Conversations with my kids

Dan: "When I grow up, I'll have kids and I'll get to pick out names for them."
Me: "Yes."
Dan: "First I'll have a boy named Joe and then a girl named Mary."
Me: "Joe and Mary, huh? At the same time?"
Dan: "No. The boy first and then the girl. And name the Joe, and then Mary. And then I'll have another boy and name him Joe, and another girl and name her Mary. And then another boy named Joe and another girl named Mary. Joe. Mary. Joe. Mary. Like that."
Me: "That's a lot of Joes and Marys."
Dan: "Well I like those names."

Dan is playing with a toy that poofs air into his face when he squeezes it.
Anda: "Dan, be careful, that's my perfume."
Me: "Your perfume?" I don't have perfume. I'm allergic to it. So I wondered where she learned about it.
Anda: "Yes. My perfume. It makes you smell like an animal."


Dan: "What did the chicken SAY when it crossed the road?"
Me: "What?"
Dan: (triumphantly) "Cockadoodle doo!"