a town in MO--2 paragraphs before. But the sentence, standing alone, is quite the statement!)
Did I just read that?
From Fox News: "U.S. SENATE
Report: State Department Unaware of Ability to Limit Passports to Sex Offenders"
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2010/07/15/thousands-sex-offenders-issued-passports-travel-abroad/?test=latestnews
Good thing they're unaware. Some of the rest of us want to be able to leave the country sometimes, too.
I guess they want the sex offenders to go elsewhere?
Report: State Department Unaware of Ability to Limit Passports to Sex Offenders"
http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2010/07/15/thousands-sex-offenders-issued-passports-travel-abroad/?test=latestnews
Good thing they're unaware. Some of the rest of us want to be able to leave the country sometimes, too.
I guess they want the sex offenders to go elsewhere?
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Nice quote about Tim's show:
"Mister Tim, a solo a cappella artist who uses technology to allow himself to sing along with… himself. A really fun show for all ages."
http://www.coloradoan.com/apps/pbcs.dll/section?category=PluckPersona&U=3c3932cce49441cbb6b937021f9750e2&plckPersonaPage=BlogViewPost&plckUserId=3c3932cce49441cbb6b937021f9750e2&plckPostId=Blog:3c3932cce49441cbb6b937021f9750e2Post:44c0f561-e29c-4baa-8180-1e58dde686a5&plckController=PersonaBlog&plckScript=personaScript&plckElementId=personaDest
It IS a really fun show, too!
http://www.coloradoan.com/apps/pbcs.dll/section?category=PluckPersona&U=3c3932cce49441cbb6b937021f9750e2&plckPersonaPage=BlogViewPost&plckUserId=3c3932cce49441cbb6b937021f9750e2&plckPostId=Blog:3c3932cce49441cbb6b937021f9750e2Post:44c0f561-e29c-4baa-8180-1e58dde686a5&plckController=PersonaBlog&plckScript=personaScript&plckElementId=personaDest
It IS a really fun show, too!
Did I just read that?
Finally found the other one we clipped from a newspaper over 6 years ago. From a Thrifty Nickle Classified ad, from Provo, UT, appx 2004: "BEAUTIFUL NAUGHTY Pine bedroom set, queen size, with night stand, dresser and mirror. Still in boxes, $2500..."
Naughty pine, huh? I wonder what it did that was so naughty?
Must go with the "rod iron" patio furniture you see in classifieds all the time.
Naughty pine, huh? I wonder what it did that was so naughty?
Must go with the "rod iron" patio furniture you see in classifieds all the time.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
What happened?
They SWORE the "right wing" were just being hate-mongers and that homosexuality would never be taught in schools. We were all just making that up, right?
Not so much, it turns out.
Not only are they planning to teach it in schools, they're planning to start with 6 year olds and keep it up every year until 10 year olds are getting ALL the details.\
Nice.
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2010/07/09/montana-school-proposes-controversial-sex-education-program/?test=latestnews
Not so much, it turns out.
Not only are they planning to teach it in schools, they're planning to start with 6 year olds and keep it up every year until 10 year olds are getting ALL the details.\
Nice.
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2010/07/09/montana-school-proposes-controversial-sex-education-program/?test=latestnews
Thursday, July 08, 2010
Did I just read that?
from http://www.myfoxny.com/dpps/news/suspect-in-abduction-of-young-missouri-girl-kills-himself-dpgonc-20100707-mh_8533261:
"KMOV.com reported the man -- who also goes by the name Paul Steven Smith -- was a convicted sex offender released from jail just two weeks ago on drug charges."
Usually a person gets SENT to jail on drug charges.
"KMOV.com reported the man -- who also goes by the name Paul Steven Smith -- was a convicted sex offender released from jail just two weeks ago on drug charges."
Usually a person gets SENT to jail on drug charges.
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
Conversing with my nephew
I have a very verbal, very smart nephew who is six weeks shy of being 3 years old. And today he decided to hang out with me for half an hour before he settled in to playing with the other kids.
One of my mom's chickens came wandering by, and he said, "I'll chase it away!"
I said, "Oh, no. Be kind to the chickens."
"Why?"
"Because they give us eggs."
"Oh," he said, "so THEY'RE the ones who wash them and hand them to us?"
"Um," I replied, trying to figure out what to say next. "They make the eggs for us."
He thought about that for a minute and then said, "What do they make them out of?"
Now I had to think for a minute. "They make them with their bodies," I finally said.
His turn to think. Then, "How do they do that?" he asked.
My turn to think. Then, "That's what they're made to do."
His turn to think. Finally, "Oh."
I'm glad he was satisfied with that answer. Didn't know how to explain chicken ovulation to my sister's kid without potentially getting one of us in trouble eventually.
One of my mom's chickens came wandering by, and he said, "I'll chase it away!"
I said, "Oh, no. Be kind to the chickens."
"Why?"
"Because they give us eggs."
"Oh," he said, "so THEY'RE the ones who wash them and hand them to us?"
"Um," I replied, trying to figure out what to say next. "They make the eggs for us."
He thought about that for a minute and then said, "What do they make them out of?"
Now I had to think for a minute. "They make them with their bodies," I finally said.
His turn to think. Then, "How do they do that?" he asked.
My turn to think. Then, "That's what they're made to do."
His turn to think. Finally, "Oh."
I'm glad he was satisfied with that answer. Didn't know how to explain chicken ovulation to my sister's kid without potentially getting one of us in trouble eventually.
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
Tim's Latest Show
Years ago, after a couple of years of trying it, we swore off scheduling our own shows at our own risk. The risk was too great, the reward too small. Generally speaking, we found that only 10% of the people who said they would come did, and generally speaking a "successful" show broke even. There was no income in producing your own show, and it was a LOT of work.
This summer, though, we decided to try it again. The problem we've been having is that Tim has a fairly strong reputation as an a capella comedy guy, and that's not what he's doing anymore. To further complicate things, even when we explain what he IS doing, nobody really understands it because they have no frame of reference to stick it in. He is doing something that is rather unique (not completely, but unique enough in the broader musical world that not many people have seen or heard of it before), and that means hard to market. The videos we have of him "doing his thing" are not nearly as cool as seeing it live, too, so that further complicates things.
The sum total of all that is that, after 3 months of trying, we couldn't get anyone in Utah or Colorado to book Tim into their concert series. It's not that we don't know what we're doing: the "traditional" a cappella group he put together is doing plenty of shows, getting gigs off contacts, etc. And that without any performance video at all!
The non-traditional things, though, have been really hard to book. For example, Tim has put together an incredible a cappella rock group. We can't get anyone to book it because a cappella audiences aren't interested in a) original music or b) rock, and rock audiences have zero interest in a cappella. There IS absolutely an audience for this group--we just can't access it because the entertainment BUYERS don't know what to do with it.
Anyway, his solo show has been especially tricky to market. It actually is very cool and has broad appeal, but nobody knows what "solo vocal live looping" is. Even live loopers and their fans are perplexed by it. Solo Vocal Live Looping is an emerging field in music that so few people have the actual ability to do that there isn't a huge community building it--just a handful of a cappella singers/beatboxers in the WHOLE WORLD have the skills to make it work, and even fewer have the songwriting ability to support it and make it viable musically. (It involves being able to beatbox, do multiple instrument sounds, sing with a range that covers 3+ normal vocal ranges so you can harmonize with yourself, set up and run equipment including mixing on the fly from on stage while you're performing, creating the whole sound setup and design because most sound guys can't do what Tim is doing, plus writing and arranging songs based on layers of loops instead of traditional song models without them getting boring. It requires incredible pitch, musicality, and rhythm, as well as the ability to concentrate on multiple things at the same time and still engage the audience.)
Live Looping, too, generally doesn't describe what Tim is doing. Most Loopers do DJ/House music. It has a real strong techno bent to it, and most Vocal Live Loopers do a heavy beatboxing show, and mostly dance music.
ANYWAY, we really wanted him to perform in Utah, so we gave in and broke our own rule and self-produced a show here for family and friends, mostly, to see, so they, at the very least, would understand what Tim does.
And, for the first time ever in booking our own shows, this show sold out. HOORAY!
And it was amazingly good. Hard to believe how impressive it was, and I watched him prepare it. It took 5 years, really, for him to develop the technology, write the songs, prepare the show, etc. And five years of work created one incredible show.
That nobody who saw it can describe. Not really.
At the request of some who missed the show, we've scheduled a second performance, and even the people who saw it last time, when asked, "What does Tim do?", just say, "It is INCREDIBLE. Coolest thing you'll ever see. You just have to go see it."
So what does Tim do? Using only his voice, he sings all the parts to songs, live. He does the drums, he does the instruments, and he harmonizes with himself. But even when I say it, it doesn't sound as cool as it actually was. And is.
So that's what I've been pondering all week. We don't even know whether to market the show as a theater or a concert piece. Trying to get better video of it, but I'm not sure video will ever really show what it is.
It's just really cool.
You have to see it.
Last scheduled chance in Utah is July 9, at the Covey Center Black Box theater.
And THEN we have to figure out where we go from here. Now that the show is ready, what next?
This summer, though, we decided to try it again. The problem we've been having is that Tim has a fairly strong reputation as an a capella comedy guy, and that's not what he's doing anymore. To further complicate things, even when we explain what he IS doing, nobody really understands it because they have no frame of reference to stick it in. He is doing something that is rather unique (not completely, but unique enough in the broader musical world that not many people have seen or heard of it before), and that means hard to market. The videos we have of him "doing his thing" are not nearly as cool as seeing it live, too, so that further complicates things.
The sum total of all that is that, after 3 months of trying, we couldn't get anyone in Utah or Colorado to book Tim into their concert series. It's not that we don't know what we're doing: the "traditional" a cappella group he put together is doing plenty of shows, getting gigs off contacts, etc. And that without any performance video at all!
The non-traditional things, though, have been really hard to book. For example, Tim has put together an incredible a cappella rock group. We can't get anyone to book it because a cappella audiences aren't interested in a) original music or b) rock, and rock audiences have zero interest in a cappella. There IS absolutely an audience for this group--we just can't access it because the entertainment BUYERS don't know what to do with it.
Anyway, his solo show has been especially tricky to market. It actually is very cool and has broad appeal, but nobody knows what "solo vocal live looping" is. Even live loopers and their fans are perplexed by it. Solo Vocal Live Looping is an emerging field in music that so few people have the actual ability to do that there isn't a huge community building it--just a handful of a cappella singers/beatboxers in the WHOLE WORLD have the skills to make it work, and even fewer have the songwriting ability to support it and make it viable musically. (It involves being able to beatbox, do multiple instrument sounds, sing with a range that covers 3+ normal vocal ranges so you can harmonize with yourself, set up and run equipment including mixing on the fly from on stage while you're performing, creating the whole sound setup and design because most sound guys can't do what Tim is doing, plus writing and arranging songs based on layers of loops instead of traditional song models without them getting boring. It requires incredible pitch, musicality, and rhythm, as well as the ability to concentrate on multiple things at the same time and still engage the audience.)
Live Looping, too, generally doesn't describe what Tim is doing. Most Loopers do DJ/House music. It has a real strong techno bent to it, and most Vocal Live Loopers do a heavy beatboxing show, and mostly dance music.
ANYWAY, we really wanted him to perform in Utah, so we gave in and broke our own rule and self-produced a show here for family and friends, mostly, to see, so they, at the very least, would understand what Tim does.
And, for the first time ever in booking our own shows, this show sold out. HOORAY!
And it was amazingly good. Hard to believe how impressive it was, and I watched him prepare it. It took 5 years, really, for him to develop the technology, write the songs, prepare the show, etc. And five years of work created one incredible show.
That nobody who saw it can describe. Not really.
At the request of some who missed the show, we've scheduled a second performance, and even the people who saw it last time, when asked, "What does Tim do?", just say, "It is INCREDIBLE. Coolest thing you'll ever see. You just have to go see it."
So what does Tim do? Using only his voice, he sings all the parts to songs, live. He does the drums, he does the instruments, and he harmonizes with himself. But even when I say it, it doesn't sound as cool as it actually was. And is.
So that's what I've been pondering all week. We don't even know whether to market the show as a theater or a concert piece. Trying to get better video of it, but I'm not sure video will ever really show what it is.
It's just really cool.
You have to see it.
Last scheduled chance in Utah is July 9, at the Covey Center Black Box theater.
And THEN we have to figure out where we go from here. Now that the show is ready, what next?
Sunday, July 04, 2010
I laughed until I cried.....
I have 5 kids under 9 years old. I read this and quite literally laughed until I cried.
If you don't have little ones, you probably won't get it. But if you have toddlers, be sure you read the comments, too.
http://www.suburbansnapshots.com/2010/06/10-reasons-having-toddler-is-like-being.html
If you don't have little ones, you probably won't get it. But if you have toddlers, be sure you read the comments, too.
http://www.suburbansnapshots.com/2010/06/10-reasons-having-toddler-is-like-being.html
Friday, July 02, 2010
Did I just read that?
Got this one as an ad on the side of my Facebook page today:
Yes, it says this: "Let George Clooney wish you a happy 4th of July by watching this sexy new suspense thriller.....in theatres September 1st."
September 1st, huh? To wish me a happy 4th of July? Nice......
September 1st, huh? To wish me a happy 4th of July? Nice......
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Did I just read that?
From the Longmont Times-Call: "A year after fatal accident, Little Britches returns"
Resurrection!
http://www.timescall.com/news_story.asp?ID=22531
Resurrection!
http://www.timescall.com/news_story.asp?ID=22531
Monday, June 28, 2010
Did I just read that?
A friend linked me to this: "I just want to move on, says lesbian in sumo wrestler suit assault on ex"
Headline from here: http://www.herald.ie/national-news/city-news/i-just-want-to-move-on-says-lesbian-in-sumo-wrestler-suit-assault-on-ex-2233000.html
I think that's all grammatically correct, but it's still hard to believe I just read that.
Headline from here: http://www.herald.ie/national-news/city-news/i-just-want-to-move-on-says-lesbian-in-sumo-wrestler-suit-assault-on-ex-2233000.html
I think that's all grammatically correct, but it's still hard to believe I just read that.
Saturday, June 26, 2010
Did I just read that?
Check out this snippet I found tonight:
http://news.hjnews.com/news/article_9f788cd0-80ba-11df-a509-001cc4c002e0.html
Note the date and TIME this was posted, and then the text. BEFORE the eclipse even started? Seriously? Yes--because I'm reading it before the eclipse even starts!
http://news.hjnews.com/news/article_9f788cd0-80ba-11df-a509-001cc4c002e0.html
Note the date and TIME this was posted, and then the text. BEFORE the eclipse even started? Seriously? Yes--because I'm reading it before the eclipse even starts!
Rewriting
Tonight, I began revising.
I always thought I'd hate the revision process. I thought it maybe was a waste of time unless directed by a professional editor. And I've read brilliant manuscripts before that were rendered completely lifeless by overzealous revision.
But I like polishing. It's fun to discover what I've written that's good, fix what's boring, and make the writing beautiful. It's also a rather intense, creative process that involves going beyond "what happens next" to "and how do they feel about that?" and "what are they experiencing with their senses that I want the reader to experience, too?". Plus it's much MUCH easier to pick up and put down with distractions, so it's more conducive to work while mothering than drafting is.
So tonight I started. In the first half hour, I turned one chapter into three and cut 600 words. And the beginning is SO much stronger now. I find that sometimes I try too hard to justify an action. When the story is "right," it just comes quickly and easily, without a lot of tedious explanation or justifying motivation. It makes sense, it flows naturally, and it doesn't get bogged down in details. And the previous first two chapters (now the first 4--this is why my rough drafts have no chapter numbers anymore. I got sick of changing them all down the line every time I divide or combine) were definitely bogged down.
I have struggled with the first chapter of this novel for YEARS. I had to get the heroine to turn a key and walk through a door, and I used an number of reasons over the years to make her do this. FINALLY this revision, it flowed. 600 words shorter, more compelling, and she didn't have to be coerced through the door (and we readers no longer have to be coerced to keep reading. Whew!). She just opened it. I mean, really--how hard is it to get a character to walk through a door? Sheesh.
So now I have to decide: Is it okay to explode a dog, or not?
I always thought I'd hate the revision process. I thought it maybe was a waste of time unless directed by a professional editor. And I've read brilliant manuscripts before that were rendered completely lifeless by overzealous revision.
But I like polishing. It's fun to discover what I've written that's good, fix what's boring, and make the writing beautiful. It's also a rather intense, creative process that involves going beyond "what happens next" to "and how do they feel about that?" and "what are they experiencing with their senses that I want the reader to experience, too?". Plus it's much MUCH easier to pick up and put down with distractions, so it's more conducive to work while mothering than drafting is.
So tonight I started. In the first half hour, I turned one chapter into three and cut 600 words. And the beginning is SO much stronger now. I find that sometimes I try too hard to justify an action. When the story is "right," it just comes quickly and easily, without a lot of tedious explanation or justifying motivation. It makes sense, it flows naturally, and it doesn't get bogged down in details. And the previous first two chapters (now the first 4--this is why my rough drafts have no chapter numbers anymore. I got sick of changing them all down the line every time I divide or combine) were definitely bogged down.
I have struggled with the first chapter of this novel for YEARS. I had to get the heroine to turn a key and walk through a door, and I used an number of reasons over the years to make her do this. FINALLY this revision, it flowed. 600 words shorter, more compelling, and she didn't have to be coerced through the door (and we readers no longer have to be coerced to keep reading. Whew!). She just opened it. I mean, really--how hard is it to get a character to walk through a door? Sheesh.
So now I have to decide: Is it okay to explode a dog, or not?
Did I just read that?
From the Deseret News today: "Both are in the Army Reserves, serving at the Utah National Guard Base, and both boarded the Delta plane carrying hundreds of fellow soldiers." http://www.deseretnews.com/article/700043434/Tears-hugs-abound-as-Utahns-deploy-to-Iraq.html
Strongest soldiers EVER.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Learning to Write from my kids
My two big kids are in the target audience for my book, which I just finished and am already into rewriting (which, actually, is my favorite part!).
They've been reading it for me as I've written, and they provided the motivation to dive back into the manuscript and finish it (Anda asked for a printed copy for her 7th birthday, which was this month).
And they've given me the most valuable feedback I could have because they experience the story from a kid's point of view. So where adults might say, "That wouldn't happen--no grown up would let her do that....", the kids say things like, "This part is my favorite. I keep reading it over and over."
That's helpful because then I know exactly what appeals to them.
They're also helpful because they read a BUNCH of children's/teen literature and are also extremely smart, verbal children. So they can relatively eloquently express what they are seeing and experiencing, and, being my own kids, they have no fear of offending me. (Your own kids are the ones who say things like, "That skirt is ugly, mom.").
Anda and Caleb gave me some of the most helpful feedback I've ever received. In addition to the "I keep reading it over and over" comment, they have said things like, "Like most children's books, this one has a boring beginning. But don't worry--a lot of kid's books start boring, so you don't expect the first chapter to be very good." (So I knew to rewrite the beginning--and the kids approved of the new version.) and "The ending isn't very satisfying. Kate needs to fight in the battle. I really want HER to be the one who conquers the bad guy at the end."
You can see why that kind of comment might be helpful!
They also tell me when my fixes are good, which is helpful. And they fix typos and misspellings in the manuscript as they read (and yes, they are good enough with language that I trust my 7 and 8 yo to do that!).
What I mostly get from them is not so much the technicalities of a story ("this is a plot hole" or "you need more description here"), which I have plenty of help with from adept editors in my life, but the experience of reading the story. And THAT is the best help I can get.
So what I've learned by listening to my kids (and then sometimes analyzing why they are having that experience):
It is most satisfying to the kids when the main character is acting to solve problems. Even if she's a kid, the protagonist needs to be the main movement to the solution.
Regardless of how realistic it is for the child protagonist to end up battling an adult antagonist, it MUST be the hero (regardless of their age) who takes out the bad guy in the end of the story--and NOT by accident. There has to be some moment where the hero faces the bad guy and makes some kind of heroic action to conquer them, or the story is not satisfying.
It's okay for adults to act like adults in the story--and for them to have significant roles. But it is imperative that the hero of the story--the kid--be allowed to be as smart as kids are and as able as kids are to themselves (which is MUCH more than adults allow for in real life). When I was a kid, I didn't feel less capable or less smart than the adults around me. The hero of the story can't either. She can be less confident, for sure, and have the same kinds of struggles kids have--but at her core, she needs to be as competent, as smart, and as good at solving problems within her own realistic limitations (not Laura Croft-style battles where the kid physically beats the tar out of the ninja master by sheer strength and skill) as an adult, even if she's afraid to be so.
The parts the kids like best are the parts that are "out of the nursery"--the parts where the hero is on her own, surviving and acting without constant adult supervision (with adult help, sure, but on the hero's terms, not the adults).
The kids also tell me that it is NOT OKAY to blow up a mangy stray dog at the beginning of a book, but it's totally okay to blow up a castle in the middle--and maybe the hero should be inside with the several dozen other people who are in there when it blows up.
Go figure.
I told the kids my goal is to write different than but as well as JK Rowling in her first 3 books--the ones that had adequate editing. Anda told me the other day that the section I had just handed over for her to review was as good as Kathryn Lasky, "Who writes way better than JK Rowling! You just have to play her books when you're done."
I'm really flattered!
They've been reading it for me as I've written, and they provided the motivation to dive back into the manuscript and finish it (Anda asked for a printed copy for her 7th birthday, which was this month).
And they've given me the most valuable feedback I could have because they experience the story from a kid's point of view. So where adults might say, "That wouldn't happen--no grown up would let her do that....", the kids say things like, "This part is my favorite. I keep reading it over and over."
That's helpful because then I know exactly what appeals to them.
They're also helpful because they read a BUNCH of children's/teen literature and are also extremely smart, verbal children. So they can relatively eloquently express what they are seeing and experiencing, and, being my own kids, they have no fear of offending me. (Your own kids are the ones who say things like, "That skirt is ugly, mom.").
Anda and Caleb gave me some of the most helpful feedback I've ever received. In addition to the "I keep reading it over and over" comment, they have said things like, "Like most children's books, this one has a boring beginning. But don't worry--a lot of kid's books start boring, so you don't expect the first chapter to be very good." (So I knew to rewrite the beginning--and the kids approved of the new version.) and "The ending isn't very satisfying. Kate needs to fight in the battle. I really want HER to be the one who conquers the bad guy at the end."
You can see why that kind of comment might be helpful!
They also tell me when my fixes are good, which is helpful. And they fix typos and misspellings in the manuscript as they read (and yes, they are good enough with language that I trust my 7 and 8 yo to do that!).
What I mostly get from them is not so much the technicalities of a story ("this is a plot hole" or "you need more description here"), which I have plenty of help with from adept editors in my life, but the experience of reading the story. And THAT is the best help I can get.
So what I've learned by listening to my kids (and then sometimes analyzing why they are having that experience):
It is most satisfying to the kids when the main character is acting to solve problems. Even if she's a kid, the protagonist needs to be the main movement to the solution.
Regardless of how realistic it is for the child protagonist to end up battling an adult antagonist, it MUST be the hero (regardless of their age) who takes out the bad guy in the end of the story--and NOT by accident. There has to be some moment where the hero faces the bad guy and makes some kind of heroic action to conquer them, or the story is not satisfying.
It's okay for adults to act like adults in the story--and for them to have significant roles. But it is imperative that the hero of the story--the kid--be allowed to be as smart as kids are and as able as kids are to themselves (which is MUCH more than adults allow for in real life). When I was a kid, I didn't feel less capable or less smart than the adults around me. The hero of the story can't either. She can be less confident, for sure, and have the same kinds of struggles kids have--but at her core, she needs to be as competent, as smart, and as good at solving problems within her own realistic limitations (not Laura Croft-style battles where the kid physically beats the tar out of the ninja master by sheer strength and skill) as an adult, even if she's afraid to be so.
The parts the kids like best are the parts that are "out of the nursery"--the parts where the hero is on her own, surviving and acting without constant adult supervision (with adult help, sure, but on the hero's terms, not the adults).
The kids also tell me that it is NOT OKAY to blow up a mangy stray dog at the beginning of a book, but it's totally okay to blow up a castle in the middle--and maybe the hero should be inside with the several dozen other people who are in there when it blows up.
Go figure.
I told the kids my goal is to write different than but as well as JK Rowling in her first 3 books--the ones that had adequate editing. Anda told me the other day that the section I had just handed over for her to review was as good as Kathryn Lasky, "Who writes way better than JK Rowling! You just have to play her books when you're done."
I'm really flattered!
Monday, June 21, 2010
Did I just read that?
From the Adobe Reader Help Page: "For better results when creating PostScript files, use the Save As PostScript command. The Save As PostScript command isn’t available in Reader." http://help.adobe.com/en_US/Reader/8.0/help.html?content=WS58a04a822e3e50102bd615109794195ff-7bde.html
Well, now. Isn't that helpful?
Well, now. Isn't that helpful?
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Marriage Thoughts
My sister got married yesterday; we had a reception today. It was a lot of work and a lot of joy, and it left me thinking all week about marriage, naturally.
I kept wondering what you tell someone who is getting married about marriage that will help them have a happy marriage.
I can only think of a few things I might tell my sister:
I distinctly remember when I was a teenager and I went out walking with my best friend, who I married many years later. It was night, and as we walked, it got colder and he gave me his coat, which I gratefully took. We kept walking, and several minutes later I realized he was shivering. Foolish me--I hadn't realized that when a man gives a woman his coat, the man is COLD.
So that's one thing I kept thinking about. Somehow, we women seem to forget that men have feelings just like we do. Men are culturally presented as stoic and strong and hormonal, but the reality is they have feelings. And they want their feelings taken just as seriously as we want them to take ours. They want to love. They want to be loved. Just like I took Tim's coat without it ever occurring to me that he would be cold, I see many marriages where the woman expects to be loved and romanced and cared for with no thought that perhaps her husband might be feeling exactly the same way. It's worth it to share the responsibility for the love in a marriage--you fill your spouse's needs (even the ones you might not realize he has!--he'll tell you if he finds out you want to know) and it's more likely he will fill yours.
The other thing I keep thinking about is how women find a man who has been living on his own for who knows how long--years usually--and successfully taking care of his own shopping, cleaning, cooking, laundry, appearance, car, job, meals, family relationships, etc.--successfully enough that the woman fell for him, at least. And then they get married, and the wife instantly starts treating this person, who has been a competent adult for years, as if he is incompetent at everything. Suddenly he doesn't dress right, he can't be trusted to cook or clean or show up on time or express himself in a socially acceptable way. His life must be micromanaged and his decisions and actions--especially regarding practical living and home life--questioned and challenged and corrected, almost like he's a child needing to be taught or, worse, an animal that must be trained.
That seems unfair to me. It seems like we ought to be giving our spouse as much credit and respect as we give the grocery store clerk, the stranger on the street, co-workers, ward members, and our other friends. If you treat someone like they're incompetent long enough, they stop trying (they just get criticized for it) and live up (or, rather, down) to our expectations. And then women complain--publicly and in detail--that their husband won't help with anything in the house! Perhaps it's because the woman won't let them? Or criticized them for every effort (either verbally or just by doing it over when he's not looking)? Would YOU keep helping someone who kept telling you everything you did was wrong (or even just correcting it "gently")--even if it was something you'd been doing for years? I doubt it.
Ironically, if women get treated the way they treat their husbands (but not most other men), the behavior is labeled abusive and the woman is encouraged to leave.
So that was my second thought: we ought to make every effort to remember that our spouse is a competent adult who can do everything we can do--and many things better, even in the traditional "woman's" realm. Different is not necessarily wrong. There are many right ways to do things. And you never know--you just might discover that his way is both easier and more effective than yours!
I also thought I might tell her that men just like to be told (vs. hinted at, bossed, or nagged). They also like to be asked nicely--like you would your sister, or your friend, or your mother. Like you did when you were dating him. Men don't want you to drop hints that the garbage needs to be taken out OR say, "Why don't you ever take the garbage out?". They want you to say, "Honey, would you please take the garbage out?" They don't want to be hinted at that you're mad or sad or hurting or hungry. Don't break the dishes in the sink and hope they notice. Just say, "I am so angry!" and tell them why.
I didn't tell her any of these things, though. Watching her and her spouse, it seems to me that she already knows.
What I ended up telling her was, "You look beautiful." She did.
And if she doesn't already know it, she'll figure out the rest.
I kept wondering what you tell someone who is getting married about marriage that will help them have a happy marriage.
I can only think of a few things I might tell my sister:
I distinctly remember when I was a teenager and I went out walking with my best friend, who I married many years later. It was night, and as we walked, it got colder and he gave me his coat, which I gratefully took. We kept walking, and several minutes later I realized he was shivering. Foolish me--I hadn't realized that when a man gives a woman his coat, the man is COLD.
So that's one thing I kept thinking about. Somehow, we women seem to forget that men have feelings just like we do. Men are culturally presented as stoic and strong and hormonal, but the reality is they have feelings. And they want their feelings taken just as seriously as we want them to take ours. They want to love. They want to be loved. Just like I took Tim's coat without it ever occurring to me that he would be cold, I see many marriages where the woman expects to be loved and romanced and cared for with no thought that perhaps her husband might be feeling exactly the same way. It's worth it to share the responsibility for the love in a marriage--you fill your spouse's needs (even the ones you might not realize he has!--he'll tell you if he finds out you want to know) and it's more likely he will fill yours.
The other thing I keep thinking about is how women find a man who has been living on his own for who knows how long--years usually--and successfully taking care of his own shopping, cleaning, cooking, laundry, appearance, car, job, meals, family relationships, etc.--successfully enough that the woman fell for him, at least. And then they get married, and the wife instantly starts treating this person, who has been a competent adult for years, as if he is incompetent at everything. Suddenly he doesn't dress right, he can't be trusted to cook or clean or show up on time or express himself in a socially acceptable way. His life must be micromanaged and his decisions and actions--especially regarding practical living and home life--questioned and challenged and corrected, almost like he's a child needing to be taught or, worse, an animal that must be trained.
That seems unfair to me. It seems like we ought to be giving our spouse as much credit and respect as we give the grocery store clerk, the stranger on the street, co-workers, ward members, and our other friends. If you treat someone like they're incompetent long enough, they stop trying (they just get criticized for it) and live up (or, rather, down) to our expectations. And then women complain--publicly and in detail--that their husband won't help with anything in the house! Perhaps it's because the woman won't let them? Or criticized them for every effort (either verbally or just by doing it over when he's not looking)? Would YOU keep helping someone who kept telling you everything you did was wrong (or even just correcting it "gently")--even if it was something you'd been doing for years? I doubt it.
Ironically, if women get treated the way they treat their husbands (but not most other men), the behavior is labeled abusive and the woman is encouraged to leave.
So that was my second thought: we ought to make every effort to remember that our spouse is a competent adult who can do everything we can do--and many things better, even in the traditional "woman's" realm. Different is not necessarily wrong. There are many right ways to do things. And you never know--you just might discover that his way is both easier and more effective than yours!
I also thought I might tell her that men just like to be told (vs. hinted at, bossed, or nagged). They also like to be asked nicely--like you would your sister, or your friend, or your mother. Like you did when you were dating him. Men don't want you to drop hints that the garbage needs to be taken out OR say, "Why don't you ever take the garbage out?". They want you to say, "Honey, would you please take the garbage out?" They don't want to be hinted at that you're mad or sad or hurting or hungry. Don't break the dishes in the sink and hope they notice. Just say, "I am so angry!" and tell them why.
I didn't tell her any of these things, though. Watching her and her spouse, it seems to me that she already knows.
What I ended up telling her was, "You look beautiful." She did.
And if she doesn't already know it, she'll figure out the rest.
Did I just read that?
from CNN.com's home page today, the first headline: "Poles vote to replace president killed in crash"
http://www.cnn.com/2010/WORLD/europe/06/20/poland.election/index.html?hpt=T1
That's good. A dead president probably isn't very effective. I wonder what would have happened had the opposition won--you know, the side that was rooting to NOT replace him?
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Did I just read that?
From provo Craigslist today: "I am 201years old and most the stuff is size Medium or Small " http://provo.craigslist.org/zip/1795176646.html
Wow. Forget the stuff. I want to know where she found the Fountain of Youth!
Wow. Forget the stuff. I want to know where she found the Fountain of Youth!
Did I just read that?
from Fox News.com today:
"Police, firefighters and relatives found the victims when they broke into their home at 11:30 a.m. after other family members said they had not been able to reach them since Monday night, the prosecutor said." (http://www.foxnews.com/us/2010/06/16/da-relatives-dead-horrific-scene-boston-area-home-man-sought-questioning/?test=latestnews)
Pretty tricky, the murder victims breaking into their own home. I wonder why Police, Firefighters, and Relatives were already there waiting?
"Police, firefighters and relatives found the victims when they broke into their home at 11:30 a.m. after other family members said they had not been able to reach them since Monday night, the prosecutor said." (http://www.foxnews.com/us/2010/06/16/da-relatives-dead-horrific-scene-boston-area-home-man-sought-questioning/?test=latestnews)
Pretty tricky, the murder victims breaking into their own home. I wonder why Police, Firefighters, and Relatives were already there waiting?
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Off we go again
Wednesday morning sometime, Tim got a call informing him that he had been selected to sing with and open for Imogen Heap. In Salt Lake City. On Saturday.
At 3:00 he finally woke me up to tell me. I said, "So we're leaving tomorrow?" He said, "How about tonight?"
We figured if we left by 9:00, we'd get in at 4:00 am, and that's the time I was going to bed anyway....
So I hopped out of bed and we rushed to work--washing dishes, sorting laundry, picking up, packing....all the stuff we'd planned to do for the next 3-4 days before we left on Monday the 14th.
At around dusk, Tim came in and said Dan had been helping him clean out the trailer and had accidentally pulled out some wires and could I come check them. They were pulled clean out and had a splicer on them, so it was an easy repair.
Except then the trailer lights wouldn't go on.
3 hours later, after working in the dark with the help of 3 kids and re-doing five wire splices twice and cleaning all the copper I could find, we managed to get enough of the trailer lights going on that we could go. Couldn't do anything about the check engine light that was on, too, or the missing front turn signal light, so we decided to pray we made it (and we did).
But then we still had to finish dishes, laundry, taking out garbages, packing, etc--all the things that have to be done when the tour is more than 4 days long.
So we left for Utah at 1:30 am, tired and hungry.
And we drove. And drove. And drove. And drove.
Every river we drove past or over was raging, full, overflowing its banks. Lots of flooded fields and campgrounds. We went through a couple of rainstorms.
We had a toddler cry for an hour before we discovered his car seat was cutting into his neck (there's still a mark there, 3 days later).
We got in to Lehi at 10:51 am, and didn't get everyone to bed until about noon--Nathanael was so happy to be out of the car he ran around chasing chickens and dancing his guts out all over the house.
And now here we are in Utah.
We had a fairly intense Thursday, with sleeping all the wrong hours and then visiting with family (11 children, 8 yo and under, running crazy all at once). Lots of preparation for the wedding next week.
Few hiccups: Tim found he couldn't do the video editing with the equipment he had, and then the studio he thought he'd be able to use was really busy and needed all their machines. Thanks to some friends, that got worked out and we will still have an income next month. So today was a little stressful. There was a minor family crisis (of a rather private nature) that caused a great deal of distress in one sister's family on Tuesday and Wednesday, and by coming here we managed to jump right into that as well as the wedding preparations/moving my other sister into her new home.
And I discovered that, for a person who was just barely making it through each day before (me!), jumping into a public place full of work and crises has not been so easy. It's bad enough to let everything slide when you're at home. It's really embarrassing to let everything slide at someone else's house.
It's also been really hard to be here and see my siblings struggling--some with happy hard things and some with sad hard things--and not have the physical or emotional energy to take them in and love them and pay attention to them as intensely as I want to. Thank goodness there are other people who also love them and have the physical ability to help right now!
Coming out here early made me miss my self-imposed deadline for my novel. It's not done today like it was supposed to be. That's not entirely bad. During the long drive I figured out something I'd done wrong in the plot that was detrimental to the main character's character arc. So now I can fix that on the first go-around instead of in a later revision. Hooray! And I still have time to finish the book and print a copy for Anda's birthday (which is what she wants).
So here we are!
Come visit. We'd love to see everyone.
At 3:00 he finally woke me up to tell me. I said, "So we're leaving tomorrow?" He said, "How about tonight?"
We figured if we left by 9:00, we'd get in at 4:00 am, and that's the time I was going to bed anyway....
So I hopped out of bed and we rushed to work--washing dishes, sorting laundry, picking up, packing....all the stuff we'd planned to do for the next 3-4 days before we left on Monday the 14th.
At around dusk, Tim came in and said Dan had been helping him clean out the trailer and had accidentally pulled out some wires and could I come check them. They were pulled clean out and had a splicer on them, so it was an easy repair.
Except then the trailer lights wouldn't go on.
3 hours later, after working in the dark with the help of 3 kids and re-doing five wire splices twice and cleaning all the copper I could find, we managed to get enough of the trailer lights going on that we could go. Couldn't do anything about the check engine light that was on, too, or the missing front turn signal light, so we decided to pray we made it (and we did).
But then we still had to finish dishes, laundry, taking out garbages, packing, etc--all the things that have to be done when the tour is more than 4 days long.
So we left for Utah at 1:30 am, tired and hungry.
And we drove. And drove. And drove. And drove.
Every river we drove past or over was raging, full, overflowing its banks. Lots of flooded fields and campgrounds. We went through a couple of rainstorms.
We had a toddler cry for an hour before we discovered his car seat was cutting into his neck (there's still a mark there, 3 days later).
We got in to Lehi at 10:51 am, and didn't get everyone to bed until about noon--Nathanael was so happy to be out of the car he ran around chasing chickens and dancing his guts out all over the house.
And now here we are in Utah.
We had a fairly intense Thursday, with sleeping all the wrong hours and then visiting with family (11 children, 8 yo and under, running crazy all at once). Lots of preparation for the wedding next week.
Few hiccups: Tim found he couldn't do the video editing with the equipment he had, and then the studio he thought he'd be able to use was really busy and needed all their machines. Thanks to some friends, that got worked out and we will still have an income next month. So today was a little stressful. There was a minor family crisis (of a rather private nature) that caused a great deal of distress in one sister's family on Tuesday and Wednesday, and by coming here we managed to jump right into that as well as the wedding preparations/moving my other sister into her new home.
And I discovered that, for a person who was just barely making it through each day before (me!), jumping into a public place full of work and crises has not been so easy. It's bad enough to let everything slide when you're at home. It's really embarrassing to let everything slide at someone else's house.
It's also been really hard to be here and see my siblings struggling--some with happy hard things and some with sad hard things--and not have the physical or emotional energy to take them in and love them and pay attention to them as intensely as I want to. Thank goodness there are other people who also love them and have the physical ability to help right now!
Coming out here early made me miss my self-imposed deadline for my novel. It's not done today like it was supposed to be. That's not entirely bad. During the long drive I figured out something I'd done wrong in the plot that was detrimental to the main character's character arc. So now I can fix that on the first go-around instead of in a later revision. Hooray! And I still have time to finish the book and print a copy for Anda's birthday (which is what she wants).
So here we are!
Come visit. We'd love to see everyone.
Tuesday, June 08, 2010
Benji says, "
Benji values play and fun more than almost anything. Teasing is a great joy for him. So is activity.
So when it's time for a diaper change/putting on a nighttime diaper (now that he's getting potty trained), I have learned to allow for some play if I want a smooth, cooperative experience.
Lately, the play has taken the form of being a "super hero." I come to the corner of my bed where I always change diapers. He goes to the opposite corner and stands on the night stand. Then he says, "I going to do a Super Hero!" and he LEAPS across the bed, always managing to land with his head toward me (on purpose). Then I'm supposed to swing him around as fast as I can....and then he lets me do the diaper thing.
So today the game changed.
He went over to the night stand as usual, but then looked at me in all seriousness and said, "Use your mouse to move the Benji to the diaper change" in his best fake-toned, happy and sweet computer game instructions voice (the one they use to give instructions to kids on ALL the kids games). Then he grabbed an imaginary computer mouse and manipulated it in the air--and jumped totally the wrong direction.
"Nope! Try again!" he said cheerfully, and returned to his corner. "Use the mouse to move the me to the diaper" he said. Then he leaped onto Tim's pillow, then my pillow, and then the diaper change corner. "You made it! Great job!" he said.
And THEN he let me put his diaper on for bedtime.
That's Benji for you. Life is a computer game.
So when it's time for a diaper change/putting on a nighttime diaper (now that he's getting potty trained), I have learned to allow for some play if I want a smooth, cooperative experience.
Lately, the play has taken the form of being a "super hero." I come to the corner of my bed where I always change diapers. He goes to the opposite corner and stands on the night stand. Then he says, "I going to do a Super Hero!" and he LEAPS across the bed, always managing to land with his head toward me (on purpose). Then I'm supposed to swing him around as fast as I can....and then he lets me do the diaper thing.
So today the game changed.
He went over to the night stand as usual, but then looked at me in all seriousness and said, "Use your mouse to move the Benji to the diaper change" in his best fake-toned, happy and sweet computer game instructions voice (the one they use to give instructions to kids on ALL the kids games). Then he grabbed an imaginary computer mouse and manipulated it in the air--and jumped totally the wrong direction.
"Nope! Try again!" he said cheerfully, and returned to his corner. "Use the mouse to move the me to the diaper" he said. Then he leaped onto Tim's pillow, then my pillow, and then the diaper change corner. "You made it! Great job!" he said.
And THEN he let me put his diaper on for bedtime.
That's Benji for you. Life is a computer game.
Sunday, June 06, 2010
Today's "adventures"
So, today....where would I start?
We're shifting our schedule forward again, so we slept from around 8:00 am until 5:00 pm and woke up really tired.
Also hot because the A/C in the house isn't working (I think it just needs to be recharged), so I didn't bother to turn it on. The new swamp cooler I got free off craigslist works great--for a 15' square room--but the humidity was around 50% all day, so it cooled, but only to 78 degrees. Still hot. We did manage to get the whole house cooled right chilly by dawn, though.
What else?
I got to work on my novel for several hours. That was WONDERFUL. Everyone just played around me and let me work.
Benji managed to:
poop on the back porch
throw up all over the office
take 2 baths
and turn the plugged up sink on full and then close the bathroom door, flooding the entire bathroom and into the basement.
Lovely day, this.
We're shifting our schedule forward again, so we slept from around 8:00 am until 5:00 pm and woke up really tired.
Also hot because the A/C in the house isn't working (I think it just needs to be recharged), so I didn't bother to turn it on. The new swamp cooler I got free off craigslist works great--for a 15' square room--but the humidity was around 50% all day, so it cooled, but only to 78 degrees. Still hot. We did manage to get the whole house cooled right chilly by dawn, though.
What else?
I got to work on my novel for several hours. That was WONDERFUL. Everyone just played around me and let me work.
Benji managed to:
poop on the back porch
throw up all over the office
take 2 baths
and turn the plugged up sink on full and then close the bathroom door, flooding the entire bathroom and into the basement.
Lovely day, this.
Saturday, June 05, 2010
Did I just read that?
from the Deseret News: "But the vast majority of the time capsule was full of sepia-tone wedding announcements of friends and members of their LDS ward, which had once been stapled to the stairwell between the two apartments." http://www.deseretnews.com/article/700038016/Former-BYU-students-open-80s-time-capsule.html
That's a funny place to keep a ward, stapled to the stairwell. I wonder how the bishop felt about that?
That's a funny place to keep a ward, stapled to the stairwell. I wonder how the bishop felt about that?
Thursday, June 03, 2010
Did I just read that?
Apparently I've been collecting these for a lot longer than I thought. We unpacked a box that we packed when we left Utah--in 2004. In it, I found a couple of clippings from an old Macey's ad, with a couple of these circled:
"Clean and Smooth 64 oz Anti-Bacterial Soup $2.99"
Yum?
There was another one. When I find it, I'll post it, too.
"Clean and Smooth 64 oz Anti-Bacterial Soup $2.99"
Yum?
There was another one. When I find it, I'll post it, too.
Wednesday, June 02, 2010
My new pondering
I had one of those stupid experiences today that left me with hurt feelings--and feeling stupid that my feelings were hurt.
First, Tim and Caleb RUSHED off to Scouts, only to find they'd cancelled it for all age groups but didn't bother to tell us. No phone call, no email...except last Sunday when we got a call asking if Tim would be around Tuesday to help and I assured them he would be back in town. Hmmm. Shrugged it off.
But then Tim said, "They're setting up for a Relief Society Dinner of some kind at the church. I asked one of the sisters what's going on, and she said she's in primary all Sunday, so she didn't know except they asked her to bring cookies." No clue when it was supposed to start.
Hmmm.... and then I forgot about it.
I was too busy being "at the crossroads" with Tim as he got home from a successful audition in Chicago, plus 32 hours of driving in 48 hours, so we were catching up with each other. We took the kids for a walk and ended up at the church to let them run on the big lawn there (the kids LOVE doing that). We arrived just as the last few straggler sisters arrived for the dinner. I wanted to be with Tim, though, so I didn't go in until later, when I needed a drink. And I passed the gym on the way and saw a bunch of the Relief Society all sitting around having a fancy dinner on fancy China--and I got the distinct feeling they were having a party and I wasn't invited.
Tim told me I should go in and join them, that he would take the kids home himself, but I was late enough that I felt deeply uncomfortable walking in and getting a plate, and I couldn't face finding a place to sit when everyone was settled. And I couldn't face the questions about where I've been for 2 months and how I'm feeling now--or worse, if nobody even asked. So I told Tim I didn't want to, and we went home.
And I felt stupid that my feelings were hurt that they had a big fancy party and didn't invite me because I've been sick for 2 months straight. They didn't even put it on the ward Calendar online (which I have email updates set up for). It was kind of a "active sisters only" party, and I felt excluded. And also stupid for caring.
Anyway, it got me thinking about an interesting question: are we giving the most attention to the people in our wards who need it the least?
How many people, like me, would BE THERE if they only knew about it? And how many just don't get told because they had to work Sunday morning (like Tim did this week), or were suffering with an extended illness (like me), or are in Primary (like my friend who didn't even know what the event was, but was faithfully there helping set up anyway because she found out somehow--perhaps because her husband is in the bishopric).
Are we lavishing all our attention on the people who are able to easily make it to church on Sunday, and completely ignoring those who need the special attention and help?
I am ashamed to admit I have been. When I'm not struggling to just survive myself!
Then I started thinking about my own visiting teaching list, and was horrified at what I discovered. MORE THAN ONCE I was told by more than one person that my list consisted of, "Sister W., who you won't have any trouble seeing, and Sister X, who is a snowbird and in Arizona, so you can ignore her, and Sister Z, who never comes; I think she has cancer or something. So anyway, you pretty much only have to worry about Sister W." Sister W, who is fully active in the ward, in contact with half the relief society on facebook, and has family in the ward who watch out for her. Sister W, who surely needs visiting teachers because everyone does and because we are all sometimes barely making it, but who is certainly not struggling alone.
And this is what killed me: Sister Z, who has cancer or something and so she's hard to get ahold of and nobody's seen her, so don't worry too much about that. WHAT? THIS is the person who needs us most. Just because we don't know her and nobody's seen her doesn't mean she doesn't want and need us. She might not, but....I have been sick for 2 months and was devastated that nobody bothered to tell me about things going on in the ward. How might she feel, when she should be getting meals brought in, or her house vacuumed, or at least a VISIT and a "how are you feeling" or a "I brought you a plate from the RS Dinner." But no, my instructions were, "You don't have to worry about her."
So now I'm asking myself, "Am I paying the most attention to the people who need it least?" And also, "How do you solve this? How do you inform everyone about things that are happening, instead of just the active members?" Even if you put it in the ward announcements--they're only printed in the program. Nobody has a budget for mailing a calendar to every member family on the list even if they aren't active. So what's the solution?
(And also, How can I get my visiting teaching done properly when I am sick, awake only at night--but all night--and usually alone with 5 kids and no car about 80% of the time?)
First, Tim and Caleb RUSHED off to Scouts, only to find they'd cancelled it for all age groups but didn't bother to tell us. No phone call, no email...except last Sunday when we got a call asking if Tim would be around Tuesday to help and I assured them he would be back in town. Hmmm. Shrugged it off.
But then Tim said, "They're setting up for a Relief Society Dinner of some kind at the church. I asked one of the sisters what's going on, and she said she's in primary all Sunday, so she didn't know except they asked her to bring cookies." No clue when it was supposed to start.
Hmmm.... and then I forgot about it.
I was too busy being "at the crossroads" with Tim as he got home from a successful audition in Chicago, plus 32 hours of driving in 48 hours, so we were catching up with each other. We took the kids for a walk and ended up at the church to let them run on the big lawn there (the kids LOVE doing that). We arrived just as the last few straggler sisters arrived for the dinner. I wanted to be with Tim, though, so I didn't go in until later, when I needed a drink. And I passed the gym on the way and saw a bunch of the Relief Society all sitting around having a fancy dinner on fancy China--and I got the distinct feeling they were having a party and I wasn't invited.
Tim told me I should go in and join them, that he would take the kids home himself, but I was late enough that I felt deeply uncomfortable walking in and getting a plate, and I couldn't face finding a place to sit when everyone was settled. And I couldn't face the questions about where I've been for 2 months and how I'm feeling now--or worse, if nobody even asked. So I told Tim I didn't want to, and we went home.
And I felt stupid that my feelings were hurt that they had a big fancy party and didn't invite me because I've been sick for 2 months straight. They didn't even put it on the ward Calendar online (which I have email updates set up for). It was kind of a "active sisters only" party, and I felt excluded. And also stupid for caring.
Anyway, it got me thinking about an interesting question: are we giving the most attention to the people in our wards who need it the least?
How many people, like me, would BE THERE if they only knew about it? And how many just don't get told because they had to work Sunday morning (like Tim did this week), or were suffering with an extended illness (like me), or are in Primary (like my friend who didn't even know what the event was, but was faithfully there helping set up anyway because she found out somehow--perhaps because her husband is in the bishopric).
Are we lavishing all our attention on the people who are able to easily make it to church on Sunday, and completely ignoring those who need the special attention and help?
I am ashamed to admit I have been. When I'm not struggling to just survive myself!
Then I started thinking about my own visiting teaching list, and was horrified at what I discovered. MORE THAN ONCE I was told by more than one person that my list consisted of, "Sister W., who you won't have any trouble seeing, and Sister X, who is a snowbird and in Arizona, so you can ignore her, and Sister Z, who never comes; I think she has cancer or something. So anyway, you pretty much only have to worry about Sister W." Sister W, who is fully active in the ward, in contact with half the relief society on facebook, and has family in the ward who watch out for her. Sister W, who surely needs visiting teachers because everyone does and because we are all sometimes barely making it, but who is certainly not struggling alone.
And this is what killed me: Sister Z, who has cancer or something and so she's hard to get ahold of and nobody's seen her, so don't worry too much about that. WHAT? THIS is the person who needs us most. Just because we don't know her and nobody's seen her doesn't mean she doesn't want and need us. She might not, but....I have been sick for 2 months and was devastated that nobody bothered to tell me about things going on in the ward. How might she feel, when she should be getting meals brought in, or her house vacuumed, or at least a VISIT and a "how are you feeling" or a "I brought you a plate from the RS Dinner." But no, my instructions were, "You don't have to worry about her."
So now I'm asking myself, "Am I paying the most attention to the people who need it least?" And also, "How do you solve this? How do you inform everyone about things that are happening, instead of just the active members?" Even if you put it in the ward announcements--they're only printed in the program. Nobody has a budget for mailing a calendar to every member family on the list even if they aren't active. So what's the solution?
(And also, How can I get my visiting teaching done properly when I am sick, awake only at night--but all night--and usually alone with 5 kids and no car about 80% of the time?)
Tuesday, June 01, 2010
Weird homeschooling day!
I spent the last week creating custom curricula for all my children with www.theheadoftheclass.com. They have complete pre-K through 3rd grade curricula available, free, including art and music (which most free programs skip), and we've been using them happily for months, even though I worried that Caleb was definitely NOT being challenged enough. Last week they introduced the customize curriculum option, to my great delight.
With the custom curriculum option in the program, you can draw from any of their thousands of resources and/or add your own from external websites, which then show up on the child menu alongside the Head of the Class activities.
So I chose what I wanted for my kids from their stuff (all interactives for Benji, for example, and for Nathanael), and then added what they wanted (Caleb wanted ALL the "fun" lessons, Pre-K through 3), and then I browsed my catalog of online resources over at Learning Lynx and picked a few things I thought the kids might enjoy learning from there, including supplementing Head of the Class's music lessons with films of people playing famous solos on each of the different instruments that Head of the Class introduced with animated movies. For Caleb, I pulled supplemental online music lessons from a college textbook's online learning center.
Caleb and Anda both wanted to study biology (which, for most online resources for kids now, is almost completely replaced with eco-science--so much so that the kids yell at me when I throw anything away because I should find a way to compost or recycle it! MOM!). Because of the overwhelming eco-focus of most of the kids' biology resources, I didn't want to use them--I want the kids to learn traditional biology, too. Things like organ systems in plants, and photosynthesis, and cell structure. You know--biology.
So I found an e-course over at Hippocampus: Biology for Non-Majors. It's college-level Bio-101. I didn't put in all the nitty-gritty lessons about things like cell respiration. But I linked over half of the course into the Head of the Class system for the two big kids. I should have put in the AP biology stuff for Anda--it's all video-format lessons instead of textbook-format lessons.
Anyway, then I put in a 7-12th grade health course for both big kids, too, from e-Learning For Kids. And then, at their requests, I put in a bunch of the Head of the Class materials.
So today Caleb and I sat down to do his school day, the first with the new curriculum.
First we had a college-level video showing someone playing the alto saxophone, and Caleb verbally compared the alto to the tenor sax we watched last week as a test lesson, and we briefly discussed where you might see a saxophone. With my kids (and especially Caleb), we go for short lessons so he can focus and retain the info.
Then we had a college-level lesson called "Kinds of Science" that discussed the different ways of dividing science up: empirical/formal, pure/applied, natural/social, etc. We also discussed the scientific method, looking at two different models of it and discussing it as a guideline, not a hard-and-fast rule, and also the places where some scientists get hung up (like on thinking only a positive result is valid, or trying to force a result because of the funding source, designing a poor experiment, or just plain having bias). Then we discussed experiments--that they should be objective and reproducible, and also structured right (and we got a little side tracked discussing placebo effect). Anyway, it was fun, and I could see Caleb's brain going (and I haven't seen that in ages), and the text was right on his reading level (finally!) and not over-simplified (finally!), and once he figured out I was going to ask him a question at the end of each page, he tuned in and paid attention (finally!). It was really stimulating. It took about 10 minutes, too (like I said, short lessons, rapid-fire info, and then move on).
Anda stood on the other side of the room listening, and then said, "Do I get to do that lesson, too?" I said, "yes," and she got all bouncy and excited and said, "Good!" I guess she's anxious to sink her teeth into some real learning, too!
Then we turned on the next lesson. It was a 3rd grade spelling lesson, making Caleb practice spelling the words for the numbers one through nine. Ouch! He had 3 spelling lessons on his list today--all covering the same material, it turned out. (After he was done, I went and customized all the excess spelling practice right off his list).
And then the next one was a little video on Cows that included the sentence, "Can you say 'moo'?"
Oh, my!
Caleb definitely doesn't belong in elementary school!
Thank goodness for a customizable curriculum and free, ready access to college materials. The only problem I'm beginning to see now is what happens when he gets to college and they make him take Bio 101 again? I guess we'll deal with that when the time comes.
With the custom curriculum option in the program, you can draw from any of their thousands of resources and/or add your own from external websites, which then show up on the child menu alongside the Head of the Class activities.
So I chose what I wanted for my kids from their stuff (all interactives for Benji, for example, and for Nathanael), and then added what they wanted (Caleb wanted ALL the "fun" lessons, Pre-K through 3), and then I browsed my catalog of online resources over at Learning Lynx and picked a few things I thought the kids might enjoy learning from there, including supplementing Head of the Class's music lessons with films of people playing famous solos on each of the different instruments that Head of the Class introduced with animated movies. For Caleb, I pulled supplemental online music lessons from a college textbook's online learning center.
Caleb and Anda both wanted to study biology (which, for most online resources for kids now, is almost completely replaced with eco-science--so much so that the kids yell at me when I throw anything away because I should find a way to compost or recycle it! MOM!). Because of the overwhelming eco-focus of most of the kids' biology resources, I didn't want to use them--I want the kids to learn traditional biology, too. Things like organ systems in plants, and photosynthesis, and cell structure. You know--biology.
So I found an e-course over at Hippocampus: Biology for Non-Majors. It's college-level Bio-101. I didn't put in all the nitty-gritty lessons about things like cell respiration. But I linked over half of the course into the Head of the Class system for the two big kids. I should have put in the AP biology stuff for Anda--it's all video-format lessons instead of textbook-format lessons.
Anyway, then I put in a 7-12th grade health course for both big kids, too, from e-Learning For Kids. And then, at their requests, I put in a bunch of the Head of the Class materials.
So today Caleb and I sat down to do his school day, the first with the new curriculum.
First we had a college-level video showing someone playing the alto saxophone, and Caleb verbally compared the alto to the tenor sax we watched last week as a test lesson, and we briefly discussed where you might see a saxophone. With my kids (and especially Caleb), we go for short lessons so he can focus and retain the info.
Then we had a college-level lesson called "Kinds of Science" that discussed the different ways of dividing science up: empirical/formal, pure/applied, natural/social, etc. We also discussed the scientific method, looking at two different models of it and discussing it as a guideline, not a hard-and-fast rule, and also the places where some scientists get hung up (like on thinking only a positive result is valid, or trying to force a result because of the funding source, designing a poor experiment, or just plain having bias). Then we discussed experiments--that they should be objective and reproducible, and also structured right (and we got a little side tracked discussing placebo effect). Anyway, it was fun, and I could see Caleb's brain going (and I haven't seen that in ages), and the text was right on his reading level (finally!) and not over-simplified (finally!), and once he figured out I was going to ask him a question at the end of each page, he tuned in and paid attention (finally!). It was really stimulating. It took about 10 minutes, too (like I said, short lessons, rapid-fire info, and then move on).
Anda stood on the other side of the room listening, and then said, "Do I get to do that lesson, too?" I said, "yes," and she got all bouncy and excited and said, "Good!" I guess she's anxious to sink her teeth into some real learning, too!
Then we turned on the next lesson. It was a 3rd grade spelling lesson, making Caleb practice spelling the words for the numbers one through nine. Ouch! He had 3 spelling lessons on his list today--all covering the same material, it turned out. (After he was done, I went and customized all the excess spelling practice right off his list).
And then the next one was a little video on Cows that included the sentence, "Can you say 'moo'?"
Oh, my!
Caleb definitely doesn't belong in elementary school!
Thank goodness for a customizable curriculum and free, ready access to college materials. The only problem I'm beginning to see now is what happens when he gets to college and they make him take Bio 101 again? I guess we'll deal with that when the time comes.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)