Sorry for the long absence from blogging. I've been sick.
Yes, morning sick. At least as bad as my second pregnancy, maybe as bad as my first--and at least twice as bad as either of the last two.
Plus I developed a severe headache that comes and goes but gets worse when anything touches my neck--including my pillow. So I've not been sleeping well, which makes it all worse. Tension? A sinus infection? It would be more convenient to find out if I had insurance....as it is, I have to look up the clinics in town that do "Pay on a sliding scale based on income", find proof of our income (where did I put those pay stubs?), and pray the care is half-decent, in English, and respectful of human dignity (none of which have been my experiences with welfare clinics).
To make things more convenient, I am exhausted and cry over everything. Everything. Harry Potter counting down to his eleventh birthday? General Conference address that says mothers should develop their talents but not surf the internet? Tim singing "Stand By Me" in the show? News articles? Recipes...oh, let's not go there. Put together the phrases "emotional" and "train wreck," and you have me.
Oh, and it gets better. I have all the strong cravings a first-time pregnancy gets. For a week all I wanted was pizza--and now I can't stand to even look at it (not since the one we bought to bake at home came out moldy....) Then I just HAD to have a couple of tacos from Jack in the Box, which I've only tasted one other time in my whole life--ten years ago, the day I met my parents at the end of my mission. Then the other day I had to have Arby's ham and swiss melt. The next day it was steak and mushrooms. And I'd pay a lot right now for a toasted turkey-and-avocado sandwich, but I don't even know who makes those. Oh, and when we ran out of nectarines I thought I would die. I actually ate a whole Juan Canary Melon the other day. HAD to have it--and I'd never even tasted one before! (It's a lot like honeydew, if you wondered).
I also have food aversions. Don't make me drink soda. Or eat candy. Even ice cream looks nasty, and I barely tasted Tim's birthday cake and didn't even touch Anda's. And I can hardly look at tuna without gagging. This is only significant because Tuna is everyone's favorite lunch meat lately.
So, to make things worse, my usual distraction, working on my novel, is tied up in writer's block. Everywhere else I look there are messes because I feel to tired to fix them, and Tim is already handling all poopy diapers, his regular jobs (performing, composing, working on school, etc), the dishes, the laundry, and feeding kids.
Plus it's now 107 degrees in the shade every day, so going outside brings on waves of nausea. Apparently the local roaches are opposed to the heat, too--they've decided to come into the house.
Then the kids got ahold of an old sleeping bag and ripped a big L-shaped tear in the bottom. The would be no big deal, except it happened to be an honest-to-goodness down sleeping bag and they happened to be in the room where toys are spilled all over the floor, so vacuuming up the mess in time was impossible.
You wanna know what sleeping bag down blowing in the air conditioner looks like? Roaches.