Did I just read that?

"A toddler is safe at homeafter wandering onto a busy highway in Dodge County, Wisconsin. Guadalupe Ollarzabal spotted the boy as he was driving along Highway 19 Wednesday evening."   http://www.9news.com/news/sidetracks/290364/337/2-year-old-found-wandering-on-highway

What a toddler was doing driving is beyond me!

Another tourette boy?

Benji went to his first full day of Kindergarten today. He'd done two half days before, but this was his first full day.

He was SO excited. Benji has always been my "See ya, Mom!" kid. He's the only one who went willingly to nursery and kicked me out, for example. So he was totally okay trotting out the door this morning and handling things himself.

And he came home happy. Unfortunately, he didn't eat his lunch at all because he was afraid it might have rotted by the time he got to eat it (and I gave him fruit and chips--none of which rot in 4 hours!). I hear that right after lunch he had one meltdown (but only one) but nobody from the school called me, so I'm guessing they got it taken care of. I hope so, anyway. Caleb and Anda both happened by while it was happening and gave him love and tissues and tried to help him stop crying--I'm so glad they were there at the right time!

Anyway, he came home happy. And he came home with a tic.

It's a really obvious shoulder-abdomen tic that is undeniably ticcing and not something else. This fascinated me because he also came home able to sit in a chair and ask and answer questions calmly, without jumping around, running, or touching me excessively. And without repeating the first entire half of his sentences over and over.

And suddenly it occurred to me that he might have Tourette Syndrome, just like Caleb. I have suspected, off and on, for a couple of years that it might be in Benji, too, because he did this eye-blinking thing. But I wasn't sure if it was a tic or if he was mimicking Caleb. Benji is an incredibly talented mimic (I swear the kid is going to be a Broadway star--all the "annoying" things he does are considered talents on Broadway, just not in Sunday School). So I wasn't settled on whether he was mimicking or ticcing, but it didn't matter because there isn't a good treatment for tics anyway.

So I was telling Tim about this new tic and, in  the course of a couple of different conversations about it with Tim, I realized (because Tim pointed it out) that Benji repeating entire half sentences over and over is probably not him trying to rephrase things just right--it's probably a tic. In fact, Caleb used to do that, too. He just repeated smaller phrases than Benji does, but the behavior is the same.

Then I realized (because I read it in an article as I was doing some research) that Benji's completely annoying habit of pawing at me while he talks is probably a tic. Apparently touching other people is a common tic.

And it occurred to me that the excessive running that Benji does might not be ADHD or SPD (although I'm still absolutely convinced he has SPD). It might be a tic. He often sways or wiggles and then runs while he's trying to tell me things, and today it was striking that he didn't. He did that shoulder-abdomen thing instead. So that's when I thought--I wonder if the running is a tic? I wonder if he tics by hopping up to run and then finds himself across the room or in the front and then just does something there, like touch the blackboard, simply because he himself is trying to comprehend why he's there and why he needed to get up and run and what the heck is going on. I wonder if the trouble he gets in sometimes is because he is trying to justify his tic to himself. When Caleb was 3 and then again when he was 5 and we realized there was something going on, I asked him if he did that on purpose after a tic, and he said, 'Of course I do. I meant to do that.' He was trying to comprehend what his body was doing, and he figured he must have chosen to tic, probably because he felt the premonitory urge (a warning that you're about to tic, or that you need to, kind of like you just know when you're going to sneeze and the feeling doesn't go away until you do) and figured he must have chosen to tic to get that to go away.

Knowing that the repeated phrases, the eye blinking, the pawing at people (who would have guessed that one?!), the fact that his tic wanders or changes from place to place around his body, the sleep disorder, the ADD symptoms all go together and absolutely indicate Tourette Syndrome has caused me to step back and look at Benji with new eyes.

One of the big challenges for families with TS is identifying what in the kid is a tic and can't be helped and what are just bad habits that need to be addressed. When he picks his nose, do we mention that or ignore it? When he stutters through sentences, do we get speech therapy or just wait for the tic to drift somewhere else? Is that clearing throat sound asthma that needs medication or is it a tic that needs to be ignored? And if you open the door to running, pawing, jumping, etc...where are the lines? What is ADD distraction and what is his head turning to the side when his brain is still completely with me? What is ADD movement required to get the brain focused and what is purposeless tic movement? How much of the jumping around his his normal, exuberant personality and how much is a tic? When he throws himself to the floor in the grocery store or licks a window or takes the clocks at the store down and changes the times on all of them, is that ADHD, a tic, a tic followed by a purposeful behavior to justify the tic, SPD overstimulation, or just bad behavior? You respond to each differently. You can bet I'm going to be watching Benji a lot in the next little while, feeling this one out. 

I learned today that TS (Tourette Syndrome) is genetic, so it's no surprise that more than one of our children would have it. Tim and I are wondering which family it came from--or if it's in both families. It's actually quite a bit of a surprise with all the siblings, cousins, nieces and nephews, aunts and uncles we have that nobody else has kids diagnosed with TS. We've seen clear evidence of other kids in the family with SPD, ADD, Hypokalemic sensory overstimulation disorder, DSPS (the sleep disorder), fibro, profound giftedness...all the other genetic things we carry. Mostly we know which of our four parents those things came from. So why not this one? Is nobody identifying the tics (since eye blinking isn't always obvious), or is it just not expressing itself and we just got lucky? Or are people just trying to discipline it out of their kids? I could totally see that last one. Even knowing about Caleb's TS, I've tried many many times to get Benji to just finish his sentences already, to get him to stop pawing at me, to get him to sit still--and that after I already identified the eye blinking as a probable tic. I'm shocked that I didn't rightly identify the palilalia (repeating your own phrases) even though it was nearly identical to Caleb's!

So what I'm wondering (and Tim is wondering) is what triggered the sudden development of a new tic right after the first full day of Kindergarten? Stress? Lack of sleep? Hunger? All of those things usually exacerbate TS. But the development of a new, dramatic, completely-unrelated-to-any-of-his-other-tics tic? I am wondering if someone put their foot down and said "If you can't be still and not run, you can't come anymore" and that was so traumatic to Benji (because he wants so desperately to be in school and to succeed at it) that it caused his tic to shift from running to the shoulder-abdomen thing. The rest of today, he did the shoulder-abdomen thing a lot, but I've almost never seen him sit so still for so long when there wasn't a movie on. And I've never seen him talk to me for extended periods like that (extended like 5 minutes straight) without hopping up, squirming, running off and coming back, pawing, poking, dancing, squirming again, and eventually getting so stuck trying to finish a sentence that he walks away.

Has TS been keeping this poor kid captive all this time, slave of a body that acted without his permission and to his consternation? And then for him to get in trouble for it....yikes. Poor Benji!

For Benji more than most kids, a TS diagnosis would dramatically change things--probably in ways that will make him much happier, even if it doesn't make it easier to take him to the grocery store.

Interesting notes: Did you know that up to 90% of people with Tourette Syndrome also have ADD, but that stimulant medications make the TS worse, so it's harder to treat?  And, interestingly, it turns out that sleep disorders are common comorbid conditions with TS. So I guess we fit right in, don't we?

Did I just read that?

From ksl.com home page: "Curiosity photos look curiously similar to Utah scientists"

So the Utah scientists look like dust and rock? Or there are humans on Mars.....

Four new Videos from Tim

Hey! New Videos! After a long time of not being able to get videos filmed, Tim got the garage cleaned out, repainted the black (yes, even the floor of my garage is black), and used his new camera to make videos.

And they look and sound great. He was so right about needing that particular camera! (Cannon EOS T2i, if you care to know--takes great pro-quality photos and video. Oh, and it was a great deal!).

So videos:
First, "Hot Night."

I love the imagery in the lyrics in this song. The whole idea of going downtown and seeing a "hipster hoping on a guitar" so captures the essence of local musicians. Love the lyrics on this. Tonight I saw him perform this live and at the end he slowed the rhythm way down (looping pedal can do this) and turned it into another song entirely without changing the loop. It was AMAZING. You'll have to see it live sometime. REALLY, really cool.


And "The Sound Goes Around"
I've been waiting to share this song for five years, and there was no good recording or video of it until now. There is a longer version of this that we got some live footage of, but it's still on the camera.

And "Momma"

This is not the first video of this song Tim has posted, but this is a great, dynamic performance. Watching it, I was struck by how very "Mormon" the song is, without being Mormon.  I just love Tim's lyrics. They are art. They are poetry. They are not nonsense, and they're not shallow.

And, finally, this. This just blew me away the first time I saw it. They have looping pedals, wired together, and are doing duo vocal live looping. I think they might be the only guys on the planet who have figured out how to do this, and who can make such incredible songs. The bass/drum thing that comes in about 3:20 is so delicious to me. I could listen to that forever. Seriously. It's like food for my soul. Oh, and you should hear it live, with the subwoofer. WOW. Anyway, seeing them play the looping pedals like keyboards and drum machines is truly amazing. This is a one-of-a-kind act and I don't think there are any other people on earth who can do what Matt Murphy and Tim are doing in this video. And there are a dozen new songs for this format in development, including one we don't have a video of yet called "Sandbox" that might just be my favorite of all of Tim's songs--and is certainly one of the kids' favorites (especially after they learned it was describing a video game....).  Anyway, this one is "Jungle Jackson":

Did I just read that?

"The microparticles can keep an object alive for up to 30 min after respiratory failure." http://www.techwench.com/scientists-invent-oxygen-particle-that-if-injected-allows-you-to-live-without-breathing/

So apparently scientists can now bestow life on objects? Fascinating.....

SPD and Fibromyalgia

When my sister called today to say we were right and her son does have SPD, my first thought was, "What?!"--I misheard "STDs."  (The kid isn't even one yet!).

SPD is Sensory Processing Disorder. With SPD, a person (usually a child, and usually a boy) either gets too much or too little feedback from their senses, processing the sensory input "wrong" and leading to sometimes bizarre behavior to either get more or avoid sensory input.

SPD happens in all the senses, and not evenly. Where one sense might be hypersensitive, another might be undersensitive, leading a kid to run constantly or speak too loudly but refuse to eat most foods and wear most clothes.  The "broken" sensory input can come in from any of the "standard" (taught in elementary school) five senses: taste, touch, smell, sight, or hearing; or from the "other" senses, which have big names that are actually more confusing but which are, in essence, the sense of where your body is in space (movement, balance) and the sense of where your body is in relationship to itself (where your limbs are, what angle your joints are bent at, is your head tipped to one side, etc). I suspect there are other senses that aren't on the standard SPD list, like pain. Pain is a sense--it's not touch or taste or smell or sight or hearing; it's not you-in-space or your-body-connected. And yes, it interacts with the other senses, but so do smell and taste, and sight and hearing, and touch and taste.

SPD is normally diagnosed in boys and is not considered genetic. It is often associated with autism because ALL autistic children have SPD, but in reality, not all children with SPD have autism (like all bipolar people sometimes are depressed, but not all depressed people are bipolar).  SPD is also extremely common among profoundly gifted people (and some people theorize is related to their intelligence: they take in and process more information than "average" people). One theory out there is that profoundly gifted people are often diagnosed with Asperger's or HFAutism because they actually have SPD and the disorders get confused with one another often. (Aspies, for example, don't like to be touched without warning. Neither do people with SPD, but that doesn't necessarily make them Aspies.)

SPD is newly on the radar--so much so that doctors and psychologists won't touch it, and many don't believe it exists. It has to be diagnosed by an occupational or physical therapist, and those are the people who most effectively treat it.

The "newness" of SPD is one reason I think people don't think it's genetic. There's not enough data to go around. Plus, it would be hard to collect data because it would necessarily be self-reported, and adults who have "always been this way" would not necessarily realize that not everyone was processing the world the same way they are, especially if they grew up and adapted and became fully functional adults. (Like that old question, what if I see blue the same way you see red--there would be no way to tell because the label is stuck to the color as you see it, not as everyone necessarily sees it.  "Normal" is what you've always experienced and can function in--not necessarily what everyone is experiencing).

I, personally, DO think it's genetic. Why?

Because I'm pretty sure my kids have it, my sisters kids have now been diagnosed, and, as I got reacquainted with dozens of my maternal cousins this summer, I discovered that MANY of their children have it, too. Many of them, from different families.

The thing that struck me when I got home from one of these encounters where we all went, "Oh, your kid, too? How bizarre that we each have one or two kids like this...." is that this is also the family that has huge numbers of women with fibromyalgia.

Fibro runs STRONGLY in my family. Almost shockingly so.

Then I started thinking: Fibro is a disorder where your senses collect information and then process it "wrong", turning normal sensation into pain. Nobody knows what causes it, but everyone agrees that fibro is heavily influenced by hormones.

So my theory is that fibro and SPD are the same thing, but that fibro is processed through female hormones (that's why you see it primarily in women) and SPD is processed through male hormones (which is why you see it mostly in boys).  Either way, your body's senses are processing information in a "wrong" way (primarily through hypersensitivity in fibro) and you are forced to adapt or medicate to survive.

I wish I had the time, resources, and expertise to test this theory. It would be a big deal to the world of SPD and fibro, opening doors of looking at things in new ways that hopefully would add insight that could lead to treatment. It certainly would be a groundbreaking study in both the SPD and fibro worlds! We certainly have a big enough family to actually do a legit genetic study--it's my mom's family, and she was one of 7 children (each of whom had 3 or more children, and most of those children had 3 or more children) and has over a hundred first cousins. There are well over 300 people in my generation in this family--just first and second cousins--and almost all of those 300 had 3 or more children. I wish I could get them all together, explain SPD and Fibro (both of which often go undiagnosed, so I'd have to explain it all in detail), and say, "How many of us have kids like this? How many have fibro? Can we trace the genetics somehow?"

Someday....

Did I just read that?

"Knox confirmed early Tuesday morning that police released Serenity around 12:30 a.m., to her maternal mother, Howell, 20." http://www.freep.com/article/20120820/NEWS01/120820081/Police-believe-they-ve-found-mother-baby-left-bus-stop?odyssey=nav|head

Is there any other type of mother? A paternal mother, perhaps?

What good is a dry marker?

My kids invariably leave the lids off their markers. So we end up with tons of dry markers sitting around. I used to gather them up and throw them away.

But no longer!

Lately, the favorite game is taking dry markers to the bathroom sink. They fill the sink with water and float the markers. Pretty soon, little rivulets of color are snaking through the water, making beautiful patterns.

Because our bathroom sink is white, the only color in the water comes from the markers. They've learned more about mixing to make new colors than they ever did with paint. And the mess goes down the drain when they're done.

We noticed that if you float a marker long enough, the tip turns white. But if you leave it out to "dry" for a while, the color usually returns--and the marker is no longer dry. It is once again useful for coloring on paper (provided you still have the lid somewhere).

So now I keep a container full of dry markers by the bathroom sink so the kids can play whenever they want. No more wasted markers.

Jobs?

Looking for jobs for Tim, applying here and there, and I'm finding a lot of stuff like this:

"Master's preferred from a regionally accredited institution.... $12.55 - $18.84 an hour." There is no way to pay off student loans for $12.55 an hour. Tim gets more than that per hour as an on-call manual labor guy breaking down sets for a theater every other week or so--and that doesn't require a Master's degree.

Or qualification include: "Moderate to deep understanding of the vocal music landscape in the US; Experience in non-profit development is a plus...This is a volunteer position." No pay? For a moderate to deep understanding of the vocal music landscape in the US? I mean, really? That takes 10 years to develop. Plus they want programming/web skills.

Another job wanted someone who was a professional accompanist on piano, professional voice teacher (all voice parts for adults), live event producer, vocal ensemble music director, and artistic visionary who could conceptualize and design performances ("from 10 minutes to full evenings"). There might be someone who can do ALL of that. Usually you'd hire 3-4 people for that job, especially since it was an arts college looking--you'd think they'd know to get experts in each of those fields.  Oh, and you don't even get to be faculty--this is merely a staff position, like some schools hire a vocal coach to help students prepare for performances. Just staff. No chance for advancement. 

Not very encouraging, is it? No wonder most of the musicians we know are either moving home or going back to school. The work opportunities available to musicians are looking pretty dismal right now, demanding lots of expertise for little to no pay--probably because even the experts are looking for whatever they can get.

Musicians in society

I've been reading "Mr. Langshaw's Square Piano: The Story of the First Pianos and How They Caused a Cultural Revolution" by Madeline Goold.

It's an interesting book, more about the life and training of musicians in the 1750s-1810s than it is about pianos.

The training of musicians back then was not too far different from now--musicians trained with teachers until they were deemed masters, and then they tried to get jobs.

And it wasn't an easy thing to do, partly because of the social status given musicians. Social status at that period in England was much more stratified than now, but it struck me that musicians still occupy the same social "space" as they did back then.

For example, Goold writes that it was "an era when professional musicians were regarded as menials; Mozart had been required to sit below the valets in the service of the Archbishop of Salzburg. In England, musicians ranked as tradesmen; Lord Chesterfield....in 1755, advised: 'Nothing degrades a man more than performing on any instrument whatsoever.'" (p 168).While it isn't considered degrading to play any instrument whatsoever nowadays, but it certainly only elevates him artistically. Nobody considers bassoon or oboe players to be socially "It".

Chesterfield also told his son, "piping and fiddling puts a gentleman in a very frivolous and contemptible light...and takes up a great deal of time that might be better employed" (p179). This is certainly an attitude that we (Tim and I) have noticed--often--in our own lives, over 250 years after it was said. I guess some things never change.

A friend of ours is writing his dissertation on band music in America in the mid-1800s, just after the period covered by the book I'm reading, and on the other side of the world. I got a sneak preview of the research (and it's really cool!), and one thing I noticed there that is parallel to England a century earlier is that communities value music as something that elevates them and brings them to a more sophisticated social plane. How interesting, then, that the very same communities did not (and still do not) value the musicians who make the music. They value the results of the labor, but not the laborers. Rather, they actually disdain the laborers, somehow isolating the fruit of their labor from the workers who create it, even while acknowledging not only the value of the fruits of the labor, but also the reality that they, themselves, could not create it.

Back in the day, it wasn't just musicians who were looked down upon. Any tradesman was considered inferior to those who did not have to work with their hands. Brain work was considered superior to manual labor. It strikes me that this is still true today--we value the hardwood floor, but not the man who cut the wood or the man who installed it; we value the fresh produce, but not the farmer who grew it; we value the smooth roads, but not the men who build them; we value large, sturdy houses, but not the men who build them. All of those things give us status socially even while associating with the people who make them does just the opposite.

Bizarre and sad. Why not value the workers, builders, and creators in society?

In our society, we do value the thinkers just like the men in the 1700s did, and we value the doctors and lawyers just like they did in the 1750s, and (oddly, when you think about it), we give social status to the wealthy even if they didn't earn their wealth. We also give status to the famous because our society craves both fame and money, imagining (wrongly) that those things give you both power and happiness.

Interestingly, some of the most famous and wealthy people in America are musicians--and because of their fame and wealth, they are held up as the pinnacle of success and social standing.  But it's not because they are musicians, and it's not because of their talent, even if people claim otherwise. It's because of their fame.

 That leaves most musicians in an odd position socially--most of them are still considered quirky frivolous time-wasters. They are treated as though they are irresponsible. When things go poorly for them, instead of getting sympathy, they get "I told you so" and "if you hadn't been so foolish as to become a musician.....". But if they happen to break through and become famous, suddenly they are the pinnacle of social success and looked to as something akin to the 1750s royalty, even if the day before they were the lowest rung of the ladder, below even construction workers because of the misperception that musicians do nothing all day and then sing at night for hundreds of dollars (at least construction workers, the thinking seems to go, have the decency to earn their wages honestly by using their hands and time to work--as if musicians don't.).

While by the mid-1800s, a few musicians (mostly composers) became superstars (Strauss, for one), most never did. Or do. Obviously, some things never change.

Dreaming of agents

The last few days my energy level has picked up and I determined to fix up some things that needed fixing, starting with the front window sun-blocking screen that came down. I spent all day yesterday puttering around doing tasks that needed to be done in and around my house.

Then last night I dreamed that I was at a party and there were no less than four literary agents there, friends of my cousins and friends, that I was interacting with socially. More than one asked me, "So what do you write?" And when I told them they said, "I want to read that." One even whipped out her laptop and asked if she could download my book and start on it right away.

And I was ashamed because it's not done. Oh, it's written all the way through. And I even know what needs to be done to fix it up (beginning is done, transition to middle needs work but it's only one chapter, middle is fantastic, ending needs less of one character and more of another--all easy, quick fixes, actually). But it's not actually done. And I haven't worked on it for months.

I woke up with the firm realization that anyone can fix up a house, but my work is raising kids and writing. Nobody else can do those things. Nobody can do it for me. Nobody can do it instead of me. This is the work I feel driven to, inspired about, made for, enlivened by.

Now how to fit it in? Inspiration is colliding with practical necessities. If something has to give, I hope I have the courage and wisdom to still do the things that nobody else can do.

Did I just read that?

This one was a winner. I don't think the doctors who paid to have their ads put up on sites meant it to come up like this.

At first glance, I missed the "ads by Google" label and saw the words and immediately this picture:

Yeah, that makes me want to go to those Loveland doctors with their friendly, convenient care!

http://www.seattlepi.com/news/article/Los-Angeles-officials-vote-to-ban-marijuana-shops-3732776.php

Did I just read that?

http://www.ksl.com/?sid=21370362&nid=148&title=omg-fire-burns-1300-acres-near-shivwits-reservation-near-st-george&s_cid=featured-3

"OMG fire burns 1300 acres near Shivwits reservation near St. George"

Is that really the name of that fire? Best fire name ever. I think that's what I would say if I saw a fire burning 1300 acres. 

I'll text it to you: OMG! Fire!

Did I just read that?

From the AP (no joke!): "3 LA-area homeless people found stabbed with notes"

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5izrJVHCy5oG00BnU4P9Sui0dcWOw?docId=8841c7d0bed845498f3b593099a2a216

That's some fancy origami that made it so they could be stabbed with notes instead of something a little sharper--like knives.

Dear President Obama,

I realize that Tim didn't build the roads. And that the sound equipment guys contributed a LOT toward his career.

But the reality is, the roads and sound equipment would exist without Tim, but his business wouldn't. He did build it. It is his. And if it succeeds or fails, it does have a great deal to do with Tim.

Perhaps you should start a business before you try to talk about them.

Thanks,
Me

PS When you can do this, then we'll talk about whether or not you deserve credit (and Tim's pay) for whatever success he might have.

Did I just read that?

"Worldwide, 2011 was the coolest year on record since 2008, yet temperatures remained above the 30 year average, according to the 2011 State of the Climate report released online today by NOAA. "   http://www.noaanews.noaa.gov/stories2012/20120710_stateoftheclimatereport.html

Yup, you heard it from NOAA.gov:  2011 was the coolest year since 2008! Since three whole years before it. It wasn't even the coolest year in the last 5 years. Nice. 

Another cute lie on a card

Oh, boy. This one shows up all over facebook in various forms, all on cute little quote cards: "Believe that everything happens for a reason." or "Everything happens for a reason."

I don't know who wrote that, or who is trying to promote it, but it's a big, fat, emotionally dangerous LIE.

Try telling that to a little girl whose dad molested her for years.

Try telling that to Elizabeth Smart, who was held captive as a sex slave to a mad man for 9 months when she was barely a teenager.

Try telling that to the mom whose daughter was kidnapped, raped, and murdered last month in Utah.

Try telling that to the mom who was 2 days shy of her baby's due date when her car was hit by a drunk driver on a suspended license--and it killed her baby.

Then look me in the eye and tell me why you think that lie is going to help ANYONE.  The reason those things happened is another person made a very bad choice, and someone else suffered for it. That's the reason.

Sometimes things happen because there are truly wicked people in this world. Sometimes really good, innocent people suffer a lot for their whole lives because one selfish, wicked person did something bad to them. And sometimes someone else made a mistake that had really sad ripples. Sometimes good people do dumb things that end up hurting other people.

And it makes me sick to think that all those facebook posters are trying to tell them that happened for a reason (presumably that some higher power condones). The quote seems to imply that God is controlling all these things that happen, and He WANTED it to happen.

Sometimes, there are bad things that happen because someone else made a choice, and sometimes it's dumb luck, and sometimes there seems to be no reason, and wasting energy searching for the reason is a waste of time and emotion.

I wish people would stop saying that everything happens for a reason. It's not helpful.

Really, bad things happen. And it's a good thing Jesus came and can help us get through them without it destroying our whole lives.

Cute Lies on Cards

It's become a serious fad to post cute little sayings on virtual cards all over facebook.

They're driving me nuts!

Some are harmless. Some are actually nice (like quotes from the prophets that are encouraging).

Some of the most popular are downright lies.

Like this one: "At any given moment, you have the power to say: This is not how the story is going to end."

Yeah, right.

Really, the end of the story is when and how you die, right? How many of us get to choose that? Barring suicide, none.

But even if we take "the story" to mean not your entire life, but just a little section of it, it's a cruel thing to tell someone that they have control over all the outcomes in their lives. Moms don't really get to decide if their babies are born healthy and without disabilities. Cancer patients don't get to decide to be healthy. Some people work all their lives and never get a baby/spouse/job/miracle/whatever they're hoping and praying for.

Sometimes you get fired.

Sometimes you end up in a wheel chair.

Sometimes your kid does.

Sometimes people get raped or tortured.

Sometimes there's a giant wildfire and it burns your house to the ground.

Sometimes the drunk driver does hit your car, and all you saying "This is not how the story is going to end!!" won't stop that. Sometimes that IS the end, and you can't stop it. And if it's not the end, then saying that is stupid.

We can't control other people, and for all our fuzzy warm thoughts, and all of our independent spirits, and all our empowerment, other people's choices do have a major impact on our lives--and we can't change that.

And sure, you can say, "The story is not going to end here"--because if the story wasn't completely over, you do have to pick up and move on.

Really, in life, the choice is not how the story ends. The choice is how we react, what we choose, and sometimes how we're going to focus from here on out (NOT necessarily what happens to us next).

Every story, ultimately, ends in death. And that's how it's supposed to be. But we don't get to choose a great deal of the things that happen to us, and it's truly not helpful to people who are struggling when we lie to them and tell them they can.

Because the reality is, either this IS how the story is going to end and you have no choice over that, or you haven't reached the end yet and you don't know what's going to happen next, so you choose your own actions and pray for the best.

Did I just read that?

"Hot dog eating face off set for Fourth" (This was the way the article headline was summarized on CNN.com's home page--the link takes you to a more accurate headline on the article itself). 

Maybe I'm just really really tired, but when I read this, I started wondering whose face the hot dog was eating off, and why they scheduled it for the fourth?

But then again, the "fixes" you could apply don't help:  "Hot dog-eating faceoff set for Fourth" isn't much better. Poor overheated canines!  

Did I just read that?

"Missing 2-year-old boy found safe, fad arrested"   http://www.9news.com/news/world/275679/347/Boy-abducted-by-father-found-safe-in-semi?odyssey=obinsite

So it was a fad for 2 yo to go missing, but they stopped that fad. Good thing!