Don't know why....

This is really a baffling pregnancy for me. I thought, since it's number six, that I kind of had this pregnancy thing all figured out.

Not so!

I have NEVER felt this exhausted in a pregnancy--not even with baby number 1, when I was still going to work and then coming home and resting on the couch the rest of the day. I am so deeply exhausted at this point (I think I'm at 8 1/2 weeks now) that it is quite literally ALL I can do to get myself dressed each day and find food for myself (let alone the kidsies!).

I thought things would ease up when I was pretty much done nursing Nathanael, but no. Perhaps when my milk completely dries up? I don't know. All I know is I am so SO worn out that I am pretty much non-functional now, and I can't figure it out. Anemia? Shouldn't be--it's easy to crock pot beef, so I've been eating a lot of beef. That usually takes care of anemia for me.

Food is the other thing that has me surprised.

I haven't felt this morning sick (the all-day, nonstop variety) since I was pregnant with Anda. It's not as bad as with Caleb because I've learned in the intervening 4 pregnancies how to handle it, but I feel crappier more often than I remember for any of the others except Caleb.

On top of that, I'm hungry ALL the time. That usually doesn't strike me until after 16 weeks! Usually, I have little to no appetite in early pregnancy and lose 10-15 pounds right off the bat. This time, I spend all day feeling sick and thinking about food. It's like my entire existence survives around finding things I can stand to eat. And large amounts, too. Where I used to eat an apple before bed, I eat a full dinner now (full plate of chef salad, 3-5 half peaches with sour cream/brown sugar topping, and an extra boiled egg), plus dessert. I wake up in the middle of the night starving (and debating whether eating will wake up my digestive system sufficiently that the morning sickness will be worse, or not?). I eat, wait long enough to sit down in my chair, and then I'm hungry again (and hungry seems to be paired with nausea, so maybe that's why I'm sick all the time?). For a snack, which lasts me 5-10 minutes, I'll eat 5 sticks of celery with dressing. Then 15 minutes later I'm prowling the kitchen again, downing 2-3 oranges, 3 glasses of water in a row, or half a pitcher of juice.  Eventually, I get a couple of hours to just sit and rest, but by the end I'm ready to vomit I'm so hungry.....

And it just never stops. It goes on and on and on.

The other baffling thing is that, while I normally "pop out" sooner than most moms, I'm startling myself when I walk past the mirror. At 4 weeks (instead of my usual 8), my friends were noticing a baby bump. FOUR weeks! At 8 now, I'm fully into the maternity clothes and trying to convince myself it's just because they're more comfortable....but then I saw myself in the mirror today and was startled. I look pregnant. Already. I suppose that's good--gives me an excuse to be teary, emotional, grouchy, and TIRED.  I'm scared for what I'll look like at 38 weeks, though! I think this is just the result of having had so many babies before. You get bigger faster with each kid--so number 6 means my tummy is ready to stretch. Or, to be honest, never had a chance to shrink completely from last time, or the time before, or the time before.....

So there are two theories floating around in my mind: either I'm having another girl, and that's why things are SO SO SO different this time, or the nursing plus pregnant has left me trying to nourish 3 bodies instead of just two, and that has wiped me out and exaggerated the symptoms. Or maybe both.

And if the second is the case, there might be hope for me. I think Nathanael is finally done nursing. So maybe next week will be better.